Underwater- A Hunger Games FanFiction
by Gracie'sWorld
Summary: "We're two lost cases, the mad Victor, and the beautiful Victor with a double life they don't want. Neither of us have anything nor anybody remaining, just each other. So we need to hang on." POV of Annie Cresta, going from her Reaping to past Mockingjay. Suzanne Collins owns what you recognise. T for language and violence. :)
1. Chapter 1

1: Promises

"Now, class" Mr Sonesta is attempting to quieten the class so he can begin his Reaping Speech. The whispers and giggles eventually die down into an awkward quiet, and the teacher begins.

"70 years ago tomorrow, the first ever Hunger Games were held. Over the past 70 years, District 4 has had 20 Victors." He does this same speech every year, in what I could only guess is a dignified and subtle way to bring shame and guilt to us. "For some of you" He continues, "This will be your final Reaping, but for others, you still have one more year after this. Opposite this school is District 4's Academy of Excellence. 18 out of 20 of our winners are from the Academy, and this year, one more boy and girl will be pulled from our Reaping bowl, one of them may be you." Any kind of noise has stopped completely, and I can hear the waves rolling on to the beach through the slightly ajar window. "Maybe this year we will have a volunteer. Our last Victor, Finnick Odair, was a volunteer. Look where he is now!" Everybody knows Finnick Odair was a volunteer. At just 14, people thought he was buying a one way ticket to death, but with a natural ability to charm- and the now rare traditional District 4 looks under his belt, he was a born star it seemed. Several girls sighed at his name, and began giggling. Every girl who is old enough to have a crush has one on Finnick Odair. Except me though, I get weird looks when I don't sigh, shriek or flick my hair when he's in a 100 metre radius of me. "This year, bring the stardom back to District 4. We are a Career District! We may not be the Academy, no, but we still have the power to win the Games! Do your duty to your District! Class dismissed"

* * *

I think through his words as I'm walking down to cobbled paths back to my home. The mixture of hot sunlight and salty air is a firm reminder of summer, and I shrug off my jacket and sling it over my shoulder. In front of me I can see two Careers, a boy and a girl. I can tell immediately that they're Careers, the boy is tall, wide shouldered, and extremely muscular, and the girl is lean and toned. District 4 was a Career District by chance; we're not all naturally born fighters like 1 and 2, so we opened a Careers Academy and also kept our normal school open. At the age of 9 you 'audition' for a spot in Career school, my Mother, Father and Sister all went there, and it had turned into almost a rite of passage that I go there too. However, when you're scared of blood and can't stand hurting anyone or anything, it makes matters harder. I wasn't accepted into Career school, and ended up in 4's comprehensive. My family were shocked; my Father was a naturally born spear and trident user, being from a fishing family. My mother looked nothing like a Career, but could still cause critical damage with her knife throws from 50 metres away, and my sister inherited my Mother's talents.

* * *

"Hi Mari," I call as I open the driftwood door. My sister comes running down the stairs at my voice, and her name couldn't fit her better. Her full name is Marissa Cresta, Marissa means 'Princess of the Sea'. Her sandy blonde hair flies behind her as she runs down the stairs, and her sea blue eyes always reminds me of a mermaid.

"Hi Annie, I went to the bakery today and got us a treat!" She smiles. This is my sister's Pre-Reaping tradition, ever since our parents died. My sister only became safe from the Games 3 years ago, and is legitimately too young to look after me, in 4 you're not allowed to have children until the age of 25, and with both our parents dead, my sister is my only family now.

As I follow her through the hall to the kitchen I secretly thank my sister for doing this, as she knows how much I hate Reaping Day. She pulls a small cupcake out of a brown paper bag, and I smile. It's a simple cupcake with green frosting and a small sugar seashell on top. I then feel guilty, this must've cost her a fortune, we're always low on money, and some nights we go without dinner. She cuts the cake in half, and passes me my section.

"Mari, this must've cost you dinner for a week!" I gasp, but her mischievous look makes me decide to not go into details of how she got the money, and I instead begin eating. Dinner passes, and I decide to bathe tonight instead of tomorrow. In the bathroom mirror I look myself up and down. I stick out like a sore thumb in 4, I'm dark haired and pale skinned, and my green eyes resemble the colour of well kept grass as opposed to the traditional lapis blue and emerald green. I'm petite, and quite thin due to the lack of food. I sigh as I run shampoo through my hair, and try to forget that this time tomorrow I could be on a train to the Capitol.

* * *

I don't sleep as usual, and the thick quilts we have on our bed to reduce the risks of hypothermia in the winter are making me sweat. I get out of bed when a soft dawn light begins to glow through the window, and I see my sister has already laid out my outfit- A maroon cotton dress with oversized sleeves, a small sash round the waist and a white frilled collar. Definitely a dress bought before our parents died. I go downstairs, and the wood suddenly feels sharp against my bare feet. My sister is already up and dressed in one of my mother's old Reaping dresses.

"Hey there, Star" She smiles as I pace into the lounge. She has a comb and hair accessories in hand, and is about to prep me for the Reaping.

Star is Mari's pet name for me; it was also used by my Parents and Grandma. My full name was actually Andromeda Cresta, another traditional District 4 name. Andromeda was a goddess thousands upon thousands of years ago in a place named Greece. She was described as beautiful, and later became a star when she died, hence the nickname. It was changed to Annie when I started school, and I never knew why.

She brushes through my hair and uses a pin to keep my fringe away from my face, which makes me feel very exposed. We leave later, hand in hand, towards the Town Square. Mari leaves me at the counter, and wishes me good luck. I have my finger print taken then walk to join my fellow 17 year old's at our roped off area. Our Escort, Chiara Edeson, trots onto the stage in another ridiculous Capitol get-up. Her skin is dyed magenta, with golden flowers tattooed strategically everywhere. She has on a very strange dress, it looks like it's made of plastic and is completely see-through everywhere except places she isn't allowed to show; where it is white, but she still pushes the limits there too. Her hair is now yellow, not blonde, but the colour of a fruit we once had on my Mother's birthday called Bananas. Accompanying her on stage is Mags, an elderly woman who won the Games 40 years ago, and Finnick Odair. He is the centre of attention, as usual, and keeps smiling seductively at random girls in the audience whilst the cameras are trained on him, which seems to be permanently. Chiara gives her usual speech, and asks for volunteers. After Finnick won five years ago, there were 2 volunteers hoping to follow in his footsteps who died almost instantly, diminishing all of our volunteers.

"Very well, then!" Chiara sings in her strange Capitol accent "Let us begin our Reaping! I shall start with our female Tribute!" She places her hand into the bowl, her diamond encrusted nails flickering about for a slip of paper. 7 of those have 'Annie Cresta' on them; it would've been more if Mari threatened to send us both to the orphanage if I signed up for tessarae. Her hand dives in unexpectedly, and I realise I'm sweating, and wringing my hands. I suddenly experience that feeling of 'something bad is going to happen', the same feeling I had when I walked onto the Career auditions, and the same feeling I had when my Parents stepped on their last ever train to District 1.

She unfolds the slip carefully, as if it is a small insect she doesn't want to hurt.

"Annie Cresta!" She trills.

I hear Mari scream from somewhere in the distance, and suddenly every eye is on me, staring me out. It can't be me, they've got it wrong! It must be a different Annie, surely.

'You're the only Annie in District 4, go up there and do your duty to your District!' I suddenly hear Mr Sonesta say sternly in my head. Fine, I'll go up, and wait on the stage until they realise they have the wrong Annie. But despite my plan, my fingers feel like twigs on winter trees, they're shaking shaking shaking, and my knees are locked.

"Well come on up, Annie!" Chiara says, somewhat impatiently. I continue walking, slowly as I can, up to the stage where I'm practically hauled up the steps and straight into the cold, bony hands of Chiara Edeson. I can feel the whole of District 4 watching me intently. I'm the fragile girl, whose Parents is dead and should be in the orphanage, but is instead living with her under age sister, who is forced to occasionally sell her body just for some food.

I glance up and see my sister in hysterics, being comforted by several friends. It's then the realisation sinks in. It is me. Annie Cresta. Not any other Annie, me. And I then can't hold back, and I'm crying. I now feel even more stared out, I know you're not meant to cry at the Reaping at all, but all the pressure only makes it worse, and I'm quietly sobbing, oblivious to any of my surroundings until Chiara says "Seger Chariston!" .

Seger walks on to the stage defiantly, with his head held high, however on closer inspection I can see the fear embedded into his eyes. I think I recognise him, and realise- He is the Career I saw yesterday, walking home from the Academy. I remember the girl with him, and remember how they were holding hands, and I'm crying again. Chiara seems to notice this time and tries to finish her closing speech as soon as possible by just singing "Happy Hunger Games, everybody!" Before rushing us off stage, and I'm grateful, I wouldn't expect somebody from the Capitol to notice another's distress.

* * *

The wooden doors of the Justice Building close, and Seger and I are led into separate rooms. Mine is wallpapered with all of District 4's fish carefully inked and painted on, and the carpet is plush and turquoise, like the sea. This makes my muffled cries become full on tears as I sit on the red futon and bury my face in my hands.

"Two minutes only, miss" I hear a stern voice say from behind the doors,

"How dare you, my Sister is leaving for the Hunger Games tonight, I will stay in there as long as I wish!" I hear Mari screech, I lift my head and run to the door, and swing it open, and Mari falls into my arms, sobbing uncontrollably. I begin doing the same, and we just stand there, giving each other what will probably be our final embrace. Were clinging on even tighter when the Peacekeeper my sister was arguing with notifies her that her time is up.

"She has no other visitors! Only me! Now back off before I get myself in trouble!" Mari screams at him. He backs off, clearly intimidated by her. That's one of my favourite things about my Sister, she reminds me so much of our Mother, who could get anything she wanted by snapping from innocent to deadly. The thought of leaving Mari alone, with nobody left breaks me, and I'm struggling to breathe when Mari gasps "Win, Annie. Promise me you'll try to win, do it for me, for Mama and Dad, please Annie don't die, please! Join the Careers, learn some weapon skills in Training, anything, please, Star!" She begs, and I'm forced to lie to her, something I have never done until now.

"I will win, don't worry about me" I give Mari a weak smile, and she just hugs me again, tighter. The Peacekeeper now has no choice but to haul her out, despite her screams and curses thrown at him. I wait until the door is closed when I really begin crying; heart-wrenching sobs that rake through my body, until I'm left gasping for air. Outside, I can hear the frantic voice of my sister. Positive I'm deluding myself I ignore it, but the conversation in my head is still audible.

"Please, please help her, she doesn't deserve to die, she didn't go Career school! Teach her to throw a knife, wield a sword, and use a Trident, _anything._ Just keep my baby sister alive, please Finnick!" My sister is begging Finnick Odair to keep me alive, and any slither of confidence I had is gone. I hear the murmur of Finnick's voice before I drift away.

The imaginary faces of who my opponents may be flash through my mind, and I see a Career use an axe to chop both arms and legs off of a screaming 12 year old boy before I black out.

* * *

A/n-

I've decided to put any other series I have been doing on hiatus, as I've just about lost all inspiration and willpower to do them, so I've started a fresh with something new! Reviews are appreciated, and I will reply to all of them :)

-G x


	2. Chapter 2

2: Like the Ocean does the Shore.

When my eyes open heavily, the room is blurry. The room is now a mix of colour, the turquoise carpet mixes with the walls to create the illusion of the real Ocean, and for the first time, and probably last time, I feel calm. This beautiful view- the reminder of my home which will soon be torn from me until I return in a coffin, is obstructed by a bronze fuzz, towering over me. I blink a few times and unwillingly let my vision refocus itself. The bronze fuzz I could see was Finnick Odair, looking down at me in a way so concerned he could've known me my whole life. When he sees I'm awake his face switches automatically to the seductive smirk I have seen him use so many times before to so many people.

"Well, good morning, Sleeping Beauty!" He smiles at me, lifting me to my feet. Why is he being so nice to me? I'll be dead by the end of the week. His flirty remark leaves me blushing though, and unfortunate feature I've donned since before I can remember.

"I'm sorry," I mumble apologetically, staring at the carpet. My eyes are stinging and sore where I've cried so much. The last time I did that was when I found out Mari was selling her body to get me a Birthday gift. Finnick pushes a loose strand from my pinned back fringe behind my ear, and whispers in my ear

"There's nothing to be sorry about". I smile weakly at the floor and realise how rude I am being, if there is one thing my Mother wanted everyone to have, it was etiquette. I look up, and he is looking me straight through the eye, as if my whole life story is embedded in my pupils, and he's enjoying the read.

"I'm sorry, I'm being rude" I say, breaking his stare ever so slightly. "My name is Annie" I sigh. Not in a way that suggests I am head over heels in love with him, but the way I have always said my name; a real, deep sigh. It comes across almost apologetic even to myself at times, and I can understand why I am apologising for who I am- the weak, cowardly, fragile girl who has no real friends and is living in poverty. I am the oil leak in the perfect sea. Finnick looks confused; only for a millisecond before regaining composure, but I still see it.

"As you know, obviously, I am Finnick Odair," He says. Arrogance is the first trait that comes to mind, then envy. He says his name with such pride, as if he's happy with whom he is. Suddenly I'm pushed for a reply, and my Mother's saying of "Manners are the ability to put someone else at their ease...by turning any answer into another question." Inhabits my mind, and I have no choice but to reply with a question.

"Well, how couldn't I know who you are, your entourage trails 50 metres behind you, I don't know how you stand it" Oh no. I was not meant to say that, not at all. I probably look as rude as the Victors from District 2, this is bad.

Finnick laughs, which takes me by surprise. The laugh is short and clean, but still genuine. He's looking at me questioning me, as if he's trying to find the page of my story he lost.

"You talk very quietly," He declares. It's true, my voice is merely above a whisper usually, and a mumble at best when I'm in social situations. Even around Mari she struggles to hear what I am saying sometimes. I look back down and the floor and begin chewing my bottom lip, waiting for him to either say something or leave.

"Come on, the train's here, we'll be leaving soon" He says, that's another thing I was too busy crying about to take into account; my huge fear of trains. Finnick has already turned on his heel and is leaving, expecting me to follow. I close my eyes momentarily and inhale deeply, and follow him. _Just relax, Annie. _I think. _Trains are harmless. This is a Capitol train, nothing will happen. _I replay the last sentence over and over in Mayor Leith's car to the station. I suddenly notice that he wasn't at the Reaping, and Chiara had to do his Dark Days speech. Strange, the Mayor is always at the Reaping.

We reach the station, and my heartbeat picks up at an alarming rate. I begin hyperventilating when I see the train; so painfully similar to the one that went to District 1. I feel a small hand on my shoulder and see Mags, her wrinkled face sympathetic, looking at me. Mags knew my Parents and Grandparents, and must know what happened. She carefully helps direct me in the direction of the train which is now already occupying Chiara, Finnick and Seger.

"I can't" I choke, tears welling in my eyes. I can feel those awful mental images beginning to rise, the ones I always have in nightmares, and panic attacks. I'm too het up to resist though, and the horrific scenes have occupied my mind.

* * *

"Now Annie, darling" My Mother says, with both hands on my tear-streaked cheeks

"Your Father and I are going to be gone for three days." I sniff. I don't want them to leave; I have a feeling something terrible is going to happen. "Marissa is in charge at all times, do whatever she says, and don't misbehave" I've no idea why Mama is saying that, I won't misbehave in a million years. "I have left you both enough bread for while we're gone, and money." She pats me cheek once and pulls me into a hug. I hug her tightly, and I don't want to let her go.

"We will have a telephone on the train and in District 1," My Father begins "So any problems, Mari will phone us. It's only three days, little Star, we have the rest of our lives left" He reassures me. Mari has already been given this speech, but as I'm younger, they're giving it to me slightly differently.

"Bye, Mama. Bye, Dad. See you on Thursday" I say, my eyes filling with tears. They're probably sick of it now, my crying. I haven't stopped today, I'm so scared.

My Mother and Father are on the train to District 1. They are sitting at a white table, eating food.

"Do you know where we are, Caspian?" My Mother asks, biting into a strawberry.

"Yes, darling, we've just passed District 2, shouldn't be long now." He says, taking my Mother's hand in his. She grimaces for a moment, and then reassembles her composed expression.

"Do you smell that? It smells like burning," She asks, looking around for a source of the smell. My father nods, and also looks suspiciously around the cabin.

An intercom sounds, the Capitol man's voice sounding very concerned

"Dear passengers, this train is experiencing engine fault. We urge you to take your nearest emergency exit out of the train, and bring your belongings. The Capitol apologises for any inconvenience caused."

My Father gasps and my Mother cries out, they rise immediately, and run around their cabin, looking for an emergency exit. There is none, and my Father is frantically trying to open the door to the next cabin when a siren begins wailing. My Mother is crying, beating her fists against the window in a bid to smash it, with no such luck. Father strides over, takes her hands in his, and sits her down on the floor in the middle of the cabin. He sits with her, and she his crying into his shoulder. The smell is intoxicating now, and they begin coughing.

"Meredith, listen to me." Father is holding my Mother by her shoulders, staring into her eyes, she looks at him and he carries on. "Does Marissa know where the key to the family safe is?" My Mother nods, and then begins hysterically crying. "Caspian," she wails.

"No, don't cry, don't be upset, our Angels will have to become independent one day, and that day has come sooner than we would've thought. Marissa is responsible and a fighter, she won't let her or Annie die. They'll live without us; never in a million years will Mari take them to the orphanage ok? The day they both began to talk I saw how much they resemble you, you are my Wife, my beautiful, beautiful Wife, and I love you. More than the sea does the shore." He says his voice breaking.

"More than the sea does the shore" My Mother whispers. My Father begins singing the poem that District 4 uses at weddings.

"Our love, like an ocean,  
Our smiles,  
Heart to heart  
Our every breath  
For each other  
Together in our ocean of love  
Old together we will grow  
Two bodies  
Sharing the same heartbeat  
We live inside each other  
Our love never to be old...ever  
Will remain like the first day  
Unique in every way

Our every thought  
For each other  
None can compare  
To our ocean of love  
None can come between  
For we have true love  
One soul  
One body  
In our ocean of love  
Together  
Undisturbed"

My Mother joins in as he repeats it, and as they whisper the last line, the explosion rips through the train, their bodies, and their lives.

* * *

I come back to my senses screaming and sweating. I am on a bed much too comfortable to be mine, and Mags is clutching her hand in mine, looking distressed. Finnick is in the doorway, watching me intently, waves of anxiousness radiating off of him. I gasp, my hand clapping to my mouth.

"Oh my gosh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to go off on one like that, I can't believe I did that!" I gush, heavily embarrassed I've had to been babied twice in a day by my Mentors.

"Don't apologise, Child" Mags coos "I know what happened with your Parents," She strokes my hand and rises off the side of my bed. I'm still in my Reaping dress, and would do anything to get out of it. I rise abruptly with her. "I need to change" I explain before she can question me.

"Dinner is in the Dining Cart" She says, before leaving the room. Finnick remains in the doorway still, watching my every move.

"I'm ok, I just,"

"Don't like trains" He finishes for me. He smiles, and I feel reassured. This smile is different to his usual seductive one, it's empathetic and sweet, and it suits him a lot better. I smile back at him, and turn to the bathroom, grabbing some clothes out the dresser. I change into them, a white shirt with a black ribbon round the neck, and a grey skirt. Finnick is still there when I emerge, in the same position.

"You look nice. If this is Dinner, I can't wait for the interviews" He winks at me. I laugh, I don't think he realises I don't love him. He has also changed clothes since the Reaping. He's no longer in the same, emerald shirt he was wearing earlier, this one is white, and completely unbuttoned, and he is wearing knee-length shorts. He offers his arm out to me. I hesitate at first, then take it. We walk down the corridor in a comfortable quiet, until he speaks.

"There's something strange about you, Annie Cresta" He says matter-of-factly

"Maybe the fact I look more like somebody from District 7, have the health of someone from District 12, and have blacked out twice in one day. Yeah, I'm not the stereotypical Tribute" I point out. He laughs again, and I struggle to realise what he finds so amusing.

"You're different, looks wise, sure. But the way you present yourself. When you told me your name, you almost looked compunctious to say it, as if you're apologetic for being you." He says quietly. He noticed then. I feel a blush creeping to my cheeks.

"Why would I be proud? I'm the weakest Tribute you've probably ever mentored." I mumble.

Finnick stops, and looks me in the eye again, just as he did earlier.

"You would be proud because I think, no, I_ know_ that you're a lot stronger than you think you are, Annie Cresta."

"And what makes you believe that?" I tease him

"I'm Finnick Odair, my dear tribute, I _never_ get things wrong" He states, before flashing me one of his full blown Finnick smiles, teeth showing and all. I laugh at him this time, and we continue walk down the corridor to dinner.

* * *

A/n- Hi guys! So this is the long, boring chapter, but please bear with me, I just needed to get the story of Annie' Parents and the transition to the train out the way so I can focus on her journey to the Capitol from now on! This chapter came quicker than I thought, so that's good I guess! If you liked the story you can follow it so you know when new chapters are out, and reviews are appreciated, I will reply to all of them via PM. Favourite the series if you want too, yada yada yada.

So, I apologise for the rambling backstories chapter, thing will be interesting again, promise!

-G x


	3. Chapter 3

A/n- I'm sorry I have to write this at the start! It's 11PM in England right now and I just got back from the cinema seeing Catching Fire. Oh. My. God. It was absolutely MAGNIFICENT. Guys, Francis Lawrence is pure genius, everything is great down to a T. I love Johanna in it, especially in her Capitol interview I laughed so hard, but I won't be a movie spoiler and say what she did! When the casting list came through I was so, so, so disappointed in Sam Claflin's role as Finnick... Mostly because of looks, but also because I wasn't keen on his performance in Snow White and the Huntsman. _But_, I must say, he is a _very_ talented actor; mostly in the action parts, the seductive Finnick was rather mediocre on Hunger Games standards but great all the same. The ending was brilliant. There is swearing in this which I like, it shows a different side of Katniss, especially at the end! All in all it was perfect, those are my little nags, but guys, if you haven't booked tickets yet (why wouldn't you?!) Do it. Now. Seriously, for your own personal happiness. It made my YEAR.

Ok so enough movie rambles, here's this chapter! Enjoy!

* * *

3: Motives

Dinner is an awkward affair. Finnick and I enter last; everybody is already seated, including a male and female I don't know. Chiara shoots us a disapproving look, and Finnick winks at her. She giggles and looks down, and it makes me question her motive behind the see-through dress. He has her wrapped around his finger, along with everybody else in the Capitol.

I try to pull out the very extravagant dining chair as quietly as I can, but it scrapes along the wooden floorboards, creating an awful screech. Everybody looks at me; I blush and sit down, wondering if I can possibly make a bigger fool of myself. I hear Chiara mutter something along the lines of "Those floorboards are mahogany. Effie would go ballistic". Effie Trinket is the Escort of District 12, and her get ups are nearly as ridiculous as Chiara's.

Mags attempts small talk several times, which dwindles out like a weak candle flame in the wind. I can't bring myself to eat, partly for fear of it all coming back up, but mostly because I feel angry, furious even, at the Capitol. They can give us all of this exquisite food, most of which I've never seen, in such large quantities which will undoubtedly be put to waste- but they cannot give the Districts in poverty even a half decent tessarae? I pick disgustedly at the cheapest thing I can find, a small bread roll, but even that is the quality of 4's best baker. Mags seems to notice I'm not eating, and I can feel her looking at me worriedly all the way through dinner.

"You must eat, child. You're thin as a length of rope" she says gently. I look up at her apologetically, and subtly gesture at all the plates of food and make a money sign then a vomit gesture with my fingers. I hear Finnick smirk, and he is watching me and Mags. I look down again, I must look so stupid. I've gone from being weak and scared to defiant. I wonder if I have an emotional problem.

"I'm not very hungry, I'm sorry." I murmur as I stand up, being sure not to scrape the floor. I nod to everybody and leave. I wander down the hall, discovering all kinds of rooms, bathrooms and cupboards.

* * *

I trudge into my room and fling open the window, sticking my head out of it. The gale is so strong it threatens to wipe my face away. I grip the window sill and lean out farther. It is exhilarating, as if all my worries are being picked up and whisked away, and very cool. My face turns numb and my hair whips around me, and on the horizon I see the lights of what must be District 3 glowing in the twilight. The wind begins to develop a very static feel to it, and I remember- District 3 is the Capitol's technology supplier. We are very close for Districts, and sometimes on clear, summer nights you can faintly see the lights shimmering. It's beautiful.

"Be careful, Sleeping Beauty, if the wind changes direction your face will be stuck like that forever." I nearly, jump out of my skin, Finnick is standing merely inches from me, and how did he get in without me noticing?! His breath feels very warm against my frozen neck, and I slowly ease back into the room.

"You scared me" I state, placing my hand over my heart. He smiles at me, his green eyes swallowing me up in folds of emerald and summer leaves. I realise he must be subtly reminding me of how awful I must look; I probably look as if I've been dragged backwards through a hedge.

"Oh, god. I must look so strange" I say worriedly. I go to the mirror on the vanity in the corner of the room, and my fears were correct. My hair is matted and wild, and the hair pin that was holding back my fringe is long gone, so it hangs down raggedly over my face. I gasp at my reflection, and notice Finnick out the corner of the mirror, watching me.

"You don't look strange" He says "You just look... Eccentric" He decides. I laugh at his poor attempt to make me feel better before realising it actually worked, because I'm laughing.

"I bet the fabulous Finnick Odair _never _looks eccentric" I smirk as I tug a comb through my hair. I feel strange, I haven't even known him for a day and yet I am already having a full, normal conversation with him, something that only happened with Mari back home.

Finnick winks at me and says "Finnick Odair doesn't look fabulous, my dear. Finnick Odair looks _flawless!_" I roll my eyes at him, and become even more surprised. I'm not confident; I don't roll my eyes at people. How is Finnick Odair doing this? How is he coaxing a strange alternate me out into existence? I decide to try ceasing the conversation, but Finnick seems to have other ideas.

"You never ate" He says. Yes, I never ate, because the sheer amount and quality of food was overwhelming and horrifying. He walks over towards the door, and I feel quite relived that he is leaving until he reaches for the phone, mounted on the wall next to the doorframe.

"Room service for Annie Cresta please" He purrs down the phone. Honestly, he will flirt with anything he can!

"Anything from District 4 will be perfect, thank you." He ends, placing the phone back on the wall. I sit on the edge of the bed and begin fiddling with the hem of my shirt, running it between my fingers, lightly tugging it and twisting it. Finnick sits beside me, and I feel him watching me until I look up.

"Yes?" I ask him, still not fully understanding why he has not left yet.

"Well, you can't expect me to order some of my favourite foods from home and just leave, my dear. This is District 4 cuisine at its finest!" He sings, almost as if he is advertising it.

"I'm sorry, Finnick, but right now 'District 4 cuisine at its finest' is not at the top of my mind" I say quietly, the back of my eyes and nose stinging where I'm refusing to let tears flow. Finnick slides closer to me on the bed and takes my face in his hands. I freeze, momentarily paralyzed from the warmth of his large hands against my still numb face.

"Annie Cresta, your sister came to see me earlier today," He says. Oh, so it wasn't a hallucination, my own sister doesn't believe I can win. "And I promised her; I swore on my own life, that I would try to get you out of the arena alive. Not just for her, but for you too. You aren't like other tributes- you seem more normal, more likeable. But, in order for me to get you out of there alive, I need you to cooperate. I can't get you to win this alone, got that?" He tells me. It hurts to say he is right, I do need to cooperate, and my attitude right now is not promoting that.

"I'm sorry" I say, red cheeked and embarrassed at my fall back to reality

"Don't apologise; you do it too much," He tells me softly "How about a smile?" He grins. I manage to tug the corners of my lips up, but no more. He laughs at my careless attempt, which in turn makes me begin laughing too. It must be contagious of something.

"Finnick?" I ask after my laughter calms down

"Yes, dear Tribute?" He says openly

"Why are you being so nice to me? I'm going to die soon" I murmur sadly.

Finnick stares at me with his brows furrowed. Even he doesn't know why. 'Maybe I'm too likeable' I think grimly.

"Because I'm your Mentor, darling. It's my job, I hate you really" He winks. I laugh slightly, and then sigh. Why isn't he giving me an honest answer?

"You're not even my Mentor, Mags is" I point out exasperatedly, he looks slyly at me.

"Oh, this year there has been a few changes. Mags is mentoring his highness Chariston. You are lucky enough to be Mentored by me," He says happily, as if I've just won the prize draw the Mayor does every year, where the winner gets given a year's worth of bakery produce for free. Why is he mentoring me? Surely he would want Seger over me? Sure, he's quiet, stuck up and arrogant, but he's a Career, he looks nearly as strong as Finnick. Mags always ends up getting the weaker Tribute.

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"You know what Finnick. Don't lie. Seger is so much stronger and confident than I am, why would you personally choose somebody who will die? How could you put yourself through that?" I cry, tears threatening to overspill my eyes. Finnick sighs, as if this is a question he gets asked hourly and is sick of answering, and is about to respond when a young Avox girl, no older than me, knocks at the door and walks in with a large tray holding some agonisingly familiar food. She smiles politely, and places it on the table, she leaves as quickly as she came, bowing quickly at Finnick.

"Come on Sleeping Beauty, eat up, I ordered this specially" He smiles. I can't help it, I have to eat. It's as if the shellfish and the green flecks in the bread are practically screaming my name. I take some bread, fruit and several seafood dishes and perch on the edge of the table. I look up to find Finnick watching me, again. I scoop some up some paella from my plate and taste it.

"My sister makes the world's best paella" I blurt out without thinking.

"Is that so? Well, when we're both back home I'll be the judge of that!" He smiles. Yeah, I'll come home... In a coffin.

"Seriously, this stuff is like the oysters from Ernest's stall compared to her paella!" I exclaim. Finnick groans

"Not Ernest's oysters! Mags sent me out a few weeks ago to get oysters for her chowder, but I went to Ernest's stall instead of the Fishmonger's, we had food poisoning for a week, she nearly killed me!" He laughs. I join him. One time Mari bought Mama some oysters from there by accident, I went off of chowder for years. Ernest is an old, sketchy man with only one arm who sells very bad quality seafood. He walks to shoreline finding dead, or barely living, sea creatures and claiming them fresh. I have no idea how the Peacekeepers haven't shut him down yet. I carry on eating, but find the paella only makes me feel homesick. I try some fish pie, but after getting a small one lodged in my throat I stop eating that too. I end up with just bread and honey, and Finnick cleans up my leftovers effortlessly, I wonder how he eats so much. We make little effort to talk, as the silence is comfortable. I pick at fruit, strawberries and apples, several I've never seen, when I see a banana. The fruit we had on my Mother's birthday, Chiara's hair colour, and the last fruit I ate before she died. Before I know it I'm crying quietly, but Finnick still notices, he comes and sits at the edge of the table with me and holds my hand. It's comforting and I soon stop.

"Want to talk about it?" He asks softly. I shake my head, I don't feel like talking.

Suddenly the door flies open, and a furious looking Seger is striding through. Finnick jumps up, defences on in a flash, and blocks his way.

"Decided to make an appearance then, you're Highness?" He says coolly. Seger glares at him and looks over at me.

"I need to talk to Annie" He states matter-of-factly. His voice is very smooth and deep, and doesn't fit his appearance very well. I stand up and slide around Finnick, too preoccupied scowling at Seger to notice me. I follow him through the train, and we end up in a spare lounge, filled with velvet purple seats and crystal and glass accessories everywhere.

He sits in one of the armchairs, and signals to the one opposite him. I sink into it, and he begins talking.

"I was just talking to Mags about the arena," He starts "She wants us both to join the Careers. I don't want to. I'd rather die in the bloodbath than ally with that scum" He says darkly. I look up at him; he's watching me evenly, waiting for a reply. I nod, I agree with him totally. "She says it's 'The best thing to do'. Sure, it gets us supplies for a while, decent weapons, hell; we could even get rid of half the others at the bloodbath. But what're gonna do when we wake up and the other has a slit throat? I've watched the Games every year, like you, and every year we join the Careers and die." He is still scowling; I think I know where he's going.

"What are you suggesting?" I ask

"I'm suggesting we go on our own, we go to the Cornucopia as if we're allying with them, and then run. We can hide out, maybe pick off a few others while we wait, then we take them out." He says simply.

"It's very risky. They'll be furious when they find out we've been playing them. I'm a terrible liar and I can't fight. You're a Career, you'd do better without me" I sigh

"I'm not a Career. I won't ever be either. I didn't want to go to that wretched school, I wasn't going to, and then my brother was reaped." I gasp as I remember Irving Chariston, the 18 year old Fisherman's boy who was killed when one of the Careers threw an axe at his head whilst he was collecting water. District 4 was outraged, Irving was so popular in the District, and he was kind, funny, and a very good fisher.

"Irving! Oh, Seger, I'm so sorry!" I say, my eyes swimming. He smiles slightly at me.

"Don't worry about it, he's the reason I joined that awful school." He says. Of course, if your brother is killed sadistically by his own allies, you'd want to be on high defence.

"Seger, I'm sorry for saying this, but I think it's best if we join the Careers, just for a little while" I plead "It's the only way to survive"

Seger looks tiredly at me and stands up.

"We'll discuss this closer to the Games" he decides as he walks tensely out of the room.

* * *

"What did he want?" Finnick asks the moment he sees me.

"Talking about the Careers," I say sadly

"Stupid boy," He tuts, shaking his head. I yawn slightly, and he looks up.

"Get to bed, Sleeping Beauty. We'll be in the Capitol tomorrow." He smiles. "Sleep well, don't stay up too late thinking about me" He winks. I laugh at his arrogance as he leaves back to his room.


	4. Chapter 4

4: Preperations

"Yes, keep going!" Chiara's bony hand is on the small of my back, guiding me through corridor after corridor. She stops several times to accept compliments on her appearance, I'm not sure why. Today she looks like a doll; her lips are drawn on into a bright pink pout, her surgically enhanced eyes make her look constantly surprised and she's wearing a powder pink wig. Her clothing consists of a huge frilly petticoat dress making her look like an upside down cupcake case, and is embroidered with hundreds of silk roses. Eventually we reach a door, which she flings open and practically shoves be through. The room is very large and long, white tiles coat the ceiling, floor and walls and bright lights beam down. There is 4 chairs for every tribute and their prep team, and each station is separated by a curtain. Chiara ushers me along to the seventh section and motions for me to sit in one of the chairs. Three atrocious looking Capitol people run excitedly in and embrace Chiara, squealing.

"Annie, this is Olia," She gestures to a young woman with metallic silver skin and blue hair, who smiles excitedly "Joilean," A middle aged man with tightly pulled back snow white skin, green lips and black, incredibly gelled back hair. He is looking me seriously up and down, as if examining a precious artefact "and Astreis!" A very short woman whose orange skin is tattooed with black and white stripes, she smiles just as Olia did.

"They're your prep team! They will make you look _fabulous _for the chariots tonight!" She sings before trotting from the station. The next few minutes are a blur of poking, sighing and remarks. Olia runs her hand across my cheek while sighing, "Oh dear, look at these acne scars!" I feel very self conscious; I had very bad acne as a young teenager.

"Olia, stop fussing, we can cover those up easily, she is the perfect canvas once we sort these eyebrows out!" Astreis trills, patting the other side of my face. Joilean is running his hands through my hair, grinning smugly at it and murmuring something that includes "princess".

"Well come on, sweetie!" Olia says, I cock my head to the side slightly, unsure what she wants. "Take your clothes off so we can get started!" Take my clothes off? Astreis hands me a white robe thankfully, which I craftily use to conceal myself as I take my clothes off. They lead me through to a room with a bath, table and countless bottles and products. The bath is already filled and the pink bubbles emit a very sickly sweet odour. I am ushered in, and they begin scrubbing me down until my skin feels raw. They tug me out and make me lay on the table, where they begin spreading a warm gel over my legs, armpits, eyebrows and privates. I feel very insecure and uncomfortable as they touch intimate parts of my body. Joilean coos "Gorgeous figure, fabulous, darling" several times and Astreis begins applying paper-type strips all over the gelled areas. Olia and Joilean wander off into the corner, arranging products, leaving the room several times, and debating over what colour lipstick I should wear.

* * *

_Rip! _I gasp in pain as Astreis aggressively pulling the paper off of my body, and making sounds of satisfaction when she sees all my hair follicles on the strip. I didn't think, being naked, I could feel more bare, but stripped of body hair I feel even more exposed. I notice somebody has run me another bath in the meantime. And I'm pushed back in. This one has a sap green tint to it, and is very soothing against the hairless skin. Two hair washes, another bath and skin perfection later, the prep team gather together and look happily at the outcome. Olia and Astreis leave, but Joilean stays as the unknown woman from the dinner table yesterday waltz's in.

"Don't you strain yourself Joilean, go find the other stylists" She says, Joilean happily leaves and she approaches me. She doesn't have a Capitol accent, which I like, and she isn't too dramatically dressed for Capitol standards. Her skin is a lovely coffee colour, and her cherry purple hair is piled into a strange intricate shape on the top of her head. She is wearing a large amount of eyeliner, and has on a blue leathery dress. She kicks off her very large hills and embraces me.

"Hey there honey, I'm Briana; your stylist" She smiles. Last year the stylist put the Tributes in these awful mermaid assembles, with grotesque scales glued to their faces. I grimace at the memory and she laughs sweetly.

"No, I'm new, don't you worry," She reassures me, obviously realising what I was thinking. I decide I like her, she seems very genuine, and un-Capitol. She doesn't seem very bothered about how I look either, which is nice.

"Annie, tell me, out of the fish, the sea, the beach or the mythology, what do you love the most about home?" The question strikes me by surprise for a moment, and then I feel quite serene as I try to decide what I miss the most. Mari is the thing I miss the most, but then it has to be the sea.

"The sea," I say quietly

"The sea" She repeats, "Ok, great, perfect." She presses a watch on her wrist and says "Sea" into it, and turns her attention back to me.

"Now, what do you think of this?"

* * *

I approach Seger at our chariot, and for the first time in so long, I feel beautiful. Briana is a genius, as walk I look like the waves themselves, the blue, green and silver silk ripples with every step and looks like the waves rolling on to the shore. My makeup is dominantly blue, and sparkles like the sea does in the sunlight. Seger is wearing similar attire, the same headdress and a shirt and trousers which have the same ripple quality. Even in such beautiful attire, he still looks deadly. I approach him with a smile and he returns it. His blonde hair is flecked with glitter as mine is, which I notice.

"You look great," He says to me genuinely

"Thank you Seger, so do you" I say

"Well, time to put on our fake smiles and waves" He mutters darkly, and friendliness long gone. I smile sadly at him, as I can't think of any words.

"You look stunning" A whisper in my ear says seductively- Finnick. I turn around and see him grinning at me, Mags at his side with her hand in Seger's.

"Almost as stunning as the great Finnick Odair," I taunt. He winks at me and holds something out to me.

"Sugar cube?" He purrs, the cube in between his thumb and index finger. I shake my head so he pops it in his mouth.

"Aren't those for the horses?" I ask quizzically

"Why yes, they are" He says mischievously.

"Well who cares? They've got years to eat sugar, whereas I... well, if I see something sweet I better grab it quick. I'll have one," Finnick laughs loudly at me, truly amused by my remark, then handing me a cube.

"I'll have to use that in the future" He says, still laughing. I smile, glad he's genuinely amused. A beep sounds, and he helps me into our chariot. Seger climbs in easily, and we stand side by side, ready to go.

"Now remember, you two" Mags says, "Smile, wave, you're getting sponsors for this, enjoy the moment." She smiles soothingly at us both, and Finnick winks at me, and then were heading out of the Remake Centre, and onto the streets of the Capitol. The reaction is astonishing, so is the light. I hear screams of 'District 4!' everywhere and I smile and wave at everybody. Seger however, is doing the polar opposite. He's staring straight ahead, and glancing at the Capitol citizens screaming his name as if they're a piece of dirt on his elaborate sandals. I look worriedly at him, and he meets my gaze momentarily before I turn my attention back to the crowd. The chariots stop, and Seger looks dangerously at the President on his balcony. He examines all of us with his snakelike eyes, and if looks could kill, at least 100 bullets would have been shot through his heart by Seger by now. The chariots turn and return back to the Remake Centre, I continue waving and smiling politely to the crowd, and Seger's eyes look even more on fire than before, ignited by the presence of Snow.

"Finnick, Mags, Briana and Seger's stylist are waiting for us as we re-enter the Centre, and I'm helped back down.

"Annie that was very good dear" Mags says kindly, Briana winks at me and Finnick mouths 'amazing'. "Seger..." She sighs

"You were absolutely shit" Says Finnick bluntly. Seger glares at him and he shrugs.

"It's true, I can only help you so much, Chariston. We get you more money from sponsors, but if you act like an arrogant twat, we're out of resources." Mags hisses at him, and jabs him in the arm for his language. Seger looks furious, but stays silent. The atmosphere becomes very awkward, and Briana takes my arm and leads me a few metres away.

"You looked beautiful, honey. Sponsors will be piling in by the hundreds!" She says excitedly, I feel very relieved I met the expectations, even if Seger didn't. She glances over and smiles as a slightly agitated looking Finnick comes over to us, leaving Mags and Seger arguing by the chariot.

"Idiot" He mutters as he joins us "Briana that was brilliant, I can definitely work with these sponsors" He says, kissing her on the cheek. "And you," He says turning to me "Was a star" He smiles, pulling me into a hug. He's very large and warm, and it feels nice having a pair of strong arms round me. Mags and Seger begin heading back towards District 11's chariot, and I decide to follow. I'm just leaving when I trip over, and nearly fall onto my face. I silently thank Briana for putting me in flat sandals instead of heels. I'm caught by a steady arm, and I recognise Blight, one of District 7's victors, lifting me back up.

"I'm sorry!" I say frantically

"Don't worry about it, four. Two likes to play dirty" He says darkly. So I didn't trip, I was tripped by someone from two. He looks over my shoulder and I turn also, to see Finnick approaching Brutus, District 2's mentor, and pinning him against a wall and sneering at him. I go to break them apart when Blight holds my wrist.

"Don't," He seems quite amused "Odair's been waiting years to be able to do that to him."

"Thank you for catching me Blight" I smile apologetically at him, before continuing to Mags and Seger.

Mags introduces me to Chaff, a very stocky man with one hand missing, and Seeder, a middle aged woman with short hair and a kind smile. District 12's Mentor, Haymitch Abernathy; a permanently drunk, cranky man wanders over and engages in conversation with Chaff.

"Pretty one you got there, Mags," Haymitch gestures to me. "Could be the next Odair if she wins" He mutters grimly. Mags looks very sad for a second, and regains composure. Finnick joins us soon after, still looking angry from his attack on Brutus. He nods at Haymitch, Chaff and Seeder.

"I need to go" He says, exchanging a look Chaff, Seeder, Haymitch and Mags.

"Where?" I ask

"Capitol business" He smiles "Nothing for you to worry about".

* * *

Chiara and the prep team meet us back at the penthouse, squealing about our outfits and performance. The penthouse is beautiful, fresh flowers are everywhere; and blue plush furniture litters the main room. Mags shows Seger and me to our rooms, and I suddenly feel exhausted. I go into my bathroom, and look dumbfounded at the buttons in my shower. I manage to turn it on and a relaxing warm jet of water comes out. I see one button that is labelled 'D4', District 4? I press it and find I was right; the water begins smelling like home. The salt from the ocean and the freshness of the sea breeze begin protruding through, and even the steam turns more humid. I feel at home. I stand in the water for what feels like forever until I get out and wrap a towel around my dripping hair and a robe around my body. All of my makeup has washed away, and I feel like Annie again. Any tiredness I had earlier has vanished, and I feel restless. I go into the sitting room and watch the reruns of the chariot rides. Some outfits are beautiful; District 1 are wearing gorgeous outfits embellished with all sorts of jewels, Seger and I look stunning too, with our sparkling hair, skin and outfits glittering like the waves. District 7 are practically naked, with green and purple bark shapes painted carefully all over them. Some stylists are still unable to cover the gaunt, wasted bodies of their Tributes; District 12's miner's outfits are baggy and hang off their skinny shoulders. I nestle down into the sofa as Caesar Flickerman and Claudius Templesmith discuss this year's Tributes- the muscular boy from 1, who I learn is called Cartier, is a favourite along with the boy from two, called Aziah and the girl who tripped me, Estella, Seger and the boy from 7, Jotham. I'm surprised the girl from one, Lucienne isn't on there. But not at all that I'm not.

I stay up watching stupid Capitol programmes, replays of the Reapings and more highlights so far until it's the early hours of the morning. My eyes are heavy when I hear the door click softly open, and Finnick walks through. He looks rugged, his hair dishevelled and clothes scruffy. He sees the light of the TV and comes over. He looks surprised when he sees me on the chair, and sits next to me.

"Couldn't sleep?" He asks quietly

"No," I say sleepily "I'm worried about training" I admit.

"Don't worry, I can tell you're going to do great" He says

"But I don't know what to do, where to go" I say, it comes out whiney, and Finnick laughs.

"Don't give anything away to the Careers, start where you're comfortable" He begins.

"Finnick, I have nothing _to_ give away!"

"Knives are easy if you have a half decent aim. Did your family go to the Academy?" I nod slowly.

"What did they do?" I pause; they could do just about everything.

"My father threw spears and tridents, my mother and sister used knives" I say sadly

"See! It's in your blood," He says, satisfied he's found my 'talent'.

"That isn't the problem, Finnick. I'm scared of blood, I'm scared of hurting people, I can't do it, I just can't!" I cry, tears welling.

"Hey, hey, calm down" He soothes, holding my hand. "Don't think of it as a person then, what do you hate the most?" He asks, pushing the hair that's fallen from the towel out of my face and looking into my eyes, reading the book again.

"The Capitol" I decide

"Then pretend it's a button that will blow the Capitol up,"

"But that would hurt people,"

"Then a button that elects a new President, who stops the Games, and poverty in the Districts"

I smile slightly and nod. He's analyzing me carefully, as if he's trying to work something else.

"You're not like anybody I've ever met before, Annie... You're so pure, so innocent. Not many people are like that,"

"Is that a good thing?" I ask

"It's a great thing, darling" He smiles at me.

"I'm tired" I sigh

"Then time for bed," He decides

I look at his face more closely. He's still smiling, but his eyes are sad, and he looks more tired than me. We rise and begin pace slowly towards our rooms.

"You must be exhausted, you've been out all night" I express.

"Yeah, I'm about to pass out" He jokes.

"Seriously, where were you?"

Were outside my door now, and he's leaning on the handle, ready to open it.

"Somewhere I'll make sure you'll never, _ever _be"

* * *

A/n- I don't know how, but I'm going to challenge myself to get another chapter out tomorrow! Tomorrow is training time, Annie and Seger meet the other Careers ect, ect. I'm trying to plan the Arena, I feel like Seneca Crane, except Im (hopefully) not going to die within a few weeks! Any ideas on what you'd like to see for the arena PM me or Review with it in!

As always thanks for supporting the story so far, I hope you enjoyed this chapter!

-G :)


	5. Chapter 5

5: Alliances

"Somewhere I'll never ever be" What does that mean?

I try to think over his words as I toss and turn in bed, where could he be where I won't? Maybe he's suggesting I'm going to die? No, surely not, he's my Mentor. After a while of thinking I give up and push it to the back of my mind along with all my other worries.

* * *

I must fall asleep sooner or later, because I'm back at home. I'm standing on the cliff that overlooks the beach, the long grass and flowers brushing against my thighs. Mari is with me, and we're just standing there, hand in hand, watching the ocean. We aren't even talking.

"Mari?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you think I'll come home?"

Mari doesn't reply, staring thoughtfully out at the high tide, the sailboats bobbing on the waves, and the water crashing into the rock face.

"You already are" She says, barely audible. The breeze makes her hair fly behind her, and she looks how imagined Amphrite, the ancient goddess of the sea to look like.

"No I'm not, this is only a dream Mari, what's going to happen to you when you see me dead in a coffin?" I say desperately. Mari turns her attention to me, and cups my cheeks in her hands.

"You're always home, in here" She presses one hand down to me heart, and I smile slightly. She's right, physically, I'm not with her, but mentally, I always will be. Suddenly her eyes glaze over, becoming foggy and possessed looking. She steps back from me, and takes a step towards the cliff edge.

"Mari?"

Two steps

"Mari, what are you doing?"

Three steps

"Mari, don't go over there!"

Four steps

"Mari stop it!"

I'm running to her. Six steps

"Mari, no!"

Seven steps

"MARI! STOP!"

Eight steps

"MARI!"

Nine steps

"_NO!"_

My hand just misses hers as she steps off the cliff, and tumbles down, down, down into the water.

* * *

I wake up screaming her name, a cold sweat running all over me. The blanket is on the floor where I've thrashed around so much. I exhale tiredly and fall back onto the pillow. Thankfully, no one seems to have noticed my screaming, so I sit up and lean against the backboard. I sit there for a few minutes, staring into the dawn light, until I become restless. I get up, and pull a robe around the ridiculously flimsy nightdress the Capitol have supplied, and pull out the top drawer of the dresser. Inside in my Reaping outfit, I take it out and gently pull off the sash. I turn it inside out and hope it contains the thing I need. I smile when I see the end of the rope, poking through the carefully disguised pocket in the sash. I silently thank Mari for remembering to put it in, knotting rope is a distraction of mine, for when I'm anxious or just plain scared.

I sit cross legged on the floor and begin tying all kind of knots, and then pulling a single twist to return it to its original state. I go through every knot I can remember, and finish with a noose. I run it carefully through my fingers, and place the loop on the edge of my jaw, feeling the way it sculpts onto my face. Must be a peaceful way to die, to just stop breathing.

I'm scared senseless by a rap on the door and the happy voice of Chiara.

"Up, up know, Annie. Today is going to be busy, busy, busy!" She trills. Training day. Oh no.

"I won't be long, Chiara" I reply, just in case she's still at the door. I am finishing combing my hair when the same Avox girl from yesterday slips through my slightly ajar door, and places an outfit on the bed for me.

"Thank you," I say. She smiles politely at me and leaves. I walk to the bed and hold the outfit in front of me. It is a black shirt, a pair of slim fitting trousers and a navy jacket with 'Cresta, District 4' marked in white letters on the back. I'm provided with a pair of comfortable boots too. I dress myself and walk to breakfast. I arrive quite early; the only people at the table are Chiara and Mags.

"Annie, darling, me and Mags were just talking about you!" Chiara says. I glance at Mags and she smiles kindly at me.

"Don't worry dear, we were just discussing training" She assures me. I nod and take a seat next to Mags, and she pushes a steaming mug towards me. I recognise it, its hot chocolate. One time when my Father got a huge catch that sold entirely and left him with more money than he knew what to do with, he took Mari and me to the sweet shop and bought us sweets and a hot chocolate. I sip it, and let the silky, sweet liquid flow down my throat.

"I was friends with your grandmother, you come from a throwing family don't you?" I nod as I put a segment of an orange fruit into my mouth.

"Yes, I thought so, knives, spears and tridents" She says thoughtfully to herself. "You didn't go to the Academy, did you?"

"No, I'm about as good with a weapon as a fish out of water" I sigh. Mags pats my arm lightly.

"Don't you worry, child. It runs in the family, you'll do fine. Just stay with Seger," She says before muttering "_Try_ to get him to make some allies"

I laugh slightly, and just on cue, Seger arrives. He takes the seat opposite me and piles his plate with food. We eat in silence for a while, and I notice Finnick hasn't turned up.

"Mags, where's Finnick?" I ask.

"Capitol business" She says quickly "Come on now you two, Chiara will take you to training.

* * *

We are third to arrive, behind Districts 1 and 2. They have already formed some kind of clique, and are standing together muttering. They notice our presence immediately and Cartier from 1 walks slowly over to us.

"Ah, District 4" He says cockily "The names Cartier, that's Lucienne" He signals to the pretty blonde from 1, who just looks us up and down. "Aziah" The menacing looking boy from two who nods his head "and Estella" The girl from two who tripped me smiles sarcastically at me. Cartier holds out his hand and I go to shake it before Seger growls

"Seger and Annie. We don't team with those beneath us, let's see if you're any good first" Cartier looks surprised his immediate alliance is turned down, and gives him a much practiced looking smile.

"Very well, 4" He sneers slightly, turning and heading back to the Career group. Once he's gone, I turn to Seger.

"Seger! Those are our allies!" I whine

"They're_ your_ allies, not mine" He corrects "You can kiss their asses all you want, but I'm not"

"Ok, let's compromise" I suggest "We can try find allies who aren't the Careers" He doesn't object so I carry on. "I like the look of seven" I tell him. He nods slightly, and I decide we can approach them at lunch if they look ok in training.

I feel very hypocritical then. I've always been against the Capitol treating the Tributes so shallowly, and now I'm doing it myself! After a few minutes a strong, stern looking woman walks in and stands by the door.

"Hello Tributes, my name is Trainer Jolson, behind these doors is the training centre. You will be in here until lunch where you will have one hour to eat, and then you will return back. I advise you to go to every station, as the Arena could hold anything. Ration your time evenly. There is to be no fighting or physical combat with other Tributes, there are professionals at every station who will deal with any combat required. Have fun" She smiles, opening the door. The Careers cheer and practically sprint in, all heading for various weapon stations.

"Where should we go?" I ask Seger

"Survival skills. That way we can keep an eye on everyone, and its useful" He says. He head over where a very over-enthusiastic man teaches us how to light fires, preserve food, purify water and first aid. It's actually quite interesting, and I find Seger is the one actually observing people. After half an hour we leave and begin wandering the Centre. Seger begins notifying me of the other Tributes.

"The Careers have only stayed at the weapons; Cartier is ok with a sword, Lucienne doesn't seem that good at anything, Aziah uses spears, Estella uses knives. 7 both look pretty lethal with an axe, and the boy from 11 is decent with a sickle and shurikens. Everyone else either hasn't used weapons or isn't any good" He says quietly as we tour the stations, eventually stopping at knot tying as its easy and passes time.

"So you want seven?" I ask him

"I don't want anyone except us two, but if we have to, yes" He grumbles. The trainer compliments us both countless times on our knots and eventually asks us if were District 4. When we say yes he glances at the Careers, confused were not with them. Seger glares at him and tightly pulls his knot.

* * *

We are half way through edible plants when a bell rings for lunch, we exit, and Seger leads us straight past the Careers and towards 7. They look suspiciously at us as we approach them and Seger hisses "You do the talking" just before we reach them.

"Hello" I smile, my voice awfully quiet "I'm Annie, this is Seger, were from District 4" I hold my hand out to the girl and she takes it eventually, still wary. Jotham, the boy, shakes Seger's and we sit together. I learn the girl is called Kimberly, and we exchange small talk, a wall of tension blocking us, waiting for the one question

"Would you be interested in being our allies?" I ask shyly

"Are you with the Careers?" Jotham replies

"No, never" Seger says, almost forcefully. Kimberly and Jotham exchange a look, and I realise they must have a pretty large age difference. Jotham looks about 18, the same age as Seger, but Kimberly only looks 14, 15 at the most.

"Ok, but nothing's definite until we see some of your weapon skills" Jotham decides. So they've been on the lookout for the weapon users.

"Sure" Seger shrugs and we carry on eating.

Once the bell has gone, Kimberly and Jotham follow us over to the weaponry area, keeping a few metres behind. Seger leads the way to the spears section, where several moving, orange holograms of people dart about, ready to be hit. The spears are lined up in a special holder and Seger stops when he reaches, and I see Cartier and Aziah watching him from a distance. He picks up a spear and presses a button.

"Annie, can you hold all the spears out?" He asks. I nod and pick them all up in my arms just as the simulation begins. Seger is remarkable, hitting every 'person' in the heart or head, and dodging out the way when hologram knives, arrows and swords start flying at him. Kimberly and Jotham look impressed as he launches the last spear out into the heart of the last enemy.

I hear slow clapping behind us, and Aziah is approaching Seger, an arrogant smile on his face.

"Well, well, four. Looks like you're pretty decent. Shame, you would've made an ok ally," He sneers, Seger tenses, falling victim to his jibes. "But of course, you turned us down, so we'll have to kill you, just as we killed your brother" He taunts. Before I know what's going Seger has launched himself at Aziah and has him pinned on the floor.

"Seger! Get off of him!" I cry, grabbing his shoulder and forcing him off. The other Careers are approaching quick, and I have a feeling they wont play nice. Thankfully a trainer arrives just before the Careers and leads Aziah away, I hand Seger over to Jotham as he's much stronger than me, and can hold him back.

"Fucking piece of_ scum_!" he spits, shaking Jotham off of him.

"Seger, I know what he said wasn't right but you shouldn't have attacked him like that!"

"Annie just leave it, alright!" He snaps. I look down, embarrassed and another awkward quiet starts up.

"Annie, why don't you show us your skill?" Kimberly asks. My skill. My skill. I don't have a skill!

"Ok," I mumble. I do what Finnick told me and head to the row of knives glimmering in the bright light. The Careers are now absorbed in critiquing the boy from 11 on his weaponry, so that's a weight off my shoulders, but the watchful eyes of Jotham and Kimberly are making me feel nervous_. A button that elects a new President, who stops the Games, and poverty in the Districts. _I think as I remember what Finnick said. I press the start button and 6 white, plastic dummies fall down on ropes from the ceiling. I exhale slightly, and try to envision the button in the centre of the first dummies chest. I stand to the side, like my sister had told me to, and just as I go to throw forward the button disappears, and my knife completely misses the heart, luckily it hits the dummy in the neck, and I sigh with relief. The next knife hits the shoulder, the third hits the stomach and the fourth the head. Five and six however, are moving. Slowly sure, but they're still moving. I try to envision the button on the chest, swinging steadily from left to right. I throw, and it just misses the button, but would've been a near fatal hit to the ribs. It's now practically impossible to imagine the button, and the last knife hits the dummy in the thigh. Good enough.

Kimberly and Jotham seem relatively impressed with us, nodding their heads.

"So, allies?" Seger asks

"Allies" The both say together, shaking our hands. The two of them go to the survival station and we go to camouflage, where I begin painting a flower on my hand.

* * *

Chiara collects us at the end of training, but seems more bothered about how well Joilean did my hair as opposed to our first training day. Mags meets us at the Penthouse, and seems to of heard about Seger's bust up with Aziah. She begins giving him a long lecture about sponsors, allies, living and rules, and I feel so sorry for him I have to cut in.

"Mags?" I say quietly. She pauses and looks at me.

"Yes, dear?"

"Please don't be too upset with Seger," I mumble "Aziah was really horrible to him; he told him that he and the Careers will kill him just like they did Irving, because we didn't ally with them"

"You didn't ally with them." Mags says tiredly. Seger shakes his head defiantly and Mags shoots him a warning look.

"Did you ally with _anyone?_" She asks desperately

"Yes, District 7" I mumble. Mags looks very relieved, and stands up a bit straighter.

"Good. Well, it's at least going to make a good show" She says grimly. Seger snorts and I smile, and she sits us down in the lounge to discuss our day further. After a while the door opens and Finnick walks through, looking exhausted. Mags smiles pitifully at him and he sits down in an armchair.

"So, how was today?" He asks. Between us we explain the course of the day; he seems amused about Seger's fight with Aziah, but angry about us not teaming with the Careers until we tell him we have allied with District 7.

"Well, today seems to have been rather eventful" He says, standing up "I however, am exhausted. I might come down for dinner later" He nods at Seger, smiles at Mags and winks at me, and then leaves.

* * *

The next few days pass in a blur of training. We do round about the same old thing, Jotham has to restrain Seger from attacking Cartier at lunch one day, but apart from that nothing interesting happens. I learn more about Kimberly and Jotham; Kimberly's older brother is Jotham's best friend, so they've always known each other. They both come from lumberjack families, and have worked in the woods since 12 years old, which explains the axe skills. They both have large families they have to help feed, and Jotham was going to be ineligible for the Reaping in two weeks time, when he was going to propose to his girlfriend. That nearly makes me cry, he had so much going for him at home, ready to be thrown away. Finnick is almost always out on Capitol business, and comes back late at night. I stayed up waiting for him the first night until he insisted I didn't, he smelt very strange, sickly sweet even, every time he comes back.

I'm trying to force myself to eat some strawberries, but my stomach gets tighter the closer the strawberry gets to my mouth, I'm so nervous. Today is Scoring day. We sit in the room outside the training centre quietly, not even the Careers are talking. After what seems like forever waiting in silence, the Capitol woman's voice flows through the intercom

"Annie Cresta, District 4"

I rise slowly and open the doors, I walk past Seger and he smiles at me. I feel like there's bats in my stomach, each black wing tip beating violently against my stomach. I feel sick, but I carry on walking until I'm standing in front of the Gamemakers' watchtower. I look up to them and say

"Annie Cresta, District 4"

The Head Gamemaker, Finbar Godfrey, nods at me, and I'm paralyzed. I don't know where to go. Instinctively, I walk to the knot section where I quickly weave a net, I pick it up and I then go to the knives. I take a knife out of the gleaming stands and realise I have nowhere to put it. Adrenaline high, I toss it into the air and whip the net over the dummy just for me to catch the knife, and then throw it. It hits the dummy in the stomach, and suddenly a whole load of fake blood comes pouring out. I gag and turn around, my fear of blood making my vision swim. I stumble over to the Gamemakers and bow, and get out of the Training Room as quickly as I can. I can feel their eyes watching me, obviously noticing my fear. I practically flail through the Penthouse ignoring everyone's 'hello's' and 'how did it go's?' and fall into my room, the last thing I see is blood dripping from the curtains, the table, the pictures and the ceiling before I pass out on the floor.

* * *

A/n- Yay! 2 Chapters in two days! Obviously tommorows Monday so there wont be as many in the week, Im awful at scheduling so things are just going to be all over the place I'm afraid! I will get at least one chapter out during the weekdays though. This chapter sort of highlights my OCD with names even more, I had to actually look up the meanings of Kimberly and Jotham to ensure the related to lumber!

I'm really enjoying writing this so far, any Arena requests review or PM me them!

As usual thank you for reading and supporting the story, you guys are great!

I own nothing disclaimer disclaimer yada yada yada Suzanne Collins disclaimer disclaimer disclaimer.

-G :)


	6. Chapter 6

6: Needs

As I wake up I feel strangely calmed, I look over to my side and see Finnick, slumped over sleeping in a chair, holding my hand. He looks exhausted, purplish circles mark underneath his eyes, but he looks so young and innocent while he sleeps. I must have missed dinner, because there is a tray of food at the foot of my bed.

"Finnick," I say softly, tapping his arm. He comes to his senses immediately and sits up.

"God look who's the Sleeping Beauty now!" He says. I laugh at his arrogance as he sits up and runs his hands through his dishevelled hair. Oh no, we haven't missed Scoring have we?!

"Finnick, have we missed scoring?" I gasp

"Oh crap" He laughs, jumping up and grabbing my hand "We better go!"

We practically sprint hand in hand through the corridors when we run into Seger's stylist.

"Zaidin, have we missed scoring?" Finnick asks. Zaidin shakes his head amusedly, and we slow to a walk, Finnick doesn't let go of my hand. I notice it feels very rough and dry, like he's been weaving nets too long or scrubbing it, most likely the latter. We turn up in the lounge and Mags smiles at us. We sit on the other side of Chiara and Zaidin arrives shortly after. The Scoring begins, and I start fiddling with my hands and bouncing my legs up and down like I've had too much caffeine. After what seems like an eternity of the overly happy voices of Caesar and Claudius filling Panem in on all of our activity since the Reaping, Caesar says

"Well, shall we begin?" Claudius nods excitedly as Caesar shuffles papers around in his hands.

"We'll start with District 1; Cartier Holloway with a score of ...9! And Lucienne Georgis with a score of ... 7!" He trills; the arrogant face of Cartier and the flirty smile of Lucienne flashing on the screen. "District 2- Aziah Jordan with a score of... 10, and Estella Conway with a score of... 8!" I glance over at Seger who is glaring at Aziah's pointed face on the screen. District 3 scores a 4 and a 5, and Finnick squeezes my hand reassuringly.

"District 4- Seger Chariston with a score of... 10!" Seger smiles triumphantly and leans back in his chair as Mags and Chiara hug him "and Annie Cresta with a score of ...8!"

Eight. _Eight. _I scored the same as Estella, and more than Lucienne! Finnick puts his arm around me and murmurs "Well done, darling" as everybody rushes over to congratulate Seger and I on our high scores. I'm smiling so widely my cheeks feel sore, Seger looks composed but still very pleased with himself, I don't blame him he got the highest score along with Aziah. The rest of the interviews pass in a blur, Jotham scored a nine and Kimberly scored a seven. At one point during the evening Chiara opens a very expensive looking bottle and pours everybody a glass of fizzing liquid.

"What is it?" I ask her

"Why, it's champagne darling!" She trills, raising the long-stemmed glass "To Seger and Annie on their amazing scores!" I sip the liquid and it tastes quite nice, but after half a glass I begin feeling dizzy so I leave the rest.

"Not getting drunk are we?" Finnick laughs as I place the drink on the glass table.

"Of course not! I'm too responsible" I argue. Finnick winks at me and finishes the rest of my drink.

"I never said I didn't want it" I quip

"Oh shush, I'm _Finnick Odair_; I could tell you didn't want it" He says, tapping my nose. I swat at his hand and he laughs, pulling it away.

"I've got to go" He says to everyone, looking at the watch on his wrist. Where does he go every night? I know he has lovers everywhere and attends parties, but surely not this many? Things feel boring without him there and I excuse myself.

* * *

I get into the elevator and look at the buttons; one of them says R. R for roof? I press it and the elevator shoots upwards, and dings shortly after. I was correct; I step out onto the roof of the Training Centre and sit down on the ledge, letting my legs hang over the bustling Capitol streets. I look around me, and everywhere I see there are lights twinkling, flashing and blaring into the air. Some are advertisements for the latest makeup trend, others are supporting Districts, and I see mine and Seger's faces on one of them and the words 'District 4, the home of Finnick Odair'. For some reason the sign makes me angry so I turn and focus on the street below. Small, yellow lights of cars dart across the street, and I can just make out the silhouettes of the Capitol people in the lights form the signs and streetlamps. _Finnick is out there somewhere_, I think. _Probably with one of his Capitol lovers. _The thought makes me feel very jealous somehow, and I pull my knees to my chin and sit bunched up, staring at all the beautiful lights, everywhere. The air turns cold and I start shivering, but still don't leave.

I sit there for hours, just watching the life of the street slowly dwindle away the further into the night it becomes. The signs change every few hours, the one directly in front of me which was plastered with the faces of Aziah and Estella is now magenta like Chiara's skin, and flashing with blue bubbles as it advertises a new soap, which apparently makes you smell like flowers on a spring morning. The sign is so bright it completely basks the street in magenta and blue, and I see a car pull up and the unmistakeable figure of Finnick stepping out. I stand up, legs dead against the chill, and step into the elevator. I press '4', hoping to get there before Finnick does, until I see the letter 'G' is already lit up. The elevator passes our Penthouse and heads to the ground floor, and Finnick seems truly surprised to see me there.

"Well, I know you adore me, but meeting me in the elevator is not needed" He laughs. I know he's joking but I blush anyway.

"I was on the roof" I mumble as he steps in.

"Ah, you discovered the roof" He smiles, turning towards me "Want to go back up there?" He asks. I nod sheepishly and he presses the 'R' button. We step out on to the roof and he follows me to the spot where I sat before.

"It's so beautiful" I breathe as he sits next to me.

"I came here every night before my Games" He says quietly. I don't question why. It's so peaceful up here. The air somehow gets colder, and my Training outfit is unable to stop the shivers that run through my body. Finnick notices and puts his arm around me, it's warm and secure, and would be comforting if it weren't for the strong, sickly smell covering his skin. _Definitely with a lover, _I think to myself. I don't want his arm round me, his hand on me, if its only just been all over the body of another woman. It's disgusting.

"I'm going to bed" I say suddenly, standing up and turning to the elevator

"Why so quickly? You stayed up to see me, after all"

"Well some people need sleep. Unlike you, I don't parade round with lovers all night, so I become genuinely tired" I snap. He looks hurt and I immediately regret it "Finnick, look, I"

"No, you're right, you've got interviews tomorrow," He interrupts. He has basically given me a direct invitation to leave, so I turn to walk away "And I do become tired," He says as I walk away "Not just physically, either. If I had the choice now I would go to sleep and never wake up" He says sadly as I step in to the elevator, leaving him stranded. I press to four button and feel heart-breakingly guilty as I descend down.

* * *

Finnick doesn't turn up to breakfast the next day, and I sit chewing my lip nervously all the way through breakfast as Mags explains how she wants Seger and I to act. Seger is going to portray deadly and mysterious.

"You need to have the whole crowd watching you intently. Make them intimidated, afraid" Mags tells him. He nods, of course, that's going to be the easiest thing in the world.

"Annie, we've decided for you to play innocent" _Innocent, _I think the word over in my head. "You're going to be pure, kind and _trustworthy. _This will be easy as you're all of those things anyway" She smiles. _No I'm not. I upset Finnick and now he's not come to breakfast. _

The rest of the day is a mixture of prep and rehearsals. Olia, Joilean and Astreis barge in on me half way through my shower, squealing 'surprise!' at me. They spend a few hours re waxing me and doing my hair up again. Briana visits a few times to check they're doing everything as she specified, and once my hair is finished I go to find Chiara.

The etiquette and other assorted Capitol things with Chiara drags immensely. I have to walk round the Penthouse with my heels on and a book on my head, and nearly twist my ankle. I have to practice sitting straight, talking correctly and smiling for the cameras. I'm so relieved when Mags comes in and tells me it's time to swap. She leads me into my room where I have to practice my personality. She says I master it within the first fifteen minutes, and we sit in a comfortable silence.

"Mags?" I ask

"Yes dear?"

"Last night I had an argument with Finnick... And he didn't come to breakfast this morning. I said something rude to him and I really regret it now because I upset him" I say sadly. Mags scoots over next to me and pats my knee. She almost feels like the Grandmother I never met.

"Don't feel guilty child, I was talking to him this morning, he isn't upset with you, he's upset with himself"

"But he did nothing wrong!" I insist. I don't want him to take the blame.

"I know he didn't, and neither did you. Finnick is very critical of himself" She sighs. I have a feeling she must have dealt with him too many times.

"Why? He has it all, the money, the fame, the women, and the looks" I count off.

"There are the perks to being a Victor, but there is also its falls. In Finnick's case, they weigh out the pros" She says. I tilt my head down and fiddle with my hair.

"He really cares about you" She says. I look up, and she's looking genuinely at me. I wonder if she's lying.

"Do you really think so?"

"I _know_ so, dear"

* * *

"Oh, darling, you look _beautiful!" _sings Chiara. I do feel very pretty. Briana has captured innocent perfectly. My dress is pink and ruffled, it's embedded with pearls and the front ends at my knees, while the back reaches my heels. Joilean has secured my hair above my head with a pink ribbon. I feel very bare without my hair shielding my face, and my teeth keep slipping on the lip gloss.

"Just look to me when you talk, you'll find me" Says Mags, leaving Chiara to take Seger and me down backstage. She fusses over our hair and my makeup then takes her seat.

I can see from the extremely short and tight fitting dress Lucienne is going for sexy. She flirts with Caesar and the audience until it's completely overused. Cartier is going for bold, which isn't hard. He's arrogant as usual. Estella goes for mysterious, not giving anyway at all. Aziah goes for dangerous, just as Seger will. He does well, but I can see it's put on. District 3 is friendly, and before I know it I'm being ushered on stage. 'You're going to be pure, kind and trustworthy' rings through my head, and I smile at the audience. I take a seat opposite Caesar and let him kiss my cheek. I'm slightly disheartened at his choice of colour this year; scarlet.

"Annie! I must say you look lovely tonight!"

I blush accidentally, but it's all part of the act, I guess.

"Thank you very much, Caesar. My stylist is amazing" I say, even softer than I usually do. The cameras cut to Briana, who smiles and waves.

"Yes, she certainly is! Tell me, Annie, do you have any plans for the Arena?" He asks. Do I? I don't know! I frantically try to find Mags, but I see an even better face, Finnick's. He smiles at me and mouths 'allies'

"Yes, I do. I think you'll all be in for a surprise" I smile at the audience.

"Ah, and I guess it's confidential?" Caesar asks hopefully.

"I'm so sorry Caesar, it is" I apologise. The interview passes smoothly, I just answer as I would normally, and I have to admit, I think I pull of the innocent act quite well. At the end Caesar leans towards me.

"Now, there's one question we've all been_ dying_ to know," I nod for him to continue "What is it like having Finnick Odair as a Mentor?" The whole crowd erupts into screams at his name, and the camera cuts to him, where he just winks at him. I find his face again, and look at him as I say it.

"Well, it's different;" I begin "He's very nice, and caring. He genuinely wants to help us. It's great," I say to him. Finnick smiles and I feel as if I pulled it off ok.

"Well of course, he's _Finnick Odair_!" Caesar exclaims. Finnick laughs, but I can see it's fake. The buzzer sounds, and the audience applaud me off. I meet Finnick, Mags, Briana and Chiara and they all congratulate me. I smile at Seger as he walks past, he's already in character. He's fantastic the whole interview, even I'm scared of him.

When he's finished we go back to the Penthouse and I wish Jotham and Kimberly luck as we pass them. We reach the Penthouse and Mags and Seger bid us goodnight; Briana, Zaidin and Chiara are at a party. It just leaves Finnick and me, sitting in the lounge together.

Finnick pulls out a notebook and begins writing. I wander over to him and sit on the arm of the chair.

"Can I see?" I ask. He nods shyly and passes me the book. It's a poem.

**_I never thought I'd find love one day,  
Or that it was her who'd head my way,  
I was caught off guard; taken by surprise,  
When I fell into the depths of those beautiful eyes._**

**_It must be true everything good is from above,  
happiness, laughter, beauty and love,  
they say no one's perfect, and flaws are fine  
but perfect is just her, it can't be disguised._**

**_Whenever she smiles or she cries, it's those little things she'll do,  
like when she chews her lip how I used to,  
and this life seems impossible but I'll help her see through,  
the lies and the tears, and the sadistic views,_**

**_I keep wondering if it's too good to be true,  
If I will end up losing you,  
But in myself I know,  
I'll get you home,  
But first I need to say  
three words I've been dying to;  
Annie Cresta, I need you._**

Annie Cresta, I need you. I need you. I need him too.

I look up at him and he's watching me, fear embedded in his eyes.

"I need you too" I whisper. He leans in towards me and places his lips on my forehead. Its feels strange, but nice.

"I'm going to get you out of the Arena, Annie" He says determinedly "Whatever it takes, I'll get you out. I promise"

"Promises are hard to keep" I say. He is back to the classic Finnick as he smiles at me.

"_Finnick Odair_ doesn't break his promises"

* * *

A/n- Ahhh! First step of their romance complete! Next chapter is the beginning of the Games, I hope you like the arena I've planned! If you have any ideas review or PM me them, and I'll add them in!

I struggled this chapter to make it interesting, I'm sorry!

Poetry; Yay or Nay? I've never been amazing at poetry, as you can see, but I thought it's the sort of thing Finnick would do!

Thank you all for the support, favourites, follows and reviews! Its great!

-G :) x


	7. Chapter 7

7: The Cornucopias

What little sleep I have is littered with nightmares about the Games, and I'm actually thankful when Chiara raps on the door announcing it will be a 'Big, big day, darling!'

I rise and shower, pressing the District 4 button and smell the relaxing scent of home for probably the last time. I towel dry my hair and let it hang and dry. I pace nervously to breakfast; everybody is there. Seger looks composed and I envy his self control. I sit next to Finnick, and simply stare at the food, unwilling and unable to eat a single bite. It passes in quiet, as Chiara is hung over and therefore doesn't make her usual small talk. Briana stands up and beckons for me to get ready with her, I rise to follow her quickly; her presence is calming. Once we reach my room she sits me on the bed and begins combing through my hair.

"Would you like it put up?" She asks

"No thank you" I reply quietly, I can feel her sad smile behind me and she moves round.

"We can do something with this," She beckons to my fringe "Because it gives you a spare band if you do need to pull it back." I nod reluctantly and she begins braiding it back towards the crown of my head. She steps back and evaluates her work.

"Lovely" She smiles. "Now, let's get Finnick and we can go."

"Already?!" I've barely woken up nor got dressed. She laughs and hands me a robe.

"Don't worry, we'll get you ready properly under the Arena honey" She says. Well at least there's a bit of time left. We go back to the lounge where I hug Mags and Chiara tightly and thank them.

"I'll see you later" I say to Seger. He smiles slightly and nods, and so Finnick, Briana and I all head for the hovercraft waiting on the roof.

* * *

The ride to the arena is awful; the bats that inhabited my stomach during Scoring have returned, but this time multiplied by the hundreds. My leg is bouncing up and down again and Finnick places his hand on my knee to stop it. A stern looking Capitol woman approaches with a needle and I shy away immediately.

"Don't worry honey, it's your Tracker" Briana says. I cautiously hold out my arm as she jabs it in and a cool sensation spreads to my wrist. We land underneath the arena and Briana and I are told to get off. I turn to Finnick to say good bye.

"Annie; You need to get to Seger and go, don't kill yourself getting to 7. Find water first, then shelter. Do_ not_ go to the Cornucopia, promise you won't" He says. I nod "Grab a backpack if there's one near. There are usually knives in there. Stay away from the Careers, they'll want you and Seger dead instantly, run, get as far away as you can. The Careers usually set up camp then look for the other Tributes, during that time run to the Cornucopia and get whatever is left. Trust your instincts" I nod again, and he holds something out in his hand; a bracelet.

"It's been approved" He tells Briana, who nods and leaves the hovercraft. The bracelet is from home, and is a small piece of blue rope with various pieces of sea shell and sea glass woven in. I recognise it.

"Your mother made this" I say. Marina Odair made the most beautiful jewellery out of shells, rope and other beach items. Some would even be sold to the Capitol. Finnick nods and tires it round my shaking wrist.

"For good luck, and to know I'm always there" He whispers. Tears are welling in my eyes so I throw my arms round his neck. He hugs me back tightly.

"Thank you, it's beautiful. See you soon, Finnick" I murmur.

"You're welcome. See you soon, Sleeping Beauty"

I turn away, and he calls out "You're a lot stronger than you think you are, Annie Cresta! Remember that!"

And just like that, Peacekeepers are leading me away, and he's gone.

* * *

Briana has a jumpsuit held in front of her, it must be my outfit. It's white, and has what look like thousands of miniscule holes in it. Certain points look quite hard and protective, while others are flexible and thin.

"Micropores, white, Lycra and protective casing..." Briana mutters to herself. She hands me the outfit.

"I'll explain while you're getting changed, honey" She says. I begin getting undressed immediately. "This looks extremely multi-terrain. It's waterproof, but insulated. It's also white; you're in for some climate change. There are also the materials, some bits are very hard and protective while others are modified Lycra. I can only guess climbing will be involved, and possibly something to do with falling. This is one strange outfit. The shoes are the same" She explains, handing me some shoes of the same material. I begin fiddling with my bracelet when she hands me a cup of water. Remembering I may have to go days without liquid I gulp it down quickly, ignoring my bodies' objections.

"60 Seconds" A woman's voice sounds. Dread fills every moving inch of my body as Briana helps me up.

"You can do this, sweetie" She says reassuringly, pulling me into a hug. I smile at her and she leads me to the glass pod.

"Thirty Seconds"

"If I die, tell my sister I love her" I say quietly. She squeezes my hand and nods.

"Ten Seconds"

"I'm betting on you, silently, of course" She says just as the glass screen comes down. I feel horrifyingly claustrophobic as the pod goes up, and I'm submerged in complete darkness. The sudden light nearly blinds me as I'm up on the podium, and the first thing I do is look for Seger. He should be directly opposite me, hidden by the Cornucopia, but I can see him perfectly; because there is no Cornucopia.

"Let the 70th Hunger Games begin!" Claudius Templesmith's voice echoes around us. The Arena is empty. Just our podiums, a few backpacks, and a long, endless stretch of wasteland.

_50_

Jotham is standing directly to my right, I look at him and he gestures with his eyes to the backpacks about 50 metres from us.

_ 40_

I see Kimberly next to Seger; they have the same idea as Jotham and I.

_30_

Aziah is 2 podiums away, but doesn't seem too interested in me.

_20_

Estella is opposite Aziah. She _does_ seem interested in me.

_10_

Oh god

_9_

Get a backpack and run

_8_

Wait, what's that?

_7_

I see water, I know the reflection; anybody from 4 does.

_6_

Change of plan

_5 _

We go to the water

_4_

Get ready

_3_

Get Seger

_2_

Get Jotham and Kimberly

_1_

GO.

I'm sprinting, sprinting for my life, for a backpack. Jotham gets there the same time as me and we sling them over our backs.

"Come on!" He shouts, heading towards the fist fighting.

"_No, Jotham! I know where to go_!" I shriek. He stops immediately and follows me. We both run around the back of the podiums, and find Seger and Kimberly sprinting towards us. It's so hot, and I'm sweating already.

"Seger, have you seen over there?!" I pant, pointing to the water. He nods, and we turn to go when we hear a crunch. Lucienne is on the floor, blood coming from her nose, and Kimberly is standing over her. I gag but there's no food to come out of my stomach. The heat doesn't help either, and I feel dizzy. I turn away and all four of us run to the water. We seemed to go unnoticed by Cartier who is busy fussing over Lucienne's broken nose. Aziah and Estella are busy suffocating weaker Tributes in the initial 'bloodbath'. The water starts coming into clearer view, it's a very large lake, and freshwater I hope.

"Well done 4" Jotham says. I smile at him as we stop at the edge. I bend down and scoop some up in my hands, and grimace as I taste it.

"Saltwater" I sigh.

"Shit" Seger says. I give him a reproachful look; it is the Games, but he still shouldn't swear. I look up into the hazy distance, fogged by the evaporating water, and see the thing we've all been looking for; A Cornucopia. It's hard to make out, but I can see the silver metallic outline out there. Seger notices too and whoops.

"The Cornucopia!" Kimberly says excitedly.

"I'll go over there" I volunteer, as it's obvious by the hopeful looks being directed at Seger and I that you don't learn to swim in nod enthusiastically.

"We'll sort the backpacks out" Says Jotham.

"I'll stand on top of the Cornucopia and wave when it's safe Seger" I tell him just as I dive straight into the waters of the lake. I begin swimming, it feels nice, I haven't done it in so long. My mouth starts turning dry and I realise just how desperately we need water. My throat starts scratching and my head starts hurting. Why am I dehydrating so quickly? I start shivering and my head is swimming and my arms are refusing to work. I roll on to my back and go to shut my eyes, until I notice something; clouds of icy blue are protruding from by body and disappearing into the water. That's all my body's water. I scoop some up and place it to my lips, and my suspicions are correct, the water is warm but definitely fresh. I'm seeing things now; Mari standing on top of the Cornucopia, Estella in a fisherman's boat trying to hook my eyes out with her rod. I scramble to the island the Cornucopia is on and lay face down on the sand, my breath rasping. I hear something land beside me, and see it's a parachute. I fumble with it until it opens, and inside is a small pill, and a flask of water. I gulp it down appreciatively and read the note-

**"It's Sodium Pull water; it sucks the water out of you and replaces it with its salt. Take this tablet, and ****_don't_**** get back in."**

**-Finnick & Mags. **

I swallow down the tablet and mouth 'Thank You' at the sky. I feel better already. I stand up and walk to the Cornucopia. The metallic surface is hot to touch, but I still hoist myself up and look through the hole in the top. As far as I can see there is no mutts, just flask after flask of water. I hop down and run in quickly. I pick one up and notice there is nothing in there.

Darn it.

I desperately look around the island to see if there is a place to fill it when I notice the dam. The huge concrete pillar has a small hole in it where a steady stream of water flows out into a small lake separated from the lake. I look hungrily at it, but I can't get there without swimming. I go back into the shade of the Cornucopia and fumble through the flasks. I find a few bottles of iodine which I keep, and a board of wood.

"Perfect" I breathe.

I go back to the sunlight and sit place the board in the water. I place my knees on it first, then my hands. I sit square in the middle and use one of the squarer shaped flasks to push me along; my other arm is full of flasks. I reach the mini waterfall and taste it. Fresh water! I gulp some down and begin filling up every single flask. There must be at least 30 of them all filled with two drops of iodine in them. I scoop them up and get back on the board. I hear the boom of a cannon and I flinch. I reach Seger, Kimberly and Jotham and they gratefully take one each. It turns out they divide up perfectly to 7 each.

"Why'd you have that board?" Kimberly asks.

"The waters poisonous, it's called Sodium Pull water. It sucks all the water from your body and replaces it with salt" I tell them

"Then we need to get rid of the board. It'll help kill people off. Was there only flasks and water there?" asks Seger._ It'll help kill people off. _I shudder involuntarily.

"Yeah, just empty flasks, and a couple of bottles of iodine, I picked all of those up" I tell him. Seger picks up the board and bends it over effortlessly, snapping it in two and throwing it out. We won't need it again anyway.

"What was in the backpacks?" I ask as Kimberly hands me one.

"We rationed it out- everyone's got two knives, some food and a blanket. Should be enough till we find weapons" Jotham says. "Let's try look for some."

I remember Finnick's advice of going back to the starting point.

"Guys, maybe we could go to the start, in case there's anything left?" I suggest shyly

"Nah, Careers would've taken everything" Seger says darkly. I let him take lead. We follow the huge expanse of lake for a while, I spot a few fish that laze in the shallows, and I recognise them all from home. They're poisonous, every single one of them. We reach then end of the lake and I notice everything is beginning to curve slightly. It must be a circular Arena then. The next terrain is a field, except this one is a lot different to the first one. This is lush, littered with fruit trees and plants. We all progress in and head to different shrubs and food sources. I look closely at them and try to remember anything at all from Edible Plants. I look at the brightly coloured berries hanging off the plant; this stuff grows everywhere, they're blueberries. I pick a large amount off and start eating them, Mari and I used to collect these in the summer back home.

"_Don't touch that!_" Seger shouts suddenly. I spin round and see Jotham backing quickly away from a bush. "I remember, the inside core of the bush is home to this Mutt that eats your eyes out" He explains grimly to a slightly baffled Jotham. I hand everyone some of my berries and we walk through the high grass. I pick and apple off a tree and bite into it. An acidic, burning sensation fills my mouth and I throw the apple down and swirl some water in my mouth. The sun is even hotter now, beating down on us like a drum. I'm sweating madly, and so are the others as we navigate through, occasionally tripping in dips or stumbling over bumps.

"Is that a Cornucopia?" I ask, pointing to a silver shape.

"We'll see when we get there!" says Kimberly. We gave up collecting a while ago when Jotham nearly ate a handful of Nightlock. Eager to see if there's a Cornucopia I go ahead, dancing through the grass. The Cornucopia is coming into better view as I get closer and I can tell something is definitely spilling out of it. I continue on, nearly jogging to it, desperate to see what it contains.

An ear splitting scream rips through the air, and I turn just on time to see the boy from 11 standing behind a tree and Kimberly, knelt forwards, with a shuriken lodged in her abdomen. I shriek and stumble back, eyes wide at the blood slowly soaking the pure white suit. I barely have time to acknowledge Kimberly before Jotham has stabbed the boy from 11 in the heart, and two cannons boom through the Arena.

* * *

A/n-

Hello! Lately I've been getting some really lovely reviews, it's so sweet! Special thanks to everybody for the reviews! (SophiaLilly1980, Sofimbc, Marya, AmethystWren, ME4427, MillyVanilla and Music lover from District 4) You're all awesome! Also special thanks to all the Followers, favourites and readers!

The Arena is yet to be developed and will hopefully be explained next chapter !

I'm sorry to kill Kimberly off so soon, but I need to get it to Annie and Seger asap!

Hope you enjoyed this chapter, Suzanne Collins owns practically all of this as usual, and happy reading!

-G :)


	8. Chapter 8

8: "We've got visitors"

"Annie? Annie look at me" Seger's voice its drumming through my head. No, I don't want to look at him, there's going to be blood.

"Is the blood gone?" I whisper

"Yeah, all gone" He says. I open my eyes and see him looking down at me, concerned. He lifts me up and we go to a nearby tree where Jotham is sitting, palms on his forehead.

"I'm so sorry, Jotham" I say, my voice cracking as I crouch beside him.

"Don't worry about it" He says, standing up to join us. I go to walk to the Cornucopia, but Seger stops me.

"We've already emptied it of everything valuable, it's full of food, cotton, bread. Agricultural stuff" He says to me, turning round and heading east. Agricultural, the boy from 11, District 11- Agriculture. The Water. Seger and I finding it immediately, District 4- Fishing. Everything suddenly clicks. "The Districts" I whisper to myself.

"Seger," I start, he turns round patiently, but I rephrase when I see the glint of a parachute. "Don't worry" I say quickly. He turns back round again and I catch the parachute as I notice he has Kimberly's backpack as well as his own. I give him and Jotham a relatively large lead before I open the parachute. Inside is a cupcake, with green frosting and a sugar seashell. The same one Mari got me what feels like months ago. The note attached says

**Well done, darling. Who knew you were so clever?**

**-F**

I laugh lightly at it and stow the cake away in my bag, I'll save it for another time. After a long trek back to the wasteland Jotham points over to a clump of green in the Distance.

"Trees!" He says excitedly. District 7- Lumber; of course. I think as he just about skips over to them. There must be a Cornucopia there too. We follow him into the woodland, and go for a few hundred metres when we reach a completely vertical cliff face. I look up at the high, towering trees around us and realise that the only way we can go is up. Jotham notices too, and has selected a tree to start scaling. He does it with ease, he has been doing this most his life, and as I follow behind him I realise why our outfits contain Lycra; my legs are all over the place. Seger seems to have more trouble climbing, neither of us has climbed a tree before, but I guess it's easier when you're smaller. Jotham reaches the top within a minute, me not too long after, just leaving Seger to climb up. We're sitting on a branch and it feels like sitting on the cliff back home, legs dangling down towards to lush expanse below. Seger joins us and Jotham stands up, walking quickly along the branch then leaping to the tree next to us. He's huge, the same height as Seger, but somehow manages to look as though he's dancing through the branches. I look dumbfounded at him as he watches us.

"What? You can swim through poisonous water but not jump a branch?" He teases. I smile slightly and begin walking along the branch as if it's a tightrope. The cannon booms, nearly making me fall off and I gasp, but thankfully regain balance. I reach the end of the branch and stand still. I breathe in and out and then leap over on to the branch. Jotham half catches me when I land, and moves me towards the trunk that I can hold on to as he helps Seger across. We do this several times with different trees until we reach the cliff edge where we all jump pretty easily on to. The top of the cliff is bare of trees and instead littered with undergrowth; dense leaves, lush green ground plants and vines are everywhere, entangling our feet in a net of greenery. We slide through a hedge and see another Cornucopia, but were not the first there. 4 figures are on the top.

The Careers.

"We've got visitors" mutters Jotham.

Estella shouts and they all see us, I turn to run but see Jotham has gone straight in to the Cornucopia and sprints out with two axes and a saw. The thrusts the saw at me and I take it, holding it like a shield. We're slightly outnumbered but visibly in better shape, it's clear the Careers are hungry and dehydrated. They all jump off the Cornucopia and begin running to us. In combat Jotham is even more deadly with his axe, wielding and swinging it gracefully before slicing it into the Career's flesh. I watch in horror as Seger launches knives at them, hitting Aziah in the thigh. I can't do anything as I stand paralyzed in the midst of the fighting, knife clutched tightly in my hand. Estella notices me though, and grins evilly before advancing to me, she's getting closer, but I can't run, I can't attack, I can't do a thing. She's getting close enough to throw her knife at me, and right on cue she launches it into the air. I close my eyes and silently say my goodbyes when I'm thrown to the floor. I land roughly on the leaves and see Seger twisting the knife out of Estella's hand, breaking it in the process, before using it to stab her straight in the neck. I cry out as her body falls limply to the floor and a Cannon sounds. Cartier is still trying to attack Jotham, while an injured Aziah has crawled away somewhere. Somebody who is still alive is Lucienne, and she's heading towards me. She's weapon less, so I guess it's a fist fight. She's getting closer, closer, closer then...

_Crash_

I roll out the way just as she dives for me, and she lands face first on the ground, blonde hair fanned around her. Before she can get up I get on my knees and sit on her back, pinning her hands in mine. I have no idea what to do; she's squirming about in an attempt to get me off, but I can't hurt her. I just can't. I bend over down to her ear and whisper desperately,

"I'm going to count to one and I'm going to let you go, then run, get away before they hurt you" She seems dumbfounded at first; she stops squirming and just lays still. It's hard to tell, with her being face down and all, but I'm sure I see her nod.

"Three, two, one" And I roll off of her. She stands up immediately and gives me a small look of thanks before sprinting away back towards the cliff. Seger and Jotham are still fighting Cartier, I think he now realises how much of a disadvantage he's really at, because he's ducked out of the way and is running in the same direction as Lucienne, and probably Aziah did.

"Go run you little coward!" Seger spits "We'll still find you!"

I run to them and we all embrace and cheer in excitement, still slightly breathless. I scan the opening and lay my eyes on the bloody patch where Estella's body was, feeling numb down to my core and breathing shallowly. _This place changes people, but it isn't changing me. _I decide. I sit and lean against the Cornucopia while the boys sort through various weapons. I swing my backpack onto my lap and nibble at the cupcake Finnick sent me, twirling my bracelet round my wrist. The boys emerge a few minutes later, laden with axes, saws, swords and a few spears. I get handed a few to carry and we go to find a decent place to set up camp. Navigating down the cliff is eventful, we all slip several times; but the trees aren't an option with so many weapons and no free hands. We reach the bottom eventually, covered in grazes and scratches.

Twilight is starting as we walk through the wasteland. I watch as the sky slowly turns a beautiful muted violet, littered with faint stars and a perfectly round moon. It gets dark and we decide to set up at the beach by the lake; the field holds too many memories of Kimberly. I shudder as I remember it's just the first day, and things are not going to become any easier. All of us offer to take first watch, as we aren't very tired, so we all just sit, watching the moonlight shimmer on the lake. Real night falls, and I insist on first watch. We decide to wait until the Capitol seal appears before we do anything.

The anthem sounds a few minutes later, and the seal hovers in the peaceful night air. The pointed face of Estella appears first, then the girl from 3, both from 5, the boy from 6, Kimberly's smiling face, the little boy from 8, the girl from nine, the boy from 11 Jotham killed, and both from 12.

"11 dead" I breathe. I must've missed lots of cannons, whilst in daydreams or mental shut downs.

"13 to go" mutters Seger. We all lay down on the beach, with our blankets wrapped tightly around us as the temperature drops rapidly. I shiver slightly and remember the hot chocolate I had on the train.

"You guys go to sleep, I'll keep watch" I say quietly to them. I considered letting Jotham have some time alone to grieve for Kimberly, but I reckoned from his bloodshot eyes when I sat next to him at that tree in the meadow he already has. I sit staring into the night for a while, sipping on my water. The images of Kimberly, the boy from 11 and Estella run through my mind like our chariots on a nonstop loop, coming and going, over and over and over again. The blood, the all white eyes, the hanging limbs all lodge in my vision and I feel sick. I place my head in between my knees and breathe deeply. I allow myself to grieve for poor, innocent, lovely Kimberly, a few tears sliding down the edge of my nose. I picture her shortly cropped dark hair and freckled face, and her kind, hazel eyes smiling. I scoop a handful of sand into my hand and let it fall in between my fingers, whispering my apologies to her every time the grains fall.

Seger wakes and nudges me, his signal to tell me to sleep. I nestle down and stare at the stars until my eyes feel like 50 kilogram weights.

_Day one complete. _I think grimly as my eyes begin to droop.

_At least I'm not dead yet. I''l tell them about the Arena if I wake up._

* * *

Helloooo! I'm sorry if this is a bit mish mash everywhere, I went to the orthodontist and had these god awful twin block braces fitted yesterday and I've been cranky and unable to speak since.

So I needed to get the rest of the first day out of the way, and a confrontation with the Careers never hurts!

Hope you enjoyed it, three words- Suzanne Collins owns.

-G :)


	9. Chapter 9

9: Farewells

I wake to the sound of cannon, cutting sharply through the sweet, night air. I bolt upright and look to my left; Jotham has woken and also sitting up, but Seger is nowhere. I bolt up and look around me, desperate to just see his silhouette in the darkness.

"Seger?" I call into the night. No reply. Where is he? I begin running out frantically, trying to find him.

"Seger!" I scream "SEGER!" I'm half crying, half choking on my own voice as I scream his name, not caring about whether it gives away our whereabouts. Suddenly I crash in to a sturdy figure that's undoubtedly him.

"Where did you go? I thought you were dead!" I gasp between tears.

"I heard something, girl from 9 was creeping up on us, trying to get to the supplies, and probably kill us. I had to" He says regretfully, obviously referring to the cannon. I calm my crying down as he awkwardly pats my shoulder, and we head back. Jotham is on high alert with his axe and when we appear in to his vision he goes to throw it until he recognises us.

I insist Seger sleeps as he took over Jotham's watch, but he refuses, so we all sit together, watching the sun come up. We make breakfast from some leftover berries and nuts we had in our bags, and drink some water.

"So, what're the plans for today?" asks Jotham.

"I don't really know, the Careers are injured and unwell, and none of us want to kill anyone..." I say.

"Why don't we explore the Arena a bit more?" Seger suggests. Jotham shrugs and I nod, so it's settled. We all rise and walk in the opposite direction to yesterday. After a while I decide now is the perfect time to explain my theory.

"Well, I guess now is a good time to tell you I worked out the Arena" I tell them as they both look at me quizzically. "This whole Arena is split into 12 sections; each one contains a Cornucopia filled with essential items relating to one District that it also specialized in. Like how Seger and I immediately noticed the lake, and the Cornucopia contained flasks, the item was water. You had to swim to get there. District 4- the fishing District. Like how Jotham noticed the trees, and could easily get to the Cornucopia, which contained axes. District 7- the lumber and paper District" I explain. Jotham clicks his tongue and Seger smiles.

"Annie, you're a genius" He says. I smile and look down as we carry on through the wasteland.

* * *

Eventually we reach new terrain, this looks different, it's rocky and uneven, and I can visibly see mines placed everywhere. Connecting them all together are wires, thousands upon thousands of them. I guess you're supposed to join them correctly to turn them off and get to the Cornucopia. This is no place for us- A rope maker, a fisherman's boy and a lumberjack. District 3 or 5, surely. I look at the boys to see what their view is, and I can tell by their doubtful expressions they agree with me. We all move on in silence; the breeze blowing softly against us. We reach another rocky area, the grass dips down slightly as the rocky canopy leans over it- a cave.

"Should we have a look?" I ask. They nod and we walk down the slope into the cave. Inside it is pitch black and very, very cold. This must be District 12's coal mine. We wander around for a while; the cave is very wide but not particularly long. I can hear a bird whistling sweetly from somewhere. Suddenly I trip, and land on some kind of plate. I hear it click, and the bird stops singing. This can't be good.

"We need to get out of here" I whisper. I get up and we start running back to the cave entrance, about 100 metres away, and just jump out as an explosion rips through it, I can barely hear two cannons go off at the same time.

I'm instantly reminded of my parents' death, and I hold my hands over my ears and breathe in and out deeply a few times before regaining composure. Seger and Jotham both sit on the stubby grass, shocked by the sheer force of the explosion. There must've been two people in there when that went off, we killed two people.

I look back in the entrance of the cave, but all I can see is blackened rock and ash floating about before settling on the ground. I place my head in my hands and try to convince myself we didn't kill those Tributes, the explosion did. It did it did it did.

It takes me a while to notice the burn on my forearm, and when I see the raw and fiery flesh I gasp and grit my teeth against the pain. I fumble in my pack for some water and pour it straight over my burn. I can practically hear it fizz and I hiss in pain, blinking back tears. I hear a parachute next to me, and I hastily open it. Inside is a pot of cream, with the note-

**_Put this on the burn, and bandage it up. Keep doing what you're doing, (except exploring caves filled with bombs) and at this rate you'll all be the final 3. Just make sure to get some real rest tonight, Sleeping Beauty._**

**_-F_**

I mouth thank you at the sky, and walk to the boys, who have only received minor burns. I give them some cream anyway, and I slather some over my arm. I sigh in pleasure as I feel the heat being drawn out, and the skin blistering over. I wrap a bandage from the District 11 Cornucopia round it, and secure it with a knot.

"So... What next?" Seger asks

"I'm not really up for anymore exploring right now" Jotham laughs.

"Maybe we could wait until tomorrow?" I suggest. The boys both agree, so we begin to look for a new camp.

* * *

We come across a large field of grain, District 9. Knowing both their Tributes are dead we head in, the yellowy plants scrape my knees, making a scratching sound against the fabric of the jumpsuit. We find a clearing containing the Cornucopia and decide to set up there. I go into the Cornucopia and I'm bewildered by the sheer mass of food in there, bread from every District piles high everywhere, vegetables in crates litter the floor, and nuts and beans hang in bags from the top. I instantly take as many District 4 loaves as possible and dump them in front of the boys, who are sharpening their weapons.

"Jotham, what bread is from District 7?" I ask. He gets up and heads inside, and his eyes also widen at all the food. He picks up an armful of thick, deep brown loaves, littered with a few seeds on top. He carries them like babies and puts them down next to our loaves, which Seger has already helped himself to. I go back in and bring out a crate of assorted vegetables, and then several bags of nuts and beans.

We all have what could be considered a feast, the salty bready reminds me firmly of home, and we pick out some vegetables we recognise. I'm nibbling on a carrot when we hear a shriek in the distance. We all turn our heads towards it and watch, a few minutes later 2 cannons boom consecutively.

"Well, whatever is over there, we're not going" I say. They both nod and I pull my blanket out my bag and wrap it around me. We eat until we feel sick, and even then we all cram a little bit more food in. The anthem plays and the faces of the dead show. The girl from 9 who Seger killed, the two people who must've died in the cave- the boy from 3 and girl from 6, and the two people who died with the scream- the girl from 8 and the girl from 11. 5 more are dead. 11 yesterday, 6 today...

That six is us and the Careers.

"It's just us" I whisper.

"Yeah," says Seger

I hear some rustling and Jotham is stood up. I look questioningly at him, and he smiles sadly at me.

"Annie, Seger, it's been great being your ally, but it's just us and the Careers, I don't want it to end up just us three," I know where he's going with this.

"Jotham," I begin

"No, I've got to go. I have to. Good luck" he says sadly "You both deserve it" his voice cracks on the last two words, and I spring up and hug him, starting to cry.

"Don't get yourself in trouble" I choke

"I'll try not to" he promises. He slaps Seger on the back, and just like that, he's turned round, and is heading into the folds of darkness from the night, and is gone.

It's just us, the Career Districts, in a two versus one free for all.

And now I know I'm going to have to fight.

* * *

A/n- Hi there, you amazing people! New chapter, I didn't want to kill off Jotham, I've bonded with him :( So he's left. Bam. Gone into the night! Just Annie and Seger now, with the watchful eyes of Finnick and Mags observing their every move, ooh!

Suzanne Collins ect ect ect ect.

-G :)


	10. Chapter 10

10: Cordelia

I watch out into the darkness, letting silent tears trickle down my cheeks, getting stuck on my jaw or falling in the crease of my lips. I watch and wait, wait for Jotham to come back, so we can take on the Careers together. I watch and wait, watch and wait, watch and wait for what seems like eternity.

"He isn't coming back Annie, you know that, right?" Seger says softly into the night. Of course I know. But I don't, I do but I don't. I can just about see his face so he must be able to see mine. I nod violently, trying to knock it into my head that Seger is right. He is, of course. But he isn't. He isn't he isn't he isn't.

We sit in a pain tinted silence for the night; I still watch the spot where he left. Where is he now? Fighting the Careers? Exploring District sections? Allying with the Careers to take us down? I shudder at the last thought. No. He wouldn't ever do that.

"Annie, go to sleep now, you're exhausted"

"You haven't slept since the Games started" I say shakily. Seger reaches into his pack and pulls out a small plastic sheet lined with foil- tablet casing.

"Mags sent me these on the first day," he begins. The pills are golden like the Cornucopia and seem to glow slightly in the dark. "The Mentors take them when the Games start, it keeps you awake and you don't become tired. I don't need sleep." He explains.

"Why?" I ask. He shrugs.

"I don't know... Better chances, I'm more alert, safety, protecting you."

Protecting me? Why me? Why does everybody want to protect me?! I'm nothing to the Capitol, just a girl from one of the Districts who has managed to stay alive at the expense of other people. _Don't think that. _I tell myself. I turn to look at Seger, who is turning the tray round in his fingers.

"Protecting me?"

"Yes, protecting you. Since the Reaping I've realised just how much you deserve to win. You're so innocent, I saw you let that girl from 1 go free. You're just good. There's no other word for it. You cried on the train when you thought you upset me, you waited patiently while Chiara moaned at you, you let the prep team do god knows what without a complaint. You cried when you saw your sister upset at the Reaping, you didn't care about yourself, only her... I almost think of you as my sweet little sister, who as a brother has a job to protect..." He trails off. I can feel a tear coming to my eye, and I rest my head on his shoulder.

"You don't have to do that, Seger. I appreciate it, I really do, but don't risk your life for me" I whisper.

"I don't have to, but I want to" He replies. I'm stumped, and I think through his words as I unwillingly fall asleep, swirling Finnick's bracelet round my wrist. I wonder if it's all a plan to protect me, Finnick, Seger and Mags willing to risk anything to get me out. And I don't know why.

* * *

I wake up to the soft morning light warming my eyelids. I open my eyes heavily and see Seger next to me. He's got something out of his bag and is running it through his hands; it looks like some kind of medallion.

"What's that?" I ask him, craning over to look at it.

"My District token, from Lia," he tells me sadly.

"Lia?"

"Cordelia Jessen, we were going to get engaged the day we both became ineligible" he practically whispers. Just like Jotham. Cordelia must be the girl holding his hand when I was behind them the day before the Reaping. I watch him twirl his medallion around his fingers; he is even risking the happiness of his future fiancée to save me, the medallion is probably the only thing keeping him sane.

I'm near to losing my sanity. Very near, it's not going take much for me to go over the edge, Finnick's bracelet is a soother, but it isn't a bandage.

I suggest breakfast a while later, and we snack on nuts and bread. I decide to try some bread from District 7, it's very sweet and chewy, and I find little bits of crushed fruits inside; it's a lovely change from the bland stuff we've been consuming. I eat nearly a whole loaf of the stuff until my stomach can't stretch to fit more in.

"Have we got any plans for today?" I ask. Seger shakes his head as he dreamily watches the swaying grain stalks being tinted lighter by the sweet sun rays. It's true, we're not hunting the Careers down and Jotham's gone, we have plenty of food here, and we won't run out of water anytime soon. We have more weapons than District 4's entire Peacekeeping squadron, and this is nice, relaxing. Sometimes it doesn't even feel as if were in the Arena.

* * *

At some point during the day I get restless, I rise and wander to the grain stalks, breaking a few smaller pieces off of the large, thick, golden foundations. I got back and begin weaving a bracelet, braiding it round, occasionally incorporating blades of grass it. By the time I'm done the bracelet planned is the size of a necklace so I hang it under my hair instead.

Afternoon comes and goes peacefully. We both don't need to talk as the silence is comfortable and welcomed. Dusk arrives and the horizon gets closer to us, the colours become more muted and greyscale. It grows warm and the grain makes a near crackling sound around us. I'm drifting into sleep when Seger shakes me back to my senses.

"Annie, grab what you can and run" he says urgently. I turn around and see a sunset orange glow illuminating around the back of the Cornucopia. The crackling is singeing grain and flames as they crackle and snap through the field. This isn't a nice warm evening, this is a fire.

High on adrenaline I grab my backpack, hastily stuffing 3 loaves of bread into my backpack and pick up four knives and three of Seger's spears, and were both sprinting through the field. I can tell he is struggling to keep up with me, running is one of the only things I can do without hurting myself or other people. The barley and wheat stems scratch against my hand as we run for our lives against the fire that's sweeping carelessly and effortlessly towards us. I run out of breath after a few hundred metres but we can't stop, not now. The weight of the weapons in my left arm is making me lean over, and the backpack now feels like it weighs 120 pounds. But I don't stop, I carry on until every limb, every organ, every living cell inside my body is begging for me to stop, screaming in protest as I force them to move. My heart feels like heavy rain on a metal plate, drumming quickly and loudly through my chest and ears. The fire is gaining on us, the smoke begins making me choke throwing my breathing off track, and it's lapping at my feet, teasing and taunting me in an attempt to get me to succumb to its raging, scalding inside. We reach the wasteland again but stumble for another few metres before collapsing in a heap of choking, wheezing, panting and gasping. I clutch my sides as a stitch so powerful it could knock down a house courses through them. I choke and gag, my body unable to adapt to the fiery conditions. The back of my hamstring is burnt on my right leg, the flames have scorched and obliterated the jumpsuit around it and pink, hissing flesh rages violently. I give myself a few minutes to regain a breathing pattern and just lay on the ground, the pain from my leg spreading around me. I remember the cream Finnick sent, and I fumble around for it and find it, spreading it thickly all over the burn. The result is brilliant as it was last time, and I gulp down a flask and a half of water to cease the sandpaper feel of my throat.

"You ok?" Seger says coarsely after a while. I nod and place a bit of bread in my mouth. "Well they're smart, I'll give them that" he mutters.

"Smart?" I wheeze

"That fire wasn't natural. They started it to get us out the field because they want us closer to the Careers. They'll do anything for the show." He says. I agree with him, but that last sentence should not have been spoken, it's borderline treason. I decide to leave it, we're camp less now, we have enough food for another day, but after that we'll have to forage.

"What now?" I ask.

"New camp, I guess"

"Where haven't we been?" We haven't been a lot of places, but we need somewhere convenient, with decent protection and a good supply of stuff" I list off. Seger looks thoughtfully at the ground, and I notice little bits on black dust, presumably from the grain, in his blonde hair.

"I'd say District 2. I went there on a trip a few years ago, there's a mountain there called the Nut. I reckon there's gonna be a resemblance, with a Cornucopia inside. We can go to the top and just camp out. Only risk is them catching us"

He has a point, I went to District 2 a few years ago too, the mountain is huge, and seeing as 2 only uses the inside of the mountain the Cornucopia will be inside it somewhere, not on top.

"Good idea" I agree, and once again, we're up and moving. I try to comply with the complaints of my exhausted limbs until we're at the base of the mountain, when we both begin hastily climbing. The cannon shoots through the Arena when my legs start wailing in protest again. It's so, so hard to ignore them. But I do, and soon enough we've found a small inversion in the face of the mountain. We stumble inside and slump on the cold, stone floor. I pull my blanket out of the backpack and wrap it tightly round me like a shield.

"I have some cloth and a tiny bit of wood Jotham gave me in my bag, should we make a fire?" Seger suggests. It can't hurt, its freezing, the Careers are most likely below us, and if they're not we can easily see them approaching from up here. I nod and he pulls a small log and several small bandages from his bag. I remember the matches I found in mine earlier today, and I try and stop my hands from shaking so I can strike one. I manage to and we get a small fire glowing, giving off a soft glow and a bit of heat into this dingy and cold cave. We sit in quiet again for a few hours, until I gather the courage to ask

"Seger, what happened to Irving?"

Seger looks over at me and takes a deep breath.

"He was Reaped 9 years ago. We all believed in him, everyone did, he allied with the Careers, as most do, and they went around, killing off other Tributes. It wasn't nice, seeing your own brother kill other people in such an unforgiving way, my Mother was distraught, my Father refused to watch, so I just sat and watched alone. Then the third day came, same day as now, when they told him to get water from the pond about 50 metres away, he had his back to them, and one of them threw an axe at him. He died straight away" I feel tears welling when his voice breaks "But the hovercraft didn't come on time," His voice cuts off behind a wall of tears.

"In time for what?" I ask softly.

"You could see everything, brains and blood. The laughing from the Careers..." he whispers.

"Oh, Seger" I say, scooting over to him to sit by his side, putting my head on his shoulder. He looks down at the floor, and I can hear the noises of tears he is desperately trying to shield. "It's okay, you can cry" I tell him. He shakes his head and stares coldly into the fire.

A small crunching sound comes from outside the cave.

"Did you hear that?" I ask. He nods.

"Yeah, I'll go check it out" He gets up and heads to the mouth of the cave, and I follow shortly after. I run my hands along the walls of the cave, the entrance so tight I barely have to stretch my arms.

"_ANNIE RUN!" _I hear Seger shout. Run? No, not without him. I run to the cave mouth and spin. Seger is held in a chokehold by Aziah.

"_NO! SEGER! GET OFF OF HIM! TAKE ME!" _I scream, running to them. Seger is trying to resist against Aziah but he just holds him tighter. I'm suddenly caught in a iron tight grip and hear the arrogant whisper of Cartier in my ear.

"Oh no you don't, 4"

"Get off of him!" I screech. I don't care if they kill me, just don't kill Seger. Please. I continue struggling against Cartier, but my attempts are useless, he's too strong.

"Now, 4" Aziah begins, freeing one hand to pull a hatchet from his belt, "you're both going to learn why you should've allied with us"

I stare in horror as Aziah delicately traces around Seger's neck with the hatchet, sneering cockily. He isn't. He can't do that.

"We're going to kill you just as we did your brother" he sneers. Just as they did his brother.

Just as they did his brother.

* * *

A/n-

Hi! So sorry about no chapter yesterday, I'm at my grandparents this weekend so didn't get the chance to finish it, but here we are! There (should) be one tomorrow, fingers crossed!

-G :)


	11. Chapter 11

11: Insanity.

"No!" I choke "Please, please don't, hurt me hurt me instead!"

"Annie, don't say that!" Seger says desperately. I'm thrashing against the grip of Cartier around me wildly, trying to get out. Aziah is still tracing a line round Seger's neck, pressing in every time he resists causing a bead of rich, scarlet blood to appear. After several blood beads have emerged from his neck he gives up, and I start shouting things uncomprehending even to me. I get elbowed roughly in the ribs several times, causing my cries to shift to a high pitched whimper, especially when I hear the crunch of one of them.

"I think now is the perfect time" Aziah smiles evilly. He places the blade at Seger's neck and presses. He flinches slightly as blood appears and I gag. He presses more, more blood, more wincing, and more gagging. He presses more, more blood, now hissing, and more gagging. He presses more, more blood, now gasping, and now shrieking. The heavy gash in Seger's neck is oozing blood and I watch it, wide eyes as plates with horror as Seger breathes heavily in and out. Aziah raises the knife, and Seger looks up at me.

'Look after yourself' he mouths. The knife is higher; higher, higher, higher.

"NO!" I screech as the blade comes down with incredible force and the grinding sound of flesh on metal whips through the air. I flail recklessly and end up kicking Cartier in the thigh. He curses and he lets go of me, and I close my eyes, but not quick enough to miss the head of my District partner falling to the ground, eyes glazed and mouth tight in the clutches of death.

* * *

I turn and jump.

I jump off the mountain face, and I'm rolling, tumbling, and rolling, falling, tumbling down, down, down, down the mountain, limbs in awkward angles and skin bruising as I crash and fall. I stumble to my feet, and run. I run to the only place I feel half safe here; the beach. After a while of frantically sprinting I reach it. I fall onto the sand, clamp my hands over my ears, squeeze my eyes shut and scream. Oh god, I scream. I scream nonstop for at least an hour when my voice cuts off, when I just resort to silent shrieks. I scream everything out of me, every feeling, emotion, thought, and life is screamed away, gone. Gone, gone, and gone, forever, and ever, and ever. When there is nothing left to scream away I turn to crying. I sob hysterically through closed eyes, gasping and choking on the air. I pull my hands violently through my hair, tearing out large clumps. Night has long gone when I stop, and morning has begun to rise. The sun is beautiful, the only nice thing on this wretched Earth. I keep my hands over my ears but open my eyes, and am met with a sight I don't want to see. Blood. Everywhere. Scarlet absorbing into the sand as the red water ripples on the lake. The sky is oozing and dripping blood, and people are sitting with me, they're covered in blood too. It stains their torn up clothes, runs down their peeling skin, and hangs off their matted hair. I choke, wretch and gag, bringing up all the food I've digested in a while, I go until there's only bile left. Good, more life gone.

_They want to kill you Annie, tell them to. _A voice. A strange voice.

"Kill me, kill me, kill me kill me kill me kill me" I mumble "Kill me. Kill me. Kill me. _Kill me_. Kill me! _Kill me!_ _KILL ME!"_ I scream. Closing my eyes tightly shut again.

_Yes, tell them to kill you, Annie. They want to. They're trying to. Stop fighting. Let them. _

The soft voice is talking to me. I don't want to be talked to.

"Leave me alone!" I screech.

_No, Annie. I can't. Not until someone kills you_.

"WELL KILL ME THEN!"

I hear something hit the sand and fumble blindly around. I feel the cool metal of a parachute, one of Finnick's parachutes. I manage to unscrew it and find the note, which I bring so close to my face any other sight is blocked.

**_Annie, darling, stay strong, it will all be over soon. It will. Remember what I promised you, you're coming out alive. I need you, you need me. Don't go, not yet._**

**_-F_**

Finnick, Finnick. Finnick Finnick Finnick. I need to stay alive for Finnick. He needs me. He does. I pull the note away and look into the parachute- bread. Lots of it. I can't eat though. Not now. I put the bread down and hunch myself over and begin sobbing again.

The rest of the day goes like this:  
Screaming, crying, shouting, voices, and hallucinations. Screaming, crying, shouting, voices, hallucinations, and food from Finnick. Screaming, shouting, voices, hallucinations, and crying. Then the whole process repeated. Again, and again, and again. The sky grows grey and stormy, and my hair whips around my head. I don't move, I can't. I can't do a lot of things now. I hear another parachute and open it.

**_Annie, remember what your favourite thing from home is, and what you used to do in it. Then do it, as hard and as much as you can. Get to high land, quickly._**

**_-F_**

My favourite thing right now is death. But from back home it's Mari. But she is who, not a what. What, what, what. I hear a crack. It doesn't sound like a cannon, it sounds like an earthquake. I look up timidly and see a huge crack in the wall of the dam. The sea. My favourite thing is the sea. And you swim in the sea. You swim.

I just have time to piece it together when the whole dam wall collapses as if it was a castle of playing cards. I scramble back as a humungous; crashing wave comes sliding towards me. Sea, swimming, sea, swimming. The wave is nearer, and nearer, and nearer. Until it sweeps me up. I tumble and turn in the current, like you sometimes do if you're unfortunate enough to be caught in a large wave at home. I flap about, trying to find what way is up. I see a light and that must be it, I'm losing oxygen fast so I move frantically towards it and break the surface long enough to gasp a few breaths before I'm dragged back under. I hear 1, 2, Cannons boom as the dam water carries me. I swirl and twirl, spin and tumble. I can't find up anymore, so I close my eyes and let the water take me as my chest tightens and mind shuts down. I remember the thought of the noose on the train- _must be a peaceful way to die, to just stop breathing_.

**Boom**. A Cannon; the third Cannon. I know what that means.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, the Victor of the 70th Hunger Games, Annie Cresta!"

Victor. 70th Hunger Games. Annie. Hunger Games. Annie. Victor.

The wave stops abruptly, and I automatically end up floating to the top, my hearing is going and my mind is fading away, and I refuse to start breathing. I'm slipping peacefully away, I can feel a warm envelope of light surrounding me and pulling me up.

_I'm sorry, Finnick. I'm sorry Seger. I'm sorry Mari. I love you all._

Suddenly I'm surrounded by frantic voices, and beeping of mechanics. I open my eyes slightly and see the concerned and analyzing faces of Capitol doctors watching me. I'm not dead.

_No, you're not dead Annie. You didn't do what I said did you?_

Go away.

_You didn't die, so you're going to pay for it._

How?

_Oh, you'll see._

"Kill me now then!" I shout. The doctors whisper something and I screech in protest as they jab something in my arm. I'm drifting off; maybe they have let me die. Hopefully they have let my die. Hopefully.

* * *

A/n-

Hi! Writing this chapter broke my heart :( To make up for no chapter on friday I'll try write 2 today! Hope you guys liked this, I think writing as the 'insane' Annie will be hard, but its a challenge! Please pick me up on any flaws cause I'll fix them!

-G :)


	12. Chapter 12

12: Voices

I'm not dead. Not yet, anyway. The injection has closed off my sight and speech, but I can still hear everything going on, and I can think. It's like being trapped in a dark room with duct tape round your mouth, only half knowing what's going on outside. I can hear machines beeping and buzzing, the concerned voices of doctors and the noises of things being dragged across the floor, opening and closing of doors and pens on paper. I need to know what's going on, I need to know what they're doing to me. This goes on for eternity, the voices, the beeping, the scratching, it's endless.

Eventually my eyelids rise heavily. The light is white and blinding, and I go to sit up when I notice the restraints round my wrists and legs. What's happening? I look frantically round the room for a familiar face, but all I see are white tiles, curtains and machines. I don't like this; I don't like this at all. Ahead of me is a pane of glass, but I can't see through it. I suspect there are doctors behind there and fall back on to the hard pillow supporting my neck. I hear the door click open and I see a woman in a white coat walk through. I stare warily at her, and gasp as her body begins to distort itself- her jaw becoming more prominent, her lilac hair shortening and darkening until it is jet black, her slim figure becoming taller and more muscular; until the sneering face of Aziah is staring down at me. I scream in horror as he comes towards me, he has a clipboard and pen in his hands and is watching me slyly. I shut my eyes and try to cover my ears, tugging violently against the restraints. Only they're not restraints anymore, they're the iron strong grip of Cartier. I scream even harder, shaking my head wildly around.

"Miss Cresta" Aziah's voice is strangely formal and monotone "We need you to cooperate with us"

"No! Stop it! You killed him! YOU KILLED HIM!" I cry manically, thrashing around. Why hasn't he killed me yet? He killed Seger so quickly, but he's just watching me.

"No, we want to help you" He says, watching me coolly. He doesn't want to help me, he wants to kill me.

"How can you say that?! You killed him! You did! You did!"

Aziah looks exasperatedly at me. Why is he annoyed? He killed Seger! Why would he do that? Why? Why?!

"Miss Cresta, in order for us to help you, you need to listen to me."

Listen? Listen?! No, never. How dare he say he wants to help. How dare he?

"You evil son of a bitch! YOU KILLED SEGER! DON'T COME NEAR ME! GET AWAY!" I scream, shutting my eyes tightly again as I begin hysterically sobbing.

_Annie, tell them to come closer. You want to die, don't you?_

Yes, I do, but I have to stay alive for Finnick. Finnick. Where's Finnick? I don't know whether Aziah has left me alone yet, but one thing is for sure, he hasn't killed me. I open my eyes a fraction and see Aziah has gone now, and that woman with the purple hair from a minute ago replaces him. She's writing something on a board in black marker pen.

'_Mentally Insane'_

Insane, that's a new word. A fitting word as well. I close my eyes tightly again, for hours and hours. Several doctors come in but I refuse to acknowledge their presence, I just keep my eyes closed and my mouth shut. It's only when I feel a soft hand on mine I come back to my senses.

"Mags?" I whisper.

"Yes, dear. I'm right here" It's definitely Mags, her soft, floaty voice is so comforting.

"They want me dead. The people, the doctors... The voice" I choke, opening my eyes.

_I_ _don't want you dead, I need you dead._

Mags clucks disapprovingly and pats my arm. She looks over at the doctor standing at the end of the room.

"Leave the poor girl alone, she doesn't want you in here" she scolds. I decide I like Mags being here, she knows what I want. She stares me in the eyes reassuringly.

"Where's Finnick?" I whisper after a while of silence. She smiles sadly.

"He's trying to get off Capitol business to see you dear, he's trying his hardest" she insists. Capitol business. President Snow organises Capitol Business, why won't he let him off? The purple haired woman, who I've nicknamed Mauve comes back in and demands Mags leaves. She protests at first, but then security is called and she is forced to leave. I look hopelessly at the door, waiting for her to return, but she doesn't.

Doctors try to talk to me but I ignore them, the only person I want to talk to is Finnick. They ask me questions patiently, then angrily. They tell me things, like they want to help. They don't. A while later a man with white hair enters later and roughly takes my arm, then jabs another needle in it. I don't react, I don't have the will. My whole body tingles, then my eyes freeze open; everything else moves, just not them.

They flick a projector at the back of the room, and the Capitol crest appears, then four people walking through a field. Kimberly, Jotham, Seger and me. I gasp and begin hyperventilating. No. No no no no no!

I sob hysterically when Kimberly and the boy from 11, who I learn is named Carmel, die. I thrash and screech when they show Jotham leaving us, and when Seger and I run from the fire. These people are evil. I can't close my eyes, I can't stop watching. I hear angry voices from outside; probably discussing my insanity. When Aziah has Seger in his clutches I can't hold on anymore; I start screaming for them to stop it, I can't watch, I can't. They show the beheading in full view and I scream bloodcurdlingly, so loud I feel my voice box struggling.

"Annie!" The door flings open and a frantic looking Finnick bursts in. Finnick. Finally. He sees the projector playing my Games and suddenly adopts a side I've never seen; he's angry, livid even. He picks up the projector and smashes it on the floor and starts shouting at the Doctor, who just looks at him, bored. I'm sobbing uncontrollably now, the full beheading replaying over in my head. The Doctor says something inaudible and Finnick pins him against the wall.

"Finnick!" I say. He stops and turns to look at me, letting go of the Doctor, who stumbles blindly back behind the glass. He walks over and crouches by the bed, taking my hand.

"How's my lovely Victor?" he asks softly. I start crying again and he strokes my head, making comforting shushing sounds.

"The voice" I say. He nods and carries on stroking through my hair. "It says..." my sentence cuts off half way through, and I'm unable to say anything more. He doesn't look concerned, or annoyed, or worried. He just looks calm and understanding. He doesn't ask for the rest of the sentence, but starts his own.

"Snow tried to keep me on... Capitol business, but I managed to get away, if anyone comes don't say anything, they're after me," I look desperately at him; he can't go, not now. "I'm not going though, don't worry"

"It says... I, I... Need to..." I choke "Die." I cry.

"Hey, hey, it's ok Sleeping Beauty, I'm not going to let them hurt you anymore, ok?" he whispers. I nod, and we sit quietly for a while. The doctors try and intervene but Finnick tells them to go away.

Somebody raps sharply on the door and enters before a yes or no can be spoken. It is a very large man, with glasses shielding his face and a black suit with the Capitol crest on the chest stands by the bed.

"Finnick Odair," he begins.

"Tell Snow whatever he wants me to do or see can wait." He says bluntly.

"President Snow has requested your presence immediately" the man says coolly.

"President Snow can wait. Threaten all you want, I'll do it later." Finnick is glaring at the man. The man nods, expressionless, and then turns.

"I will make arrangements to have any consequences delivered to you" he says, before strolling out the door. Once it clicks shut Finnick sighs and turns back to me.

"Don't go" I whimper.

"I won't, I'll keep the voices away" he whispers.

I smile slightly, and he grins back at me.

"Thank you"

"That's more than fine, darling. I _am_ your Mentor after all"

* * *

A/n-

Hi! Right so in advance, if there is no daily chapters soon is because my houses' wifi is down !*sobs*

It should be back in around a weeks time, and I'll be making regular trips to my nans house to get some wifi and update, so theres probably going to be chunk updates (1 or 2 chapters at once)

I'm so, so, SO sorry in advance for any missed days :'(

-G :)


	13. Chapter 13

13: Gone

Finnick doesn't leave my side for the duration of the next 2 days. He manages to coax a small amount of food into me, but I throw it up soon after. He sits and talks to me, and I listen. He talks about home- stories of helping his Mother collect the perfect shells and glass for her jewellery as I watch the bracelet on my wrist, just visible next to the metal restraints. The voice returns a few times, and I close my eyes tightly and try not to scream as Finnick whispers soothingly to me. The Doctors keep trying to intervene, but I shut them out and Finnick will shout violent words at them. I feel very tired and drift into sleep a few times, only to wake from terrifying nightmares. I don't talk, I don't need to. I do when necessary, but only to Finnick.

"I remember the first time I got drunk" Finnick laughs softly to himself, "I was 15, me and my friends were camping on the beach, and one of us has smuggled bottles of liquor down, we all drank because everyone else did, it tasted _awful, _we got seriously drunk, I walked into the sea naked and got hypothermia" he laughs. I watch him contently as he smiles to himself; not his usual seductive one, but the humble, kind one. The one I like.

_Don't get to attached Annie; you're going to kill yourself soon, aren't you?_

"Stop it, go away" I mumble. Finnick looks up into my eyes and knows immediately I'm not talking to him.

_I can't go away, not until you die. Not until you're gone. I'm going to make sure you die, Annie. You need to._

"I don't need to die!" I wail "Stop it!"

Finnick holds my hands as I shift uncomfortably. The voice is gone, it just echoes round and round and round my mind.

"You ok?" he asks. I nod, and he goes to start another story, but the suited Capitol man barges in again. I last saw him 2 days ago, but it feels like minutes. I manually shut down and refuse to acknowledge his presence fully.

"Mr Odair," he starts.

"No" Finnick retorts.

"You're needed outside; President Snow wants to talk with you." He finishes. I'm watching Finnick and can see a little bit of colour fade from his bronze, tanned skin.

"I'm just outside, okay?" he says softly. No, he can't leave me. Not now. He releases his hand from my grasp as he gets up and gives me a small smile before following the man. For a while I can hear the voices of Finnick and Snow outside, until Finnick storms back in, looking very angry. He sits back on the edge of my bed again, and it takes me a while to notice Snow's presence in the doorway. I shut my eyes tightly, but I can still feel his snakelike eyes burning into me.

"Miss Cresta," he starts formally "I have come to congratulate you on your Victory" I don't want congratulations, I want commiserations; this is hell. Finnick scoffs disgustedly before Snow continues.

"But I have a problem. You have been deemed mentally unfit by the Doctors to appear on live TV,"

"She's not 'mentally unfit!'" Finnick snaps as I open my eyes. Snow ignores him.

"And you are refusing to communicate or acknowledge anyone but Mr Odair," very true. Finally someone noticed. "And the people of the Capitol are becoming restless; you should've had your interview by now, they don't like to wait.

"So I'm giving you a choice,"

"A choice, nice wording." Finnick mutters.

"A choice to either co-operate, or face the consequences."

Consequences, what else could he possibly do?

"What are they?" I mumble. Snow looks pleased he's got a reaction out of me, Finnick still looks livid.

"The consequences are that you adopt the same Capitol duties as Mr Odair."

Finnick jumps up, his fists balled so tight his fingers are turning white.

"You wouldn't dare," he growls. Snow looks at him blandly.

"Oh, but Finnick, I would. What power do you have against me?" he asks friendlily. Finnick smiles menacingly at him, and I wonder whether he does have something to use against Snow.

"I have more than you think Snow, I don't deal in money anymore. I deal in _secrets_," deal? Why would he deal something? "And some of them show that you're not exactly who you make out to be."

Snow seems stumped slightly, what secret is so important it could take away his power?

"Well then, we have struck up a deal, you continue your business in the Capitol, and I shall not touch the girl" he decides, nodding at me. Finnick looks at him coolly, and nods. "Well, now we have come to an agreement. 2 weeks, Odair, if she is not ready then, the deal is withdrawn"

And just like that, President Snow is gone. Finnick stares tensely at the door before turning back to me. What is his Capitol business? And why does he not want me taking over half? He smiles and sits back on the bed as if nothing happened.

"What was that about?" I ask. He shakes his head

"Nothing for you to worry about, darling, if you don't want to go on TV I won't let them make you,"

I sigh in relief; I don't want to go on TV. Not at all.

* * *

Mags comes to visit a while later, she brings a cookie with her and gives it to me, I smile gratefully and take it, but I know I won't be able to keep it. She discusses Snow's meeting with Finnick angrily, making comments every now and again. She leaves and I manage to keep down one bite of the cookie and Finnick starts dancing round the room shouting, which makes me laugh. I didn't think I'd ever laugh again.

Night falls and the Doctors change shift, purple hair comes back and begins writing something new on the board.

'Refusing to cooperate. Post traumatic shock, hallucinations. Mentally unstable. Insane.'

"Take that off right now." Finnick orders, but the woman just looks at him expressionlessly and shakes her head before leaving, so Finnick rubs it off himself.

"You're not insane, don't listen to them" he insists.

_Yes you are Annie, aren't you? They say you're mad, but you're more than that, you're crazy, aren't you Annie? You're crazy._

"I am, I am I am I am" I cry, shaking my head. "The voice says I am the voice, the voice!"

"The voice is lying, you're as normal as I am" he says. I don't believe him, I am crazy. I am, I am I am I am. Finnick falls asleep in a chair sometime later, but I don't sleep, the nightmares are too bad. I stay awake almost all night, until sleep takes over entirely.

* * *

I'm back home again, with Mari, but this time were on the beach. Her eyes are still haunted and possessed looking, but she isn't trying to kill herself.

"Mari?"

"Yeah?"

"Am I insane?" I whisper. Mari hugs me and talks into my hair

"No, of course you aren't baby, the Capitol's crazy, not you" she soothes. Its nice, being with her.

"I miss you" I say.

"I'm going to miss you too, I love you" she chokes. 'I'm going to?' what does that mean? She looks up and closes her eyes, and I turn to see Aziah, knife in hand, sprinting towards us. I barely have time to register and scream before his knife as slipped through her neck like warm butter.

* * *

I wake screaming, Doctors are watching me seriously, and I turn for Finnick, but he's not there.

He's gone, he's left me.

"Finnick?" I call. "Finnick?! FINNICK?!" I carry on saying his name until I'm screaming it desperately, but he doesn't come. He lied, he's gone.

Suddenly the door swings open and he rushes in, followed by one of the men who I recognise as a Gamemaker.

"Hey, hey, I'm right here!" he says, crouching by me. The Gamemaker stands awkwardly by the door.

"I thought you'd left me!" I wail.

"No, never. I was just talking to Plutarch about..." he cuts off. Plutarch walks forwards and looks at Finnick.

"About time we told her, Finnick" he says. Finnick looks down and the floor and nods. Tell me what? He goes to the corner of the room and unhooks some wires, presumably cameras and microphones, and takes a chair and looks me straight in the eye.

"Annie, my name is Plutarch Heavensbee, I am a Gamemaker," he begins. Yes, Gamemaker. I gasp and close my eyes, I don't want a person who killed Seger anywhere near me. Finnick takes my hand and squeezes it, and I decide to trust him. I trust Finnick, he's my best friend, so if he trusts Plutarch so do I.

"Finnick and I were just discussing President Snows... request, about you and your interview. It is not only because you will not do the interview Snow is not happy though, it involves Mr Odair too.

"You see, Mr Odair is required to attend Capitol business as he is a Victor, and he hasn't been attending it while looking after you,"

"What _is _this Capitol business?" I ask Finnick, he sighs and carries on staring down.

"That is for another time, Annie. What were focusing on now is the problem. This diversion; of your interview and Finnick's duties, are irritating Snow. He will go to drastic lengths to get you to do it, and his classic move is family. He will target those you love the most."

"Mari. No. They can't hurt her, they can't!" I shriek.

"They can, and they will." Plutarch says. I'm sobbing now, and Finnick has my hand again.

"Plutarch," he warns. I'm hysterically crying. He can't touch Mari; she's all I have left. "I think you should go," Plutarch nods and leaves, leaving just us again. Finnick comes to sit beside me on the edge of the bed.

"Did they hurt your family?" I whisper after a while.

"Yes, they killed all of them," he says softly. I lean on his shoulder and he puts his arm round me.

"I'm so sorry"

"It's ok; I've got something to live for"

I look up at him, and he's staring distantly at the wall, his emerald eyes shining in the bright lights of the hospital room.

"What have you got to live for?" I ask, still watching him. He turns his head towards me and smiles slightly.

"You"

* * *

A/n- Hello

I got a chapter out today! I highly doubt that a chapter will be out tommorrow, if there isn't, there will be double on wednesday :)

So sorry about this wifi porblem, its killing me! :(

Suzanne Collins owns the world,

-G :)


	14. Chapter 14

14: Beauty

You. Me. He has me to live for, but why?

"Me?" I ask

"Yes you, you must be the only person I've met since I won my Games who treats me like a real, normal person. I need you, before the Games you were something of a comfort blanket to me, you kept me sane"

I kept him sane, ironic. I'm insane now, what an unfortunate turn of events. I think over his words in silence, still unable to understand why he needs me.

* * *

Night comes and goes again, Finnick sleeps but I don't, I just stare distantly at the wall and try to pretend we're both back home. I know morning has come when the Doctors change shifts, purple hair is back; she's watching my actions as if she'd rather be anywhere but here. It doesn't bother me in the slightest, I feel the same. The day goes as usual with Finnick telling stories and the Doctors watching us. When they approach me and I look their way instead of ignoring them they take off my restraints, and I flex my wrists and fingers happily, and hold my knees to my chest. I'm still deemed 'Mentally unstable and insane' but another word has been added to the list- 'approachable'. It's not like they couldn't approach me before, they were just scared to. Purple hair delivers a note to Finnick and he reads it, as he does he looks so old, it's sometimes hard to believe he's only 19.

"What's that?" I ask him. He folds it away and puts it in the pocket of his jacket.

"Nothing, don't you worry" he smiles. I wish he'd tell me, but it's his business I guess. Yesterdays memories come back, and I ponder over whether Plutarch was just trying to scare me with the warning about Mari, but Snow killed Finnick's family...

_They'll kill her if you don't kill yourself, Annie._

Oh no, not the voice. Stop it.

_You'd rather your sister get killed, than kill yourself?_

"I never said that!" I exclaim.

_But you're implying it Annie. They've taken the restraints off, do it now._

"No! Stop it!" Finnick has stood up, and has come to sit on the bed next to me. The thin hospital gown is making me cold, and he moves closer to me when he notices my shivering.

_You want Mari dead don't you? You'd rather her die than you. _

"Don't hurt Mari! Hurt me instead!" I cry.

_I can't hurt you Annie, only you can hurt yourself. Do it, do it for Mari._

I can't handle the voice any longer, and I begin raking my nails down my arms, leaving thin white scratches. I get up and search round the room for something sharp, but I have no luck, so I just claw at my skin until I bleed. I breathe shallowly and rush around frantically.

"Annie? Annie look at me" Finnick says seriously. I look up at him and he gently takes my hands, moving them away from my raw arms. He leads me to the chairs by the bed and puts his arm round me as I cry into his shoulder. Why doesn't the voice leave me alone? I've done it now, I've hurt myself. Leave Mari alone.

_You haven't hurt yourself enough, Annie._

I wail exasperatedly and cry harder. Stop it, stop it stop it stop it.

_I can't. Not until you kill yourself._

"NO! STOP IT! GO AWAY! KILL ME THEN! JUST GO!" I scream. Finnick murmurs 'its Okays' and 'it's going to be alright's' into my hair as I sob uncontrollably. It's not ok; it won't be alright, never.

It seems that shouting 'kill me' is what stops the voice for a while, it leaves and I curl into Finnick's warm, safe side. We stay there for a few minutes until one of the Doctors comes back in. Only it's not a Doctor anymore, it's President Snow. I hide my face in Finnick's arm, and he tells Snow to go.

"Don't let him hurt me" I whisper.

"Let who hurt you?"

"Snow." I say, pointing towards the glass.

Finnick looks puzzled for a fraction of a second when he realizes I must've been hallucinating. There was no Snow... Was there? I can't tell the difference anymore. It is still the middle of the night, as the Doctors haven't swapped yet, and I can tell Finnick is tired.

"Go to sleep," I say.

"No, no it's fine," he insists.

"Finnick, go to sleep" I repeat. He looks at me, slightly reproachfully, and then nods. I get up and sit back on the bed. He falls asleep almost immediately, leaving me alone. Well not alone, my every move is being watched by bored Doctors. I observe the room to see it's changed slightly, the writing on the board is in red pen instead of black, and Finnick's jacket hangs on the back of the door...

Finnick's jacket, the note!

I get up as quietly as I can and tiptoe to the door, where I carefully rummage through both pockets for the note. I find it and go slowly back to my bed. I haven't woken Finnick, he still sleeps silently. He looks so different when he is asleep, the concentration of his eyes and the ever so slight frown marks he's been adopting since my victory have gone, and he looks like every 19 year old should look; young. I try to carve this image into my mind; it's so peaceful and calm. After memorizing it for a few minutes I turn my attention back to the note, I unfold it carefully and begin reading.

_Finnick Odair,_

_Arrangements have been altered; Miss Cresta will appear on national TV in two days time on the 27__th__ of June. You must have her ready and cooperating by then, otherwise she will face consequences, and our agreement will be withdrawn._

_Regards,_

_President Snow._

Two days. I have two days to be ready. No, I won't be ready in two days. Well now its one day, that's even worse. I look helplessly at the note, and then rip it into as many pieces as I can, dumping them in some kind of bucket in the corner of the room. I sit back on the bed and rest my chin on my knees, staring numbly into the distance. I sit there for hours until Finnick wakes, I can see him sitting up slowly in his chair in the corner of my eye.

"Morning, Sleeping Beauty" he says

"I can't do it Finnick," I say,

"Do what?"

I stare emotionlessly at nothing for a while longer before replying to him, he is sitting patiently waiting for a response from me.

"Go on TV. Not tonight"

"You read the note?"

"Yes... Let him punish me, I'm not going on there"

Finnick watches me closely; it must be an extreme change from the screaming. I think when I'm scared, angry or just hysterical I scream, expressionless staring is numbness, and hopelessness.

"No, he won't; he can't, I won't let him hurt you or your sister, ok? Snow's playing us, he'll play on our weaknesses," he says, coming to sit with me.

"He'll do it, he did it to you." I mutter. Finnick knows he'll do it, this man runs the Hunger Games. This is as low level as taking a toy off a child. Finnick looks stumped, he knows I have to do it tonight, and he can't get me out of the punishments.

"Your prep team and Briana are meant to be here at 9" he says quietly. I sigh as a tear slides from my eye. I have to. I have to, but I can't. "It's going to be ok, I already talked to Caesar the moment you left the Arena and told him not to talk about Seger, the Games, or home. He won't ask much"  
I clap my hands over my ears at his name and exhale deeply before removing them- this is my therapy for blocking out the Arena I designed for myself. I nod slightly and he puts his arm round me. It feels like no time until my over exited prep team is bustling in to the room, laden with clips and bottles and brushes. I try to block out everything they say at first, commenting on how my body is wasting away from lack of food, how dirty my hair is, the scars from fire, rocks and skin clawing. Finnick refuses to leave and sits in a corner making himself as unnoticeable as possible, but it's still comforting knowing he is there. They inject me countless times everywhere, and I feel myself uncomfortably widening everywhere; they're pumping food substitutes into me, and I can't reject stuff in my bloodstream. Then they apply some kind of stinging cream over my head, and I feel the hair that I ripped out in the Arena growing back swiftly. They wheel me into another room, and insist Finnick stays outside. I protest manically until he himself tells me to go, when I reluctantly let them lead me in. They push me towards a bath, and it reminds me of the wave. I close my eyes and remind myself I'm not in the Arena anymore, but they haul me in before I can calm myself. I struggle to not hyperventilate as they scrub me down and cover me with a stinging lotion, which I notice is removing all of my scars. They wax me, buff me, wash me and prune me until I look like an Annie from a different planet; hair shining, skin perfect, nails neat and a figure to die for. But no amount of pruning can hide the deadness lingering in my eyes. Astreis has always been the smartest of them, as smart as you can get anyway, and she reassuringly pats my arm as I watch myself in the mirror for the first time since the Arena. They leave me alone wrapped in a towel and Finnick comes in.

"You look beautiful" he says simply.

"I don't feel it"

"Finnick is very right, you look flawless honey" I turn and look up to see Briana at the door. She's smiling comfortably at me; she's either unaware I'm insane, or lives with someone just like me. I try my best to smile at her, but I just can't. She walks over and kicks her shoes off as always, tossing them to the corner of the room. She greets Finnick but doesn't hug me, which I'm relieved and slightly hurt by.

"Right, we're going to make you look even more amazing the Capitol won't know what's hit them!" she says, clapping once. She leaves the room momentarily and wheels in a clothing rail with 4 items on it. She unhooks the first and takes the clothing bag off of it; its icy blue, with ripples of darker blue and gold littering it; it looks like the colouring of a tuna fish, even in the bouffant-type shape. I look at it carefully, managing to rid myself of some of the numbness. The second is orange and hangs down simply, but on close inspection it's not just orange, it's yellow, pink and maroon all intertwined into a gorgeous mix. The third is black, short; very short, and tight. She looks disgustedly at it and throws it to the side.

"President Snow suggested I show you this," she says, gesturing to it crumpled on the floor. The fourth is medium length and frilly, reaching my knees, but it's red, crimson red. I'm reminded immediately of blood and shut my eyes tightly. I like the first one the most; it's quite ragged, random strips of fabric flying everywhere. It reminds me of myself.

"First one" I say quietly. Briana smiles, looking quite satisfied with herself as she hands me the dress. Finnick leaves again so I can get changed, and it feels so crazy to be in clothes instead of a flimsy hospital gown. Briana applies lots of eye makeup on me, and as she does it I notice she's changed hers, it now curls and twirls, almost like waves.

"There! Beautiful!" she sings. I look up in the mirror and I'm somewhat shocked at what I see, I look like a shaken and distraught goddess just risen from the sea, my eyes look permanently large from the way she's applied the makeup, and my dress flies everywhere. I love it. For the first time in days I smile, not fully, but it's still a smile.

Finnick grins as we leave the prep room and congratulates Briana. She hurries ahead to meet Zaidin somewhere in the audience. My hands start shaking and I begin chewing on my lip. We walk down and down through corridors and up flights of stairs until we're on the roof, where we're met by a hovercraft. It's remarkably similar to the one that took me to the Games and I start panicking once the door closes.

"Don't worry, you look amazing, they won't worry about what you say, they'll be too distracted by your beauty" he winks. I'm glad he is trying to make me feel better, and he is, but seductive Finnick isn't exactly my preferred Finnick right now.

We land at the studio and Finnick has to leave. I look frantically at him as a crew leads me away.

'Look for me' he mouths. Of course I will, if not I'll have a mental breakdown.

Attendants and crew are ushering me towards the stage, and I can hear the chirpy voice of Caesar Flickerman introducing me.

"The Victor of the 70th Hunger Games, from District 4, the lovely Annie Cresta!"

And just like that, I've been pushed out on to the stage. The bright light makes me flinch and the noise is deafening. There's no turning back now, time to go and face my fear; the Capitol.

* * *

A/n-

Hi! Double chapter day! Cause yesterday with the stupid wifi and everything, :(

Good news, the wifi box came today so everything should be normal by tommorow! Yay!

I hope you guys liked this chapter,

-G :)


	15. Chapter 15

15: Laughter

The crowd's initial reaction to my presence is overwhelming. Screams and cheers and applause bounce off the walls at an alarming volume, and it's all I can do not to clamp my hands over my ears. I look timidly out at the crowd from behind my hair and I'm blasted with an array of bright colours, ridiculous fashion statements and over large hair. I look back down, keeping my eyes trained on the pink strobe lit stage floor and walk quickly to Caesar, sitting down immediately.

"Annie! Hello, hello!" he chirps enthusiastically, as if we've known each other for years.

"Hello, Caser" I say quietly.

"How lovely does she look tonight?!" he asks the audience. The screams are a clear sign they like it. "Why don't you give us a better look?" he asks. It's an unavoidable invitation to stand up, and I rise slowly from the chair. I look frantically for Finnick, and I find him relatively close to the front. He smiles and makes a spinning motion with his fingers. He wants me to twirl. So I do, I spin around a few times, watching as my dress floats and flies everywhere. I sit back down when I become dizzy, and Caesar is clapping excitedly.

"It's beautiful!" he exclaims. I can't help but think of the goddess.

"Yes, I look like a goddess. They used to have them before the Dark Days and the Wave, when everything was peaceful" I muse. The audience silences and I realize I have said something very wrong. I clap my hand over my mouth and gasp.

"It's a dazzling dress," Caesar says hastily "Now, what are you most looking forward to about going home?"

"Everything, I can't wait to get out" Oh no. "Of the hospital" I add quickly. Caesar laughs as if I've just said an extremely funny joke.

"Why, of course! Everybody hates hospitals!" he says. I blush heavily and look down and my dress, I'm messing this up. "Well then, should we start?" he asks.

"Start what?"

"Oh Annie, you are funny!" he says "the highlights, of course!"

The highlights? No, that's not meant to happen. I look up at Finnick, and by his confused and angry expression I can see this is not as planned. I look around frantically, but the Capitol seal is already lighting up on a large panel, and all 24 Tributes are on their podiums in the wasteland. The initial confusion is clear on our faces when we see there is no Cornucopia, and when the gong goes, the bloodbath is somewhat nonexistent. But 13 people died on day one, so something bad must be out there. My eyes fill with tears when I see Seger, Jotham, Kimberly and me over by the lake, and me nearly dying in the Sodium Pull water. I'm just filling up flasks when the camera cuts to a Tribute I recognise as the girl from 5 trying to hook up the contraption Seger, Jotham and I avoided. She hooks one wire up wrong and every bomb blows in a chain reaction, incinerating her body into pieces and flinging them everywhere. Blood showers the grass, and before I know what I'm even doing I'm getting up and stumbling off the stage, falling down the steps and collapsing on the floor.

* * *

"She didn't know what she was saying!"

"She may be insane, Finnick, but she knows how to talk"

I tilt my head up to listen to the outraged voice of Finnick and the steely one of Snow. I look towards the familiar, slightly ajar door and realize I'm back in the hospital.

"I ordered Caesar Flickerman to not include anything from her Games!" Finnick says angrily.

"It's Capitol procedure" Snow says somewhat exasperatedly. Noticing the restraints aren't on I get off the bed as quietly as I can and start to pace slowly to the door.

"I don't care whether it's Capitol procedure or not! You put her on live TV with a days notice and expect her to go through that?!" Finnick hisses.

"She is responsible for her own actions, she has said treasonous words against the Capitol, and she must be punished," Snow replies.

"There was nothing_ to_ say! At that short notice you can't expect her to waltz on to the stage with a speech in hand!"

They're arguing about me, and what I said in the interview. Oh no. I get to the door and crane my neck out.

"Mr Odair," Snow starts "I do not care for your excuses for _why_ Miss Cresta said what she did; she will be punished appropriately for it." Snow says simply. I can't just stand there anymore. I slip round the door to see them in the corridor.

"How are you going to punish me?" I ask softly. They both turn immediately; Finnick's face is flushed in anger.

"Annie," he warns "Go back in there, I won't be long."

"I've heard most the conversation, there's no point" I tell him expressionlessly, the numbness taking over me. The President steps forward to me and straightens out his jacket.

"Well then, Miss Cresta, you understand that what you said in your interview last night was unacceptable?" he asks smoothly. I nod.

"And you understand the words were also borderline treasonous?" he asks. Yes, of course I know. I don't have the will to say anything.

"Good, I'm glad we have got that out of the way. Now," he says airily. I feel cold, not on the outside, just the inside. I'm finally going to die.

_Yes, you are Annie, if you handle this conversation right. _

Not the voice, not now.

"If you were just a citizen of District 4, you would have been killed right there and then for those words, but, you are a Victor, and I cannot do that, so,"

"Please don't hurt my sister. Hurt me, but not her," I beg him, cutting off his speech.

"So," he continues, ignoring me, "Your punishment will be deliberated, then delivered to you." He says. I nod. As long as they don't hurt Mari they can do all they want to me, I'm near enough dead anyway.

"Lay a finger on her Snow," Finnick cuts in darkly "and I swear to god, I will never, _ever_ see one client again"

"Oh, Finnick, don't get yourself into a vicious circle," Snow says pitifully "If you stop seeing your clients, I will break off our deal, and lovely Annie here will take over your duties" he smiles sickly. Finnick shakes his head disgustedly.

"You twisted bastard," he growls "Fine! I'll do your pathetic duties! But if you _ever_ hurt Annie or Mags in anyway way then every single one of your secrets will be out for Panem to hear before you can attach another rose to your suit" he snarls. Snow nods coolly.

"We have an agreement."

Finnick turns and walks towards me and starts leading me into the room, slamming the door behind him and sits on the bed. I sit next to him automatically.

"Annie, I promise he won't touch you ever again, ok? If he does, I can get him executed like this" he says, snapping his fingers.

"Nobody deserves to die," I say "Not even Snow."

Finnick looks at me in what I can only describe as a mix of bewilderment and awe, smiling slightly.

"You amaze me, Annie" he says. I look up at him and see his face is merely inches from mine.

"Who's to say I'm not magical?" I ask.

"You may not be, but I am" he replies, his breath warm on my face "how would you like to go home?"

Home? He's not being serious.

"Stop playing around, Finnick" I say, turning my head back down.

"I'm not playing!" he laughs "Seriously, do you want to? Or would you rather be watched by an annoying Doctor with purple hair for the next month?" he asks. I look up at him, and I can tell he isn't playing.

"Yes, I think that would be great" I say. A second passes before I'm throwing my hands round his neck and hugging him tightly. And for the first time since the morning of the Games, I'm laughing-

Because I'm going home.

I'm finally going home.

* * *

A/n-

Hello :)

I am quickly running out of stuff to happen in the hospital, so Im getting Finnick and Annie home ASAP, so sorry if this is a bit rushed!

Hope you enjoyed it,

Suzanne Collins owns the universe as usual,

-G :)


	16. Chapter 16

16: Home

Finnick orders a hovercraft to the station so we can get home relatively unnoticed by Capitol reporters. I'm jumping with excitement; I can't wait to see Mari. We get to the station and there isn't a photographer in sight, which is relieving. The soft carpet of the train is so different to the cold tiles that have been numbing my feet on the hospital floor, and the deep, intense colours of the upholstery make a satisfying change from white. We walk through to the lounge carriage and are met by Chiara and Briana. Chiara hugs me excitedly, but there is no disguising the discomfort that lingers in her eyes; there must not be many insane people in the Capitol.

Finnick informs me Mags already left to go home two days ago, I feel quite sad her motherly presence won't be around, but I can live without it. I feel content, I don't smile, and I don't talk much, but I can feel the deadness occasionally starting to drift away. I still cannot eat, and I have to excuse myself from dinner. I know where my room is now, and I go straight there. I don't stick my head out the window this time, I just sit on the bed hunched up, and staring at the strange floral shapes on my wall.

"Hey," Finnick says, peering round the door "Not interrupting your absolutely nothing am I?" he teases. I look up and shake my head, tapping the space next to me. He sits down and runs both his hands through his bronze curls to remove any kind of styling Joilean crafted earlier.

"I can't wait for you to meet Mari" I say softly "You'll love her,"

"Not love, love is weird. And stupid" Finnick points out.

"Love is beautiful," I retaliate. It is beautiful, if you can find it. Look at my mother and father. Finnick makes some kind of noise of agreement, and rests his hand on his chin.

"It's impossible for me to find" he laughs half-heartedly.

"That's a lie, the Capitol women are head over heels for you, and you go through so many of them..." I trail off. I do this a lot, I just stop forming words and my minds clouds over into fogginess. Finnick tenses next to me. Not angrily, but sadly.

"There's a lot you don't know about the Capitol, Annie" he whispers. I look at him and see his eyes are filled with a sadness I've never seen them inhabit, it's heartbreaking.

"Don't be sad," I say, moving closer to him "We're going home"

He nods, and quickly regains composure. He stands up and spins to face me, a dazzling smile plastered on his face.

"Somebody didn't eat their dinner" he says as if talking to a child, tapping my nose. I crinkle it and turn away, struggling to hide my amusement.

"I wasn't hungry," I say.

"Well, we can order a feast, and wait until you are," he decides, going to the phone and picking it up. This brings back memories, the time we had seafood before the Games feels like an eternity ago. I close my eyes slowly, and let the happy memories flow back to me. Finnick orders a crazy amount of food, and we sit cross legged on the floor picking at things like children. We don't talk much at all. We just sit, like we have been doing lots recently. Once we eat all the food we want Finnick clambers on to the bed. I rest my head on his knees and sit on the floor.

"We'll be there by tomorrow" he says, picking up a strand of my hair to fiddle with. I nod slightly, excitement bubbling inside of me.

"Yeah, I can't wait," I say. I can feel a smile trying to break through on to my face, and I desperately want it to, but it won't.

"I get to show you your new house," he says. I can feel him shift and he's whispering in my ear "Unless you're staying in mine?" he asks seductively. I laugh slightly and shake my head.

"Just no, Finnick" I tell him. He laughs and resumes playing with my hair. I suddenly feel such gratitude to him, for being here, keeping me alive, and not abandoning me.

_You won't be alive for long, Annie._

Not now! The one time I'm happy.

_You can't be happy if you're going to die._

I don't care! Go away!

It's weird, having two conversations at once, one with a voice in my mind, my worst enemy, and one with my Finnick, my best friend. The voice seems to falter, and I can go back to Earth. Finnick tells me more stories of his childhood, more about his father, how they went fishing, and the one time when he was five and a red snapper dragged him overboard. I listen intently, painting mental scenes of the stories, it's so relaxing. It must be way past midnight when I fall asleep, still leaning against his legs. He must realise because I wake to him lifting me up and placing me in bed.

"I'm not tired, don't worry!" I protest immediately.

"No, of course you're not," he laughs "Night, Sleeping Beauty" he says, kissing his index finger and tapping it to my forehead, before going to leave me.

"Don't go, please" I say as he goes to leave. He turns back to me and nods, pulling the armchair in the corner next to the bed.

* * *

I sleep without any nightmares, and I feel proud of myself. Maybe it's the thought of going home, or maybe it's just Finnick's presence and not being in a hospital. I don't know, but it's amazing all the same.

I wake after Finnick, I see he has showered because his hair is damp.

"Well, good morning!" he greets.

"Morning," I say "I didn't have any nightmares last night"

"That's great," he says happily "I told you that you're stronger than you think you are"

I rise from the bed and pass him going into the bathroom. I pick up a towel and toss it at him.

"Maybe, but I don't want you to be right, you always are" I say.

"I know I am, I'm,"

"Finnick Odair!" I finish for him. He laughs at me and rubs the towel through his hair roughly.

"I'm going to have a shower, I won't be long," I tell him.

I press the D4 button by default, and the smell makes me even more exited. I manage to eat a bit of breakfast, but I still feel full from last night. Briana gets me up to show me my return outfit, it's very pretty- a strap sleeved silver floaty top, and a pair of navy shorts. It's relatively similar to something I'd usually wear this time of year.

We pull up at the station and I cannot contain my excitement any longer, I go to find Finnick and I start bouncing on the spot. He laughs at my energy, and we go to the main door of the train at the front of the train, and Chiara counts down when we need to step out. I practically leap out the train into the sticky sweet sunlight of home. I'm expecting a huge crowd, clapping and screaming, but the only person we are met by is the head Peacekeeper, Tylk. He is a relatively old man, very cruel with punishments and always has a sneer on his face. The black and pink tattoo pattern that covers his entire body shows he is obviously from the Capitol. Finnick's face darkens immediately into a grave concern, and I grow worried. Where's Mari?

"Change of plan" he sneers at us. I feel uncomfortable, and wrap my arms tightly around me. "Your celebration will be in the square"

"The square?" Finnick asks

"You heard me, Mr Odair" Tylk repeats. Finnick nods, his brow furrowed in concern. I look around rather frantically as we're ushered in to a car, and driven to the square. I start bouncing my leg nervously, and Finnick takes me hand. We stop a few hundred metres from the square and are escorted by Peacekeepers to it. The crowd is overwhelming, all of the District must be here. Finnick looks so intense, trying to see through the crowd we're being ushered through. There is the occasional murmur of "Get her out of here" and "Don't let her see this"

Let me see what?

The cluster of warm bodies is claustrophobic, and I find myself reaching for Finnick. Tylk seems to have disappeared ahead. We get to the front of the crowd, and break through. Finnick curses in shock, and I look up to the justice building.

My sister is held by Peacekeepers by the arms, bloody and bruised. She is crying, and looking around frantically. Tylk is there too, his gun out and pressed to her temple. My mouth opens into a heart piercing scream as I realise what they're doing.

They're publicly executing my sister.

* * *

A/n-

*cries uncontrollably* I had this planned from the start, as I didn't think Seger's death alone could be that damaging to Annie, but I have not stopped crying writing this, it took me two hours. Two HOURS. I had to keep stopping :( And this isn't even the worst bit!

I know you guys wont enjoy this, you'll probably cry so enjoy is out of the question, but I hope it was... Interesting to read.

-G :)

PS: WiFi is BACK! :D And I'm at my dads this weekend, I don't know whether he has WiFi in his new house yet or not, so if there is no chapters tommorow and saturday, that is my (bad, I know) excuse!


	17. Chapter 17

17: Psychotic

"No!" I scream "No!"

I sprint forward and up towards the Justice Building. My eyes are so wide and unblinking they're watering, and adrenaline and fear have made me run faster than I ever have. I jump up the steps and throw myself in front of my sister. Tylk holds his bullet just on time, and I turn and hold on desperately to my sister.

"Get out the way, girl" he growls at me.

"If Annie moves, you'll have to shoot through me as well." Finnick says dangerously. I glance up and see him blocking both Mari and me from harm. I turn back to my sister, and realise I cannot hug her, because of the Peacekeepers holding her up. I look at them with a courage I have never felt before.

"If you don't let go of her right now, you're going to have to shoot me, and for shooting a Victor, you will be killed too," I say, all the shakiness gone from my voice. They look uncertainly at me, and let Mari go. She collapses into my arms and we both sob into each other's shoulders.

"I love you, baby" Mari whispers

"I love you too, I told you I'd come home" I reply.

I can hear Finnick arguing with the Tylk; he cannot harm or kill either of us, the Capitol would go ballistic. I hold Mari so tightly my arms might break, I can't let her go.

"Miss Cresta, I request your input here." Tylk says forcefully. I scowl at the Peacekeepers as a warning to not touch Mari, and stand to join him and Finnick. I reach them and move closer to Finnick. Tylk glowers at us both and opens his mouth.

"Go." He says.

"Go?" I ask uncertainly. Go. Go means start, to do something. To shoot Mari.

Finnick and I both spin round simultaneously just as the gunshot sounds, and Mari shrieks

"Look after Ann, Finnick!"

My jaw drops and I fall down to her, to her limp lifeless body, a pool of blood spreading on to the white marble pavement from the wound in her temple. I hunch over her and scream hysterically. It's not true. This is a nightmare. No. I'll wake up soon, won't I? Wont I?

"You evil little," I hear Finnick shout, before a thump of a body hits the ground. Finnick just attacked a Peacekeeper. I don't care though, they've taken her. They've taken my Mari, my everything. Now I am nothing, just a soulless shell, with an empty heart. She was all I lived for, what do I go on for now, when there's nothing to cling on to?

I feel Finnick pick me up, and I start thrashing wildly against him, screaming for him to let go, to not take me from the scrap of my sister I have left. He doesn't. He carries me away from the crowd, and I give up trying to get out of his grasp, I can't. I give up on everything now. There's nothing to carry on for. He slams open a door, probably to his house. I don't care. As soon as he puts me down I'm going to the cliff, I will get to Mari again.

"Mags!" he shouts. I hear the rushed, tottering footsteps of Mags on the hard floor.

"Finnick? What's happened?" she asks.

"The bastards shot her. Shot Annie's sister publicly in front of the whole District, that's what." Finnick says, distressed. I hear Mags gasp and Finnick puts me down. Now is my chance. I turn immediately and head for the door, but he's smart.

"No, Annie." he says, turning me back round. What do I do? I'm trapped, there's no way out. I'm trapped. I'm never going to see my sister again. She's gone. Gone forever.

_Not forever, Annie. Just kill yourself. Don't let them stop you._

I let out a mix between a scream, a choke and a squeak and fall on to my knees, closing my eyes and covering my ears. Get out of my head, I'm going to die, I am I am I am. I can't breathe properly; my breaths are more like gasps, in and out faster and faster. I feel Finnick crouch down next to me and pull me into him, I held on for Finnick too. But I've got out the Arena now, that's all he asked. He doesn't need me, there's hundreds of Capitol women who would have him immediately.

"I'm so, so sorry," he says, kissing the top of my head. It's immediately comforting, and my panic attack resides slightly as Mari's death really registers. I fall into him, crying more than I ever did in the Arena, in the hospital, anywhere. We're still in Mags' hallway, and it feels hauntingly like the hallway at my house, I can even feel Mari's presence. If she's gone, why can't she go completely, instead of lingering here, haunting me? The sobs are making my whole body ache, and I'm shaking under the pressure of them ripping throughout everything I am.

* * *

After about an hour of uncontrollable lamenting my body gives up, like everything else, and I collapse into him completely, the crying stage over. Now is the stage of numbness, hopelessness.

"Come on," Finnick says softly. He lifts me up in his arms and carries me up the stairs, and we end up in a spare room. He places me in the bed like a child, and wraps me up in blankets. He lies next to me above the blankets and I curl wordlessly into his side. My eyes try to bore through everything for a place in the distance, where everything is safe and happy. It fails, but I refuse to give up. We lie wordlessly as I try to find Mari somewhere, anywhere.

"Annie, you need to know none of this is your fault," Finnick whispers after a while.

"It is, its all my fault. It is it is it is" I reply. He can't comfort me, it's my fault Mari died. I practically murdered my own sister. I'm a murderer.

"No, it isn't. It's mine," he says. His fault? How is it his fault? He cuts me off before I can protest

"I wasn't doing my Capitol duties during or after your Games, Snow was angry, and I refused to do them. So he targeted the only thing I have to protect- you. He moved your interview date forward because he _knew _you would say something you shouldn't, and then he could punish you," His voice cracks on the last words. Is it true? Is it his fault?

"I know you won't ever forgive me, but I'm so, so sorry, Annie. He should've killed me, not Marissa" he whispers.

"No," I say. It would have been just as bad if Snow killed Finnick. And Mari won't get it. She won't understand me, the insane Annie. It's then the realization comes, I do have someone, something to live for, Finnick. And he has me to live for. We need each other.

"I need you," I tell him.

"And I need you" he replies.

I lay curled into him for the remainder of the day and night. Mags comes in during the middle of the night with two steaming mugs of peppermint tea. We both take it gratefully, and the feel of the sweet liquid burning my tongue is satisfying. She's means well, lovely Mags. I don't sleep and I can't eat, I haven't all day.

Finnick falls asleep, which I don't mind, just his presence is comforting enough. There's something in him, about him. He is the only person who can find and bring out tendrils of the old, pre Games Annie. Maybe he could fix me. Maybe. His head slips and falls to lean on mine, his curly hair is soft against my temple. He mumbles apologies several times while asleep, they may be to me, or to other people. The summer morning shines through the window early, and I'm unaware Finnick is awake until he says

"Morning, Sleeping Beauty"

The gesture is sweet, and Sleeping Beauty has become almost a pet name for me. He gets up and stretches, and I realize that today is a new day that I have to face, whether I want to or not. This is the day after Mari's death, maybe the day of her funeral, or the day of mourning, probably the latter. Finnick takes my hand and pulls me out of bed, and guides me down the stairs to the kitchen, where Mags waits with piles of freshly made pancakes.

Finnick explains everything Mags has missed sombrely over breakfast, and it's so painful to listen to I just block it out, and visit an imaginary, beautiful world in my mind.

* * *

Mari, my mother, father and me are in our home, all sitting in the lounge playing cards. My mother is winning by a long way as she always did, and everything is peaceful and calm until somebody knocks at the door. I get up to answer it and it's Finnick.

"Hey" he smiles.

"Hi" I reply, moving out the way to let him in. Everybody says hello to him and we sit and play cards together. Finnick is awful at it, worse than Mari. She teases him over loosing and he laughs. We're like a stereotypical nice family.

* * *

"And then he did that." I am dragged back to reality by the finish of Finnick's explanation, and Mags is looking apologetically at me. Her sympathetic gaze is too much, and I begin crying over Mari again. I put my elbows on the cold marble countertop of her kitchen's island, and put my hands on the side of my head. I watch as tears fall like raindrops on to the crisp white marble as tears fall in a fast stream from my eyes. I can hear Mari and my parents next to me, and feel her long fingers comfortingly touch my shoulder.

I jump and shriek slightly, whipping my head to the side, as Mari disintegrates into a puff of smoke.

"Mari?" I say, waving my hand in front of me.

"Annie, dear, Mari wasn't there" Mags says softly.

Of course she wasn't. If I was insane before, I'm psychotic now.

* * *

A/n-

Oh god, I'm not going to survive writing this, its too emotional!

If this makes you cry like I did I'm so sorry :(

I literally found Finn&Annie in about 13 songs, the Fallen album by Evanescence. I've always loved them, but I listened to the whole album again while writing this chapter, some of the songs are so accurate to Annie and Finnick's life/relationship!

Anyway, uh, Suzanne Collins.

I'm still crying!  
-G :)


	18. Chapter 18

18: The Capitol's whore

"Annie?" Finnick asks.

"I... Saw her." I choke. Finnick looks intently at me as continue searching round the kitchen for where Mari is. Where is she? She can't go this quickly.

"Come with me," he says. I nod and stand up, looking apologetically to Mags, I've been a burden on her. She shakes her head and smiles reassuringly at me. I decide I really do like Mags.

He leads me through the house and out of a small, frosted glass door. Outside is the most beautiful garden I've ever seen, green, perfectly trimmed grass covers a sloping hill, inlaid with stepping stones, and every flower, tree and shrub lines the edges. Bursts of pinks, oranges and blues peep out of sap coloured leaves, and amber barks. Fruits like oranges and apples hang off of small trees, and the whole garden continues for at least 50 metres, ending at the beach. I'm mesmerized by it all, and I hop from stone to stone, running my fingers along the plants. Finnick joins me, and distracts me by taking my hand and lifting my arm.

"See that?" he asks. All I can see is a cluster of trees. I shake my head and he starts leading me down the bottom of the garden. Once there he pulls back the tree branches to reveal some kind of trap door. I look inquisitively at him and he smiles.

"I built most of this garden for Mags, I figured I'd need somewhere to get away" he explains. Get away? There's no getting away, except out of the District boundary. The District boundary!

"Out of 4?" I ask. He grins mischievously at me, and I take it as a yes. I've never been out of the boundary. I've been to the Capitol of course, but not out the boundary. I nod immediately; I've got nothing to lose really. He opens the door, and I clamber down behind him into the musky, dark tunnel. The smell of driftwood and smoke lingers in the air, and he guides me through slowly so I don't trip over. I can see a small ray of sunlight shining through another door at the end, and when Finnick throws it opens I'm met with a sight that is somewhat magical. It's a beach, like 4's, but it isn't. The sand is untouched, the sea is bluer. There are no boats at the sea, and small trees and grass grow by the cliff, and by the wire fence blocking the District off. Fish swim in the shallows, undisturbed. It screams peace, and I love it.

"It's beautiful" I say.

"I know, before the Wave this beach would've gone for miles out to sea," he says. I nod. I don't know a lot about the wave, all I know is it spawned the Capitol and Panem, and made Panem lots smaller than it was before. I walk to the shore and sit down, just far enough so the water doesn't touch my feet. I'm not ready for that yet. Finnick joins me and we sit, staring out to the horizon. My mother used to tell me when somebody dies they become a mermaid who swims deep in the sea during the day, but becomes human at night and walks the shore. If they were killed wrongfully they would sing as their mermaid self, and the sound was so sweet it lured fishermen to them, where the mermaid would take them and they'd never be seen again. I wonder if Mari is doing that right now. She looked beautiful enough to be a mermaid.

"How do you do it?" I ask him.

"Do what?"

"Keep going, have the real Finnick, then becoming a whole new personality just for the Capitol. Cut through Capitol women's hearts like a sword, loving them and giving them affection then just going, because it's expected of you? Do this "Capitol Business" you don't want to?"

That must've been the longest speech I've made since the Games. Even Finnick looks slightly shocked behind the wall of tears he's built up. He blinks them away, as if it's a sign of weakness.

"I was going to stop going completely, jump off the cliff, disappear in a boat, or take a drug overdose;" he whispers "Then I found you, and found something to go on for."

I can't mean that much to him, I was just a weak Tribute who won by chance. He could've just said no to my sister, and left me to die. But he helped me, kept me and saved me, and for that I'm eternally grateful.

"Thank you, Finnick. Panem is going to miss the best person ever if you go." I tell him. He laughs slightly and I lean on his shoulder. We're two lost cases, the mad Victor and the beautiful Victor who has a double life they don't want. Neither of us have anything nor anybody remaining, just each other. So we need to hang on.

"You didn't let the Capitol hurt me, so I won't let them hurt you," I say. It's true. I need to repay him somehow.

"They've already hurt me, and I'm letting them to stop you," he says "Besides, I am your Mentor, it's my job"

I smile and elbow his arm lightly. He nudges me back off guard and I topple on to the sand. I get back up immediately and push him over while he's laughing. I scramble up and run off before he can get me back, laughing. The sand is hot and soft under my feet, and I can hear him chasing me. I run faster until I'm out of breath and have to slow down, and he catches up. He grabs me and swings me upside down so my hair is dangling against the sand and I squeal. He sets me down and starts laughing manically as I stumble over a large rock and fall on to him, and we both collapse on the sand in fits of giggles. This must be the happiest I've been in a long while.

* * *

"You both look like you've been in a shipwreck" Mags tuts as we wander back to her lounge, where she sits arranging some flowers. Finnick laughs and purposely shakes his head, sending sand flying everywhere to the disapproving gasp of Mags.

"Get out of my lounge, you crazy boy!" she scolds lightly. Finnick and Mags are like a dysfunctional, hilarious grandmother and son. Finnick leaves and I follow him in to another reception area, where we sit on the floor.

"I think we should go to my place" he laughs. I nod, I'd like to see his home anyway. Mags' is full of flowers and pretty wallpapers, but I can tell his won't be. He takes me around the Victors Village first, telling me who lives where. Next door to Mags is Kendra, then Finnick, then Me, then Murphy, then Deniz, then Leianne, Kelsey, Dune, Maren and Nerissa who're married, Ronan, Oceana, Seaton, Thalassa, Cora, Soleil, Jordyn, Elidi, Kyra and Adely. We are the 21 Victors of District 4.

Finnick's house is so different to Mags', there are no elegant patterns or beautiful flowers. Finnick's house is rustic. Squared driftwood logs line the ceiling and walls. The lush carpet has been replaced with wooden panels, and the walls have been stripped of paint so they're just reddish-brown brick. Chipped painted furniture is everywhere, and a fireplace sits in the lounge. It feels like a mix of an expensive home and a normal District 4 one, it's amazing.

"Wow" I say. He smiles and leads me from the lounge to the kitchen, where he pulls a large bowl of sugar cubes and a plate of cookies from a cupboard and places them on the wooden countertop, placing some sugar cubes in his mouth.

"They're my favourite" he says, muffled by the blocks in his mouth. I take one and eat it, crunching it because I don't have the patience to let it dissolve. We sit eating sugar and cookies for a while, as I absorb the beauty of his home.

"Finnick?" I ask.

"Mm?" he replies

"What is your Capitol Business?"

He seems stumped, and swallows his mouthful of cookie long before answering. A sadness I hate to see fills his eyes as he thinks of an explanation. This has been nagging me for a while now, what is so awful that he'd rather die than carry on?

"When I was 16 the Capitol threw me a birthday party," he starts

"President Snow pulled me aside, told me all the Capitol women had "taken a shine to me". He said that they had not had a young, handsome male Victor who would flirt with them in a while. Taking on that personality was the worst mistake I ever made.

"I was introduced to several Capitol women, told to keep them company for the remainder of the party. Snow watched and came to me at the end, requesting I accompany them for the night. I said no immediately, they were disgusting, and he threatened to hurt my family. I was a stupid, naïve kid, I didn't think he'd hurt them, that is was some kind of empty threat. But when I got back home my father had 'mysteriously died at sea'. I made myself believe it was coincidence, so I refused again. Then my little sister went, my beautiful little Maya, died of a 'freak infection' after seeing a Capitol doctor, she was only 11, she had a whole life to live, and they took her. My mother couldn't handle both of their deaths and became depressed, that's when I really got close to Mags. She helped me when my mother couldn't.

"I was given one last chance, to do it or have my mother killed. So I did, I became the Capitol's toy boy. I wasn't at home anymore, and my mother committed suicide. I felt like a murderer. I had killed all my family. But once I started up the contract with Snow I couldn't leave. So that was, and still is my life. I'm Finnick Odair, the Capitol's whore. Women and men used to pay me in money for sleeping with them, out of pity. But now I get secrets, and one day I want to use all of them against Snow, for what he did to my family."

Finnick Odair, the Capitol's whore.

Finnick isn't a player, a heart throb, a womanizer. He is just a desperate teenager who has been forced into prostitution. And he can't get out of it.

* * *

A/n-

Jesus this is all emotional! I'm going to sort of do a Catching Fire and skip a few months to the Victory tour, otherwise it's a bit boring, plus I don't plan any Odesta stuffs to happen till after Annie's victory tour.

Suzanne Collins disclaimer disclaimer disclaimer disclidnwfbubjavbvVBABV

-G :)


	19. Chapter 19

19: Hate

Without giving a second thought I climb over the countertop and wrap my arms around him. It feels nice, comforting instead of being comforted. I rest my cheek on his head and hold him tightly. He smells of saltwater and sweet things; sugar and marshmallows.

"Let me" I say

"Never, I'd rather die than have you do it" he replies immediately. Everything fits now. "Somewhere you'll never, ever be", the late nights and disappearances, when he told us he could work with our sponsors. I pull away and use my finger to wipe the trails tears have made from his cheeks. He smiles slightly and leans away.

"Stop babying me, I'm older than you," he jokes. I shake my head and continue the act, breaking pieces of cookie apart and shoving them into his mouth. Unexpectedly he grabs my legs and picks me up effortlessly like a child.

"Who's the baby now?" he asks. I don't say anything, he can't win. He laughs, and begins spinning. Round and round and round until the room is just a blur. "Give in?" he asks triumphantly.

"Yes, you win. Now put me down!" I say. He does and burst out laughing when I stumble around like a drunkard as I try to regain balance, crashing into counters and cupboards. I manage to get back to the seat opposite where Finnick looks as if he may cry from laughter. I look reproachfully at him and he tries to muffle it, but just ends up sniggering. I can't help it, his laughter is so infectious, and I am soon giggling along with him.

If I could freeze this moment, I would.

* * *

"Annie?"

A soft knock beats against the bathroom door. I'm standing with my hands on the edge of the sink, head bowed down as silent tears gush into the basin. I wouldn't be crying this much any other day, even if I am insane. Today is my sister's funeral.

I look up at myself in the mirror. Kendra, the kind woman who won 18 years ago came over and tidied up my hair, applied a small amount of makeup on my face. But now the black around my eyes is smudged and has run down my cheeks, and my hair is dishevelled where I tugged at it when the voice came back. Finnick is waiting at the door still; I can hear his soft breathing. I go slowly to the door and edge it open, and he holds out his arms when he sees me. I walk gratefully into them. He is the only person who can comfort me when I'm like this.

_He only feels sorry for you, because you're a murderer._

I shake my head harshly and close my eyes, trying to block the voice out. Don't come back again, not now, just before we have to leave.

_Why should I, you're a murderer aren't you Annie?_

"Stop!" I say.

_No Annie, you're a murderer, so you should die too._

"Finnick!" I wail. He pulls himself off of me and runs his fingers under my eyes, pulling away the makeup.

"Whatever the voice is telling you isn't true, the voice can leave now." He says. The words are so simple yet so effective, now all I hear is echoes of its last words slowly fading away. I nod to signal I'm functioning again, and he takes my hand and walks me through Mags' house. Nobody is in black, in some Districts that is what you wear, but in 4 we have to wear colours of the sea, because that's where the ghosts go to rest. I'm wearing an old sapphire coloured dress of my mothers, I could've has something made especially, but I don't want District 8's slave made material made to wear only once. I need Finnick and Mags there, I'll have another mental breakdown if not.

Funerals in District 4 are held at Insula Patis. Insula Patis means 'island of peace' in an ancient language named Latin. It is an island that survived the wave a few miles off the horizon, and it is just a huge graveyard. It is a lot less sinister than it sounds, Mari's old boyfriend used to drive us there for free to see our parents, but once they split we had to take the timetabled boat.

We walk down Mags' garden and on to the beach, once there I know I cannot hold Finnick's hand, as the public will be there. It feels like my Reaping once we get to the dock. Every single eye is trained on me, watching my movements. I stare at the sand as I start to cry, letting my hair conceal most of my face from view. The speech I tried to write this morning is a heap of scorched ashes in Mags' fireplace, so I guess I'm improvising. As the first boat allocated only to us three pulls away I lean in on Finnick, he is the support stopping me from breaking right now. The boat ride is rocky and uncomfortable, and the waves lap at the edges of the boat. You can definitely see Insula Patis from a while off, it's brighter than Mags' garden. Every gravestone is painted in a bright colour, not one is grey or black. The dead person's favourite plant or flower is provided fortnightly to the family, so they don't wilt and get left. It's so peaceful, with shell strung rope hanging from lamppost to lamppost, and wind chimes tinkling in the breeze.

We reach the island, and the bunch of snow white dahlias is starting to feel slippery against my sweating palms. We reach the allocated spot for her box of ashes, to save space every person is cremated, and I sink down to the box, my body shaking under the weight of tears so heavy they cannot even flow. I rest my forehead on its cool mother of pear lid and kneel silently grieving by the remains of my everything.

"I'm so sorry, Mari. I love you. I didn't want any of this to happen. I miss you so, so much," I choke, hoping her spirit lingers here somewhere.

"It's ok, baby, I'm not gone forever." I whip my head up and see Mari, translucent and pearlescent in the daylight. She looks pristine, hair perfectly straight down to the small of her back, shining gold, her skin looks like porcelain, and her eyes blue as the sea itself. I stare wordlessly at her and she laughs

"What? Never seen a ghost before?" she teases

She's actually talking to me. My sister is here, smiling, laughing and being herself, not the bloody, bruised and desperate Mari I last saw. I hold my hand out slightly and she ripples as my hand makes contact with her. Ghosts are real. I see ghosts.

But now Mari is rippling everywhere, swirling and twirling until she wisps away in a puff of smoke, just as she did before. I'm deranged, delirious. I'm more psychotic than ever.

"Mari, Mari don't leave!" I say, looking desperately for her again. Mari is gone, but new people are here, these aren't so perfect. Grey saggy skin remains hang off their skulls, eyes rot in sockets and colour washed clothing hangs off their skeletal limbs. I gasp and clench my eyes shut, but they're whispering a poem to me, a dark, haunting poem.

"There's a cold dark corner  
in the back of your room,  
it's us speaking  
and saying we're coming for you.

As you lie on your bed  
in the fetal position,  
your eyes are closed  
hoping and wishing.

Maybe that one day  
your dreams will come true,  
that you don't have to be here  
so down and blue.

The corner is here,  
talking for a reason,  
you're going to die,  
and be sent to the sea soon.

As us corner gets closer  
and takes you in,  
your soul will burn  
just as ours did.

Your bones shall lie there  
turning to dust,  
sooner or later,  
you'll be one of us."

The poem repeats over and over again, cackles and wheezes back the whispering and I can't take it. I kiss the top of Mari's box and lay the flowers down then run. Run as fast as I can, hopping round graves and flowers, trying to get away from the ghosts who are now chasing me, pulling at my dress and clinging to my bare legs. I cannot scream as I am breathing so heavily, and when I reach the sea I cannot touch it for the memories of the Arena will come flooding back. I'm trapped, between singing ghosts and my worst fear, and I fall on to the sand and cover my ears and scream to block everything out. I hear Finnick approaching and I cower down into the sand, he's calling my name and he'll spot me soon, but what can he do?

I cool sensation hits my heels, and I jump and turn. Water. Sea water. Suddenly I'm re submerged in the wave, spinning and twirling in the current, but at the top I can see Mari, she's screaming for me but I can't reach her, no matter how hard I push and kick. My oxygen fades and so does my life, eyelids drooping and limbs relaxing. The last thing I hear is Finnick shout my name before I black out completely.

* * *

"Hey there Sleeping Beauty" Finnick is laying next to me on the bed above the covers and addresses me as I sit up. I'm not dead?

"What happened?"

"I found you passed out on the beach" he says. So I didn't die, I merely passed out from the water.

"There were ghosts. They were chasing me, telling me I'm going to die," I whisper. I remember the ghosts, those awful, grotesque ghosts. His eyes darken, and I realise I must of crossed the line from psychotic to completely and utterly deranged.

"They say everybody sees them when their loved ones die, I did" he says. So Finnick is derailed too, unless everybody is a bit insane.

"What were they saying?" he asks.

"Something about me dying and a corner in the room" I say. He nods. Maybe it's just us. I sit up further and lean wearily against the backboard.

"Yeah, Mags said she's heard it too, and so has Murphy. Some people call it the Victors omen, because we hear it the most. I know someone in District 3 called Beetee Lateir, he said it's easy for the Capitol to get holograms and voices recorded that only one person can hear," Finnick muses. So it's another Capitol trick, another sadistic, evil trick to push me further into the depths of insanity.

And it's then I decide there is only one thing in this world I hate.

The Capitol.

* * *

A/n-

Hi :)

So I'm skipping sections now, next chapter will be the start of her Victory Tour because theres not really much to write about in between.

Suzanne Collins, our eternal saviour.

-G :)


	20. Chapter 20

20: Superior

Finnick, Mags and I are all gathered in Mags' kitchen eating breakfast, as we do every morning. Things are slightly better, the ghosts don't come as often and I can speak a bit more, but I still hear the voice at least once a day, and nightmares so unspeakably terrifying Finnick now has to stay with me every night at Mags'. Today is the start of my Victory Tour, and I'm very nervous. Briana, Chiara and the prep team will be here soon, and my rounds through the Districts housing the families of the dead Tributes will begin tonight, and I'm dreading it. I pick at a pancake drizzled in syrup wordlessly, trying to mentally prepare myself for the explosion of Capitol-ness that will soon blast me off my feet. Finnick and Mags make their usual small talk about anything and everything. I only half listen because I'm distracted by the clock on the wall. I'm watching the hand tick round and round, and watching as the Capitol gets closer closer closer to me. Chiara has already been told to come to Mags' house rather than mine or Finnick's, and I feel so guilty for bringing this gaggle of squeals and vain remarks into her home, but she insisted I did.

A bang pulls me out of my mind's wandering, and I turn to see Chiara and the prep team have invited themselves in. We're all greeted by squeaks and kisses from everybody, and it's unbelievable how quickly Capitol people change their appearance, it's been 4 months since I've seen them all, and everybody looks like a different person. Chiara's skin is now powder pink and her hair is aqua blue, Astreis' stripes are now spots in the same colours, Joilean's hair is now an alarming shade of green so bright it makes your eyes water and Olia's skin is now metallic purple instead of silver. The prep team begin lifting my hair and tilting my chin up to inspect me immediately as Chiara gushes to Finnick about some kind of 'fabulous party that simply wasn't the same without you!' and Mags begins making tea.

"Now, we're on a very particular schedule darlings," Chiara trills "So there is simply no time to mess around!"

She glances warily and smiles slightly, as if I'm some kind of feral animal that might hurt her. I look down bashfully because I don't like making eye contact with people, it's like they're burning through my eyes with their gaze. The prep team haul me off the stool and just about drag me up the stairs. They find the bathroom soon enough after flailing around behind them as they flung open different doors. Olia unfolds a portable prep table and Astreis dumps the 4 bulging tote bags she was carrying down. Steaming water is already filling the bathtub and Joilean is pouring countless scents and products into it. I can't get in that bath. I can only shower for about 5 minutes before having a panic attack, let alone be completely submerged.

I stare, horrified, at the bathtub. It's filling gradually and somebody's long fingers are tugging off my clothes. Within a minute I'm standing completely naked, still watching the water fearfully. When somebody claps their hands it startles me and I look up. In the mirror I'm shocked, I haven't really looked in mirrors a lot recently, there's no need. But now I see myself I realise how deranged I really look; I look like an animal caught in bright light with my wide eyes and matted, wild hair. I'm pushed into the bathtub and gasp as I feel it grabbing my legs, my back, my feet, my stomach. I cover my ears and shut my eyes and pray for it all to end.

The prep team scrub me and was my hair, oblivious to my hysteria. They talk light heartedly and moan about how they cannot have my figure. I don't care about how I look; I only care about getting out. Because I don't need to be hairless long term I am shaved with a glinting, silver razor. They take me out thankfully, and Joilean spends over half an hour trying to get a comb through my hair. I flinch as he drags the teeth through and they rip out multiple strands and he sighs in exasperation.

After what seems like an eternity they're finally done with me. I wander down the hall into the lounge when I see Briana and Finnick talking quietly together. They stop immediately when they notice my presence and Briana embraces me. It's nice to see her again, and to see she looks exactly the same as before, her skin is still lovely and brown, her hair still cherry purple and her eyeliner still heavily drawn on. But she looks so different without her required attire. In a plain shirt and skirt and hair loose she looks like she could easily pass for somebody from District 11 without the makeup.

"Hey there, honey!" she says "Don't you look lovely!"

"They put me in a bath" I mutter. Briana laughs and Finnick smiles sympathetically at me, and she turns me round to lead me out.

"Ok, so we'll be live, I'm going to have you pretty normally dressed, just seasonal clothes. I told Olia to do your makeup however she wants, because I can't stay long..."

"Where are you going?" I ask.

"Seeing some friends in the District" she says dismissively, leading me into the reception room where she has already set up a screen and all of my outfits in clothing bags. She gestures to one of the chairs and I sit, watching as she unhooks the right outfit off the rail.

"Here we are!" she smiles, whipping the protector off. It is a bottle green dress that reaches just above my knees, a black jacket and a chequered scarf, plain enough. I take it wordlessly and run my hand down the dress. It is soft and thin, and must be made from cotton. I wonder how long Districts 11 and 8 had to work just to make this. I dread to know, so I just undo my robe and slide it on. Briana passes me a pair of stretchy stockings so I tug those on too. She places some black boots down before admiring her work.

"Great, ok, cool" she smiles "I've got to run, Joilean should be here any second"

Right on cue Joilean waltz's in through the door, followed by Finnick. Joilean places a purse down on a glass table and Briana says her goodbyes and goes. Joilean unzips the purse as Finnick joins me, sitting on the arm of the chair. After a long time of powdering, buffing and smudging he pulls back, satisfied.

"Fabulous, fabulous" he mutters. "Oh, my, the lipstick!" he says, shocked he forgot. He trots over to the bag and Finnick stifles a smirk at his ridiculous walking style. He returns with a lipstick and pops the lid off, winding it up. My eyes widen when I see the crimson colour, and I close my eyes to convince myself it isn't blood, but the image of the crimson liquid dripping off the lipstick is burned in my mind, and I feel sick.

"Joilean, is there any other colours?" Finnick asks quickly, sensing my distress.

"Why, yes, of course!" he says, dumbfounded. "What colour would you like, darling?" he asks me.

"Anything except red" I say. He nods and trots back over to the case, rummaging through muttering to himself. He finally comes back with a coral colour which is much nicer. He applies it then we're done, ready for the first part of my Victory Tour.

"Ok, right, ready Annie?" Chiara asks. I nod and she holds my shoulders from behind.

"We're live in 3... 2... 1..." a Capitol cameraman says.

"Chin up, back straight, and _smile!_" she sings, pushing me out the door into the orange and yellow leaf littered Victors Village. Strange, moving Capitol cameras are rotating around me, and I can see my reflection in the lens. The one directly in front of me holds a small TV screen, and I see the beaming face of Caesar Flickerman on it. The last words I spoke to him killed my sister.

"Annie! Hello!" Caesar says

"Hello, Caesar" I reply.

Don't mess up don't mess up don't mess up.

"How are you?" he asks

"Ok. I'm hungry though" I blurt out. Oh no. Caesar laughs heartily at me and I'm glad there is no Capitol audience to see or hear.

"Well, now you're a Victor food is never far away!" he says. Oh yes, now I let 23 other people die, some in front of me, I get unlimited food. I nod slightly and Caesar changes subject.

"So, how are you settling in to your new home?" he asks. I pause for a while as I think of a response, and Caesar waits awkwardly.

"Ok," I say eventually. "It would be better if my sister was still here though"

"Well, of course, she's your family!" Caesar says.

"Yes, she was. But the Peacekeepers..." I start

"Well, thats all we have time for! Lovely catching up Annie, and we'll see you next in the Capitol!" Caesar says, purposely cutting me off before I could say anything bad.

I was meant to say the Peacekeepers murdered her. Because they did. But of course, that is treasonous, and Caesar must have been prepared.

But now the Capitol have taken Mari, I have nothing left. So what's to stop me? He cannot hurt Finnick, so there's nothing they can do.

For once, I feel superior to the all mighty Capitol.

* * *

A/n-

Hi :)

Sorry if this chapter was a bit bad quality wise I really wasn't in a writing mood, sorry!

Hope you enjoyed it all the same,

G :)


	21. Chapter 21

21: District 12

I'm immediately ushered through the Victors Village to the car which will take me to the station, and Finnick catches us up half way through. The November air whips through my clothes and hair, and even without words being spoken I know that Snow has been watching and is angry at me. The car ride is uncomfortable as they always are, and I can tell by the expressions of the crowd by the station they're not here to see us off, they're here to see the mad girl; the one who interrupted a public execution, the one who ran from her sisters funeral screaming about ghosts and hasn't been seen since. They watch me warily as I flip my head from side to side, paranoia taking over as I feel the hundreds of eyes boring into my back.

We keep up the act of just Mentor and Tribute because it's required, and there is most likely some cameras still rolling. We step on to the train and I breathe a sigh of relief as the doors close, the train may be bugged, but it has no cameras as far as I know. I follow Finnick to a lounge carriage and we sit side by side, silently preparing for the tour.

"I'm in trouble, aren't I?" I whisper. Finnick shrugs dismissively

"Depends what kind of a mood Snow's in" he says. But I know, deep down that whatever mood Snow is in I'm still in trouble. I lean against Finnick's shoulder and watch as the rocking of the train makes the crystal chandelier shake and clink slightly.

"Are we going to 12?" I ask.

"Yeah, it's the least extravagant celebration and everyone there is thin as sticks," He grimaces. "But, at least you have the amazing company of Haymitch!" he adds jokingly. I stifle a laugh because drunk, cranky Haymitch Abernathy isn't the most pleasant company at the best of times. I try to imagine District 12's landscape, being made of mostly mountains and coal mines it must not be much to look at, but 12 is right near the wilds so there must be some kind of forestry or wildlife there. I'll have to wait and see. We will get there in the middle of the night so we'll sleep on the train then go and have our 'celebrations' according to Chiara. Even though it is day time still the sky is overcast and grey, and I feel myself slowly falling asleep. When Finnick gets up to take me to bed I drag myself into complete consciousness and squirm out of his grip.

"I'm not tired!" I say. He raises an eyebrow at me and proceeds forwards. "Finnick!" I squeal as he tries to grab me and lift me off the ground. We find ourselves in a game of cat and mouse around the carriage, him chasing and me dodging as we knock over ornaments and furniture. Eventually he catches me and despite my thrashing drops me onto the large velvet futon and pins my arms down.

"Choose a forfeit!" he teases. I pout at him but he just laughs and shakes his head. "You can either- go and steal Chiara's dress for tomorrow while she is showering or receive a Finnick forfeit."

"What is the Finnick forfeit?" I ask warily.

"It's whatever I decide!"

Either send Chiara into a whirlwind of stress, crying, delays and a lifelong grudge if she discovers me, or some crazy thing Finnick has came up with. I think the latter is safer.

"Finnick forfeit" I sigh. He grins and stands still for a moment and I'm completely oblivious to what he plans to do until he is tickling my stomach. I gasp and hunch over, giggling and screaming as he tickles me. When he finally stops I flop back down on to the sofa, breathing heavily as I try to regain my breath. Finnick however is still laughing as he lifts my feet off the chair and sits down before placing them back over my legs.

"You're so mean to me," I point out after a while. Finnick smirks and looks over at me and I struggle to not smile. He rolls his eyes jokingly and goes back to watching the fire that had been lit earlier. I watch it too as the orange and yellow flames dance and twist among the black ashes, a light among the dark. It is so relaxing it does eventually send me to sleep. I'm not aware what happens afterwards, all I know is I'm in a dream now.

* * *

I'm outside District 12's greying Justice Building and I'm making my speech. As I read off of the paper quietly in to the microphone I can hear the distant, foggy wailing of what could only be a ghost. I look up for the first time and immediately see the defeated and wilted bodies of the District 12 Tributes' families. But behind them is something even more saddening, the two Tributes, now ghosts. They're trying desperately to console their families but all they can do is swoop through them, unnoticed. I notice how much healthier they are now, their olive toned skin no longer hanging off their skeletal bodies and their grey eyes alert and watchful, instead of sunken and hopeless. I want to help, so badly, but when I go to approach the now crying girl she turns immediately, eyes wide, and begins hurling abuse at me. Abuse so strong, so heartbreaking it reaches my core, and I turn to get away when I run in to Haymitch. He takes me wordlessly and pushes me towards the violent ghost, breath reeking of liquor. I scramble and squirm but can't get away, and it's when I faint that I awake.

I bolt up, gasping for air and wiping my hair from my sticky forehead. Finnick is watching me from the foot of the bed and moves over when he sees I have awoke.

"Nightmare?" he asks. I nod wordlessly still frantic from the strange, twisted dream. He sits next to me and pulls me into his side and I sit there gratefully, letting his presence comfort me for the remainder of the night.

When morning comes the train has long got to 12, and Chiara's sharp rap on the door informs me that today is going to be 'busy, busy, busy!'

I let Briana dress me in a simple, a-lined brown and silver floral patterned dress and a pair of relatively low heels. After not wearing the awful shoes for so long I've let walking in them leave my memory and Chiara has to give me a quick 5 minute lesson before we leave, much to her displeasure. The prep team spend what feels like an eternity running scalding hot irons through my hair until it is completely straight without a loose hair in sight. Finnick appears just before we leave looking his usual Finnick-y self, except for the sadness in his eyes I know is there because in a few minutes he is to become the 'great Finnick Odair' again. Chiara looks very Capitol-esque in a bright mustard assemble that wraps and tucks and twists complicatedly around her in a flurry of silk as she trots around the train, trying to hurry everybody up.

* * *

District 12 looks just as dead as its Tributes did before they were even murdered. A thin but still noticeable layer of coal dust coats everything in sight and Chiara huffs and keeps brushing at her skin and dress. The whole District is very small, and looks completely greyscale, with no colour to its name. It's not until we pass the District boundary in our car I see any colour.

A meadow, green and flower littered even in this cold weather lies just beyond it, and a seemingly endless canopy of trees behind it. I stare in awe at the sheer velocity of orange and yellow leaves, the untouched grass swaying peacefully behind the broken down and battered fence. As I glance further out towards the woods I study the trunks and leaves carefully. District 4 has nowhere near this many trees.

The Justice building is worn down and eroding away slowly, and the food prepared, although nice still has an essence of poverty to it. Mayor Undersee seems friendly enough, and he has a young daughter how must be no older than 12 who sits eating quietly. She looks a little bit like Mari, with her shining blonde hair. She must notice I'm watching her because she glances up and smiles politely at me. She must have been one of the first strangers to do that, and not shy away from the insane girl from District 4.

I hold Chiara's speech tightly in my hand as I'm pushed out to face the gaunt, starving faces of the District 12 residents. The impulse to run out there, give money to the wilted children defeated adults is almost overwhelming as they look up at me with dead, sunken eyes. I read quietly off of the paper, refusing to look away from the scrap of paper. I don't absorb what it says but I think it is some kind of loose dedication speech. At the very end I force myself to glimpse at the families, and when there are no ghosts I feel intensely relieved. But I'm moved close to tears when I see the grieving, hopeless faces of the two families. I cannot help but mouth 'I'm sorry' at them as they watch me. The mother of the boy Tribute nods slightly and I say thank you before turning and going straight back to the Justice Building.

* * *

Districts 11, 10, 9 and 8 are all reasonably uneventful, not knowing the Tributes just led to me numbly reading in a monotone voice. I cannot feel any emotion after seeing so many faces of now deceased Tributes, who died so I could live.

But I know the pain from these Districts will multiply by a thousand once I reach the next District. Because it is District 7, and I cannot just simply read off of paper to the families of Jotham and Kimberly. I can't just simply envelope myself in my own bubble and block out the pain.

District 7 is the District of Jotham and Kimberly, and I will say my thanks and memories to them in my own way, no matter what consequences I face. Because they were my allies, they were my team, they were, and still are, my friends.

* * *

A/n-

Hi there :)

Sitting in an empty room writing this as mines being replastered so I have nothing but a matress, It's actually quite cool!

Hope you enjoyed this chapter :)

Suzanne Collins owns everything you recognise from the books and/or films,

-G :)


	22. Chapter 22

22: Memorial

"Finnick, I can't do this!" I say urgently. We have both snuck away from the District 7 dinner to the Justice Building's library. In a few minutes I have to make my speech, to the families of two of my best friends, dead because of me.

"Yes you can, Annie," he says. "You've been through much worse."  
That's true, I guess I have, but this is the hardest in a good few months. I discovered earlier the sheer beauty of District 7, the whole place smells of soil and greenery, huge pines and oaks and maples grow everywhere in sight. The living space is quite small for such a large District, but the sheer amount of forestry that covers everywhere and wood demand makes the lack of space understandable. Jotham and Kimberly always smelt just like 7, when you hugged or came in close contact with them. Just like Seger smelt of salt. Now's not the time to think about Seger, focus on Jotham and Kimberly.

"I just, I haven't had to make a speech about some of my dead best friends Finnick," I start, shaking my head in exasperation at myself. "I'll end up collapsing or hallucinating, and ruin it."

"No you won't. As long as you keep thinking of them, nothing bad will happen." Finnick says. I nod and sigh, there's no getting out of this, might as well get it done. Chiara wanders around the corner of the dining area to us and shoots us both a reproachful look.

"Walking away from your own Victory dinner, awful, you should know better!" she scolds. "Now, come on Annie, speech time!"

I reluctantly follow Chiara and mentally apologise to her as she presses the now crumpled pre-written speech into my hands. We are just on the inside of the Justice building and the Peacekeepers eye me warily. I'm used to the stares of cautiousness when I'm near. Nobody wants to be attacked by the mad girl from 4. I can hear the mayor introducing me and once again the doors are flung open and I'm stumbling out into the square of District 7.

The first thing I do is tuck the speech into the pocket of the white blouse and black skirt assemble Briana has put me in, and can almost hear Chiara's gasp of horror. I look up at the families of Jotham and Kimberly bundled together, I see Kimberly's older brother standing defeated near the front, and the distraught expression painted on the face of Jotham's once-fiancée to be. I clear my throat and notice my eyes have filled with tears. The speech I tried to write ended up as a blank piece of paper. All the words are in my mind, I just can't get them out planned and in uniform order. But now I'm here there is no going back, and the least I can do in Jotham and Kimberly's memorial is honour them as the amazing people they are.

"Jotham and Kimberly aren't just my allies, they are my friends," I begin, my voice quiet and shaky. "I remember the chariot ride, and being in awe of their aura of power and strength as they went round the city circle. I remember the first day of training when Seger and I refused to ally with the Careers, and the way we could immediately converse with Jotham and Kimberly effortlessly even after a few minutes of knowing them. The alliance we formed was not something any of us were going to break, and the two of them are the best allies anybody could've chosen.

"Kimberly left me in wonder, she was so, so young and resilient. She would never give in and managed to open a door of light into the darkest of rooms. It didn't take long to realise why Jotham was so protective of her, she was so good, so sweet, and ended her own life to spare ours, and for that no gift, no words and no apologies can make up for the loss her family have been struck with. She shouldn't have died, she shouldn't have been reaped and for that I am so sorry."

I glance up at her family and see the little girls and boy crying into the side of their mother who silently sobs as the loss of her eldest daughter comes crashing back down. Their mother is young, no older than her late thirties and now has 4 young children to feed and look after with no money, and there is nothing I can do. I turn my head to Jotham's family and make eye contact with his girlfriend. She is very pretty, with her wide set brown eyes, short hair and toned figure. She looks about a year younger than Jotham, and must still be eligible for the Games. Tears are spilling over her eyes as she looks away from me down to the floor. I wipe my own eyes and exhale to begin my honour to Jotham.

"Jotham was like the older brother I never had. He was brave, loyal and compassionate and had his own little ways of bringing humour and lightness to the Games. He was so talented in so many areas that it left me in shock, and he was one of the best mental and physical fighters I've ever seen. The night he left us was heartbreaking, like he was taking a little bit of us with him. I regret leaving him and letting him go more than anything in the Games, because if we stuck together then maybe somebody who deserved the victory could have got it. He told me about his family, his girlfriend, and his friends. He had a whole life set out and structured, and death took it away. I love them both like family, and will never, ever forget either of them."

I look up again and see his girlfriend has broken down completely, sobbing into her hands. I have an impulse to hug her, tell her it's ok, but I can't. I can't. I scan the crowd and they're looking solemnly at me. I nod slightly before I begin crying again and spin round, going back into the Justice Building.

Once I reach Finnick upstairs in the viewing room he opens his arms out and I fall gratefully into them as I start bawling like a child. Even Chiara feels enough pity to not shout at me yet about the improvised speech. The urge to run back out there and comfort the families and give them some of my unneeded and unnecessary money is almost overwhelming and takes most of my will power to stop myself.

"You did great," Finnick tells me. I nod slightly, not really caring about how good I looked or presented myself. I'm only bothered over whether Jotham and Kimberly have been described to justice, and all of Panem can appreciate them.

* * *

"Annie?" I hear a soft knock at my door and Finnick's voice. I'm sitting cross legged on the bed, knotting and unknotting rope.

"It's open," I reply. Finnick enters and sits next to me on the soft covers and I push some of my hair from my face, still damp from the shower. Next stop is District 6. I'm not bothered about that and go back into my imaginary land, made of fields of flowers, purple skies and fluffy clouds, where everything is safe and warm. Some people call it mental shutdown.

"Well done for today," Finnick smiles. I look at him and see he genuinely is proud of me. I lift the edges of my lips slightly and look down, embarrassed.

"Thank you," I mutter as I untie the rope and start re-knotting it. The rope is abrasive against my fingers and the friction makes them warm as I tug and twist it round and round. It's very therapeutic, being able to distract yourself with it.

"Is the rope a stress thing?" Finnick asks, peering over as I start tying a Celtic heart knot.

"Yes," I nod. "Not particularly for stress, it's just a distraction from the world, the problems."

"I'll have to try it sometime," Finnick says. He watches as my knot slowly comes together in a strange twisting and weaving circle. It's very elegant and reminds me of the waves. A few minutes later it is finished and I pass it to Finnick to inspect. He eyes it closely but mockingly, as if it is some kind of puzzle where he must find what's wrong. After inspecting it jokingly he nods his approval, struggling to keep a smile from his face. I shake my head in amusement and untie it, watching as my 'masterpiece' unfolds back into a regular straight length.

"President Snow just called," Finnick says out of nowhere. I stop immediately and turn to look worriedly at him. Of course, why would he jsut randomly enter with no reason? "He said that apparently the cameras caught me hugging you and our 'friendship' is too open." Finnick makes quotation marks with his fingers when he says friendship, and a pang of dread courses through me at the thought of the punishment Snow has come up with. Finnick doesn't need to say it to know we're both in trouble.

"What's happening then?" I ask cautiously. Finnick sighs slightly and shrugs.

"I don't know. When do we ever know what Snow's going to do to us?"

* * *

A/n-

Hi! :)

Wow, it's getting so cold now! I'm just waiting for the day when it snows so much schools cancelled, got to keep hoping!

-G :)


	23. Chapter 23

23: Betrayed

"District 2, we present the Victor of the 70th Hunger Games, Annie Cresta!"

I am pushed out on to the stage by Chiara with another hiss in the ear of "Off the paper!" and I stumble over the elaborate stage over to the microphone, the long silver dress catching under my feet. I straighten myself up and straighten out the silk and the sweet bow that wraps round my waist and stare down at the paper.

"Hello District 2," I begin, trying to make sense of the words now jumping all over the paper. I hate this District already, everything is so stony, mountains and greyness are everywhere. Worst of all wherever I look I've been hallucinating and seeing Aziah or Estella, and it's scaring me. I carry on reading quickly and dully off the paper, but the truth is I cannot give honour to either of these people. Estella tried to kill me and Aziah killed Seger. Seger, he killed Seger. Killed him killed him killed him.

I refuse to look at the families of either of them but it still brings me guilt, they've lost their children too; even if they were bloodthirsty, reckless killers. As I turn around swiftly to get out of this place I catch a glimpse of Aziah's family. I can tell it's his family from the pointed faces and the jet black hair. I make momentary eye contact with who I assume is his mother, and I realise that to some people these aren't just Games. I can tell by the menacing, unsatisfied look in her eyes that in District 2 the Games are something of a test of pride, and she isn't mourning over the loss of her son, she's mourning over her loss of dignity.

And it's sickening.

I hurry back to the Justice Building where I feel anger, an emotion I very rarely feel, bubbling inside my chest like magma in a volcano. I stride heatedly around the rooms trying to find Finnick with no such luck, which exasperates me even more. I eventually find him in the library with a woman I recognise as Lyme, a previous Victor who was at my dinner. They're both talking quietly but intensely with their heads close, and I watch them round the door. I see Finnick lean back only moments later and I know that he's noticed my presence.

"There's no point hiding Annie" he laughs, turning round to face me. I move shyly away from the comfort of the doorframe and walk over. Lyme has a face that is unforgettable, I remember her from reruns and highlights of the Games. The other thing I notice is she is very tall, about Finnick's height and makes me feel like a small child compared to her. She smiles warmly at me as I stand behind Finnick's chair.

"You weren't lying, Finnick, you've got a pretty one," she says. I can tell it's a light-hearted remark but there is another hidden depth I now understand. I'm considered desirable enough to be forced into Snow's prostitution chain. I duck my head and Finnick sighs slightly, running his hands up the sides of his face.

"Yeah, shame Snow forgot to close one of his trap doors," he says grimly, tilting his head back slightly to face me more.

"And what's that supposed to mean?" Lyme asks inquisitively, tilting her head slightly. I see the corners of Finnick's mouth turn slightly as he leans forward again and whispers

"I don't deal in money anymore, Lyme. I deal in secrets. And when Snow sets my up with people working for him I can build up a lot of... power. Power to use against him if he wants to threaten me again." His words are only just audible and I see Lyme's pale blue eyes widening in surprise and interest.

"You never fail to amaze me, Finnick. You've managed to get Snow to not touch Annie at all?" she confirms. Finnick nods smugly and sits back again as Lyme ponders over Finnick's smartness and courage. I admire it too. He threatened the President to save me.

"Well then... He's a keeper, Annie." She says, looking up at me. I shake my head and look down because we're not a couple, maybe one day, but not yet. Finnick smirks and looks up at me, smiling seductively. I lightly flick his head and he laughs, standing up and turning to Lyme.

"Nice catching up, Lyme. I'll probably hear from you... soon." He says. Lyme nods and smiles at both of us and I return it, she's very easy to like, and we begin leaving the Justice Building.

My earlier irritation is mostly gone as we wander through the beautiful rooms and corridors, trying to find everybody. We find them round the back, waiting in the car for us. As we get in Chiara says something about tight schedules and carelessness but I'm not listening. I'm thinking through Lyme's words,

"He's a keeper, Annie."

Of course he is. He saved me from the Arena, kept me safe from the Capitols grasp, has helped me to start to become myself again and has been my friend, my support and my reason to keep going.

* * *

"Thank you." I say quietly as all of District 1 erupts into overwhelming applause. They don't care that their District didn't win, they just love Victors. Next stop is the Capitol, where Snow's punishment will be put into action. I find everyone easily and in no time we're back on the train, ready for the Capitol.

At dinner I sit miserably waiting for this Victory Tour to be over. I leave dinner silently and go to sulk in the privacy of my room. Every speech, every family of the dead, every District visit, every schedule. They're all killing me slowly, and it's tiring me so much. After I nearly begin hyperventilating in the shower from the mass of water I decide to get out. I wrap myself up, and to no surprise, Finnick is lounging on my bed.

"Yes, you can come in" I mutter. He laughs and winks at me and I shake my head slightly before going and sitting next to him on the bed. The bed is so large that 4 people could easily fit in it, and the gap between us both is uncomfortable so I end up shuffling up next to him, letting his warmth cover me.

"Wonder what Snow's got in store for us," I sigh, staring at the ceiling.

"Whatever it is, it won't hurt you." Finnick promises. I nod and find the warmness of the shower has made me tired, and before I even know what's going on I'm asleep.

I awake in the early hours of the morning, and I'm initially shocked I had a dreamless sleep. That's a big achievement. Finnick hasn't left his spot on my bed. I sit up and go to get my rope when I notice he isn't sleeping as he usually does. He seems quite restless, lightly shaking his head and mumbling inaudible words, but I won't wake him until he needs to be woken. His eyes suddenly fly open with a start and he moves up slightly and then falls back down when he sees me. I suspect he had a nightmare, but by the way he is frowning I decide not to ask and instead flop back down next to him.

"Morning" I say.

"Morning," he replies, before he smiles mischievously and puts on a very good Capitol expression. "Today is going to be busy, busy, busy Annie!" he trills in imitation of Chiara.

"Up, up, up!" I finish before smirking. Chiara's everyday greeting has become something of a joke now.

I throw the blanket over Finnick and roll out of bed. He yelps then laughs as I pull apart the curtains, letting the morning sunlight flood the room. Suddenly I'm plunged into darkness as Finnick smothers the blanket over me and backs away, cackling manically. I shriek and thrash around in an attempt to get them off of me. Once I finally do I glare at him, trying my best not to smile.

"Ok, ok," he chokes once his laughter calms. "I'm sorry."

"Apology accepted" I say. The blanket is clutched in my left hand, and while he's caught off guard I toss it over him and run into the bathroom, locking the door behind me as I giggle like a child. Finnick tries to open the door but when he realises its locked whispers through the frame.

"You'll have to come out sometime,"

I smirk and turn on the shower and get undressed so he knows I'm not coming out anytime soon.

"I'll come in if I have to." He purrs through the crack. I step in the shower and press the D4 button before hollering

"If you do that I'll hurt you, Odair."

He knows I never would but still laughs and I can hear him back away from the door and probably sit somewhere in my room. I shower for as little time as I can and jump out hyperventilating as memories of the Arena flood back. I grab a towel and sit on the cold blue tiles, with my hands over my ears and eyes closed. When I eventually leave the bathroom Finnick is replace by my prep team who're sitting patiently on the couch in the corner. When they see me they spring up excitedly and usher me over to the vanity where Joilean begins combing my hair.

"Where's Finnick?" I ask.

"He's not allowed to see you until you're done, darling!" Olia sings as she blends a cream onto my arms and chest.

I allow myself to float away while they buff and perfect me, something I've refrained from doing lately. I find myself on the beach outside the boundary with Mari. We're letting the soft sunlight soak into our skin as we lay on the sand. It's lovely.

I'm drawn out of my beautiful imaginary world by somebody coming through the door. I look over and see Briana waltzing in with her clothes rail, now only holding 2 dresses.

"What do you think?!" Astreis trills as the last brush leaves my face. I glance in the mirror and I'm shocked by what I see. Who is this girl in the mirror? The only thing we have in common is our eyes. This girl has black eye makeup sweeping across her eyelids and out towards her temples in a smoky flick. Her face is flawless and dramatically contoured so her cheekbones loon sculpted and her nose is defined. Her eyelashes are so long they touch her perfectly groomed eyebrows and cast shadows whenever she blinks. Her lips are full and arched and the deep purple tone makes them dominant from the rest of the face. Her hair is swept to one side where it falls in huge, bouncing waves. This is not Annie Cresta in the mirror. This is the Victor of the 70th Hunger Games. This is who the Capitol wants me to be; sexy, seductive, desirable.

"I jump out of the chair and brush past everyone out the door, ignoring their remarks and slamming it behind me. I rush down the hall and burst into Finnick's room. He turns when I enter and his eyes widen in shock and anger. He wordlessly takes my wrist and leads me down to my room.

"Briana!" he shouts, throwing open the door. She lifts her head out of the sketchbook she was focusing on and looks enquiringly at me. "What the _hell _do you think you're doing?!" he demands, signalling to me.

"Finnick," she starts. "I have my reasons, just wait and see."

"I'm not waiting to see what your reasons are, get this stuff off of Annie's face now!" he shouts. I can see myself in the window's reflection. Even when I'm upset and scared, I still look smouldering. I hate it.

"What in Panem is going on?" Chiara is bustling through the door, evidently disturbed by the commotion. Her dress is so bright neon green I wince. It stops at her waist where it moves out completely horizontally and then falls down about a metre out. The top half looks like it's made of one ribbon wrapped thousands of times around so she isn't indecently exposed.

"Briana has done _this _to Annie!" Finnick says. Chiara looks me up and down normally because by Capitol standards this is completely normal, but I still see a glint of empathy in her eyes.

"Well, there is no time now Finnick. We need to get her dress on, we're leaving in five minutes." She says. Finnick turns lividly to Briana, exhaling and regaining composure. She unhooks a dress from the rail and places it on the bed, before looking expectantly at Finnick.

"I'm not going." He says bluntly. Briana shrugs and undoes the zip on the clothing bag, pulling the dress out.

I gasp in horror when I see it. It is one of the most provocative dresses I've ever seen. It's mostly made of a full black corset that looks as if it will only just reach my upper thighs. The rest is sheer black lace, leaving the entirety of my legs exposed. There is a string of black pearls that will pull it up round my neck and they fan out over my shoulders. I turn to Finnick and see his jaw drops in disbelief.

"What have you done?!" he splutters. "This isn't even a dress!"

Briana ignores him and pulls off my nightgown. I would feel self conscious in just my underwear around Finnick, but I'm soon distracted by her pushing it over my head. I gasp as she ties the corset so tightly I become breathless and repositions the pearls round my neck. I can feel tears welling in my eyes from embarrassment and shame. I look like some kind of escort. The corset does only reach my upper thighs and even some of my backside shows. Finnick looks as if he could kill someone, but his hands remain tightly balled at his sides.

"Come on," he says, placing his hand on my back and leading me out the door, throwing one last menacing look at my stylist. I trusted her, but now I've finally learnt that barely anyone can be really trusted. She's betrayed me worse than she ever could. He leads me out the door and into the hall, where I burst into tears. Finnick hugs me and I hold him so tightly my arms might break, I know what the Capitol is going to do to me, and so does he.

"I won't let them anywhere near you" he murmurs into my hair. I nod and pull away, sniffing back tears. At the door of the train Chiara ushers over and does something I thought I'd never see her do.

"Take this" she murmurs, holding a long fur coat out to me. I take it gratefully and wrap it round myself completely.

"Thank you, Chiara." I reply. She nods quickly and then goes back to herself.

"Alright, everybody! We're live in 30 seconds!"

I can't believe Chiara has given me her coat, that she of all people is horrified enough by this 'dress' that she'll sneak in something to help me. The doors open as I slip the extremely high shoes on and whisper to Finnick.

"Don't let go."

"I won't"

* * *

A/n-

Ah! So many feels!

Mockingjay part 1 set pictures were released today OHMYGOD!

So sorry about no chapter guys, some family stuff came up friday and I was in London all day yesterday seeing a show at the West End. But things will be normal tomorrow, promise !

Suzanne Collins owns the worldddd

-G :)


	24. Chapter 24

24: Haymitch.

I duck down my head and wrap the coat tightly around me as we leave the train into the frosty winter air. The Capitol goes mental, screaming my name, throwing flowers at me feet and even asking me to marry them. Once they notice Finnick they go into uproar, women crying and fainting over just the sight of him. Its inexplicable how he puts up with it, or manages to put on such a show for them; winking and throwing kisses in random directions. They line the street all the way up to the Mansion where cameras zone in on us. I refuse to look at them and stare at the floor, clutching the fur of the coat to me as if it's the only thing I have on. It nearly is. Chiara stops in front several times to hug and kiss other Capitol socialites who're prestige enough to be here. I steal a glance at the mansion and find it's beautiful. It's entirely white and very regal, with windows and pillars adorning the walls. Fake firework holograms shoot up the front and fire breathers dance as we proceed. On the balcony I spot Snow himself, standing dauntingly with a glass in his hand. I quickly break eye contact and watch my surroundings, the purple strobe lights darting around the grass, the crazily dressed Capitol people and the small bandstand where Finnick leads me to. We stop there, Finnick slightly behind me as Snow steps forward.

"To the Victor of the 70th Hunger Games!" he says, raising his glass. His eyes glint in vengeance and smugness as he looks at me. Finnick must notice too because I feel him tense. We both know what's going to happen tonight.

The doors of the mansion open and we're escorted in, followed by all the Capitol people. The ceiling is blue just like the sky at home and I'm transfixed by it for a moment before I notice all the food. Tables line the whole perimeter, covered in every food imaginable. I stare in wonder at it and look to Finnick.

"Sure," he says, answering my silent question. I proceed forwards to the tables and observe everything carefully. I find a table of jellies in all colours of the rainbow, inlaid with fruits and confectionary. I find platter after platter of pastries and rolls, but I'm transfixed by the seafood. The largest pan of paella I've ever seen takes up a table and a half, the rice and the seafood sizzling slightly in the hot bowl. I scoop a little bit up and taste it. The seafood itself is no different from home, because it's from home, but the rice, the herbs and seasonings are so different. It's all highest quality and it shows a difference, it's amazing.

I'm interrupted by some unfamiliar hands on my shoulders and spin round to see a Capitol man who I recognise as a Peacekeeper.

"Head Peacekeeper Viktor. How lovely it is to finally meet you." He says. The whole centre of his face is taken up by a very realistic looking zip tattoo that appears to be half undone and exposing the flesh underneath. I grimace and look away as subtly as I can from this disgusting person. His hands still rest on my shoulders but Finnick doesn't leave, ready to act if necessary.

"I don't know about you," he starts, voice sneering and patronizing. "But here in the Capitol it's considered rude to wear coats indoors."

Viktor begins to pull the coat off of my shoulders and I stand frozen and horrified. This awful, disgusting man is practically undressing me.

"There's no need for that." Finnick says firmly, cutting in front of me to block Viktor off. I peer round his shoulder and see Viktor is smiling slyly at Finnick, like he was expecting it.

"Well then, Mr Odair would you like to discuss manners and etiquette with the President?" he sneers.

"It depends on whether seeing my Tribute wearing next to nothing is worth his time." Finnick retorts immediately, throwing Viktor off guard. I smile slightly at the slightly panicked expression on Viktor's face until he regains composure.

"You see I think it is, President Snow has been meaning to talk to both of you." He quips, lip curling. Finnick takes my hand from behind him and I gladly take it as he stiffly follows Viktor out the ballroom and through the mansion. Just as Viktor opens the door, us a few paces behind Finnick whispers urgently into my ear.

"Let me do all the talking, stay quiet as you can, you'll be ok."

We follow through the doors into a small, relatively cosy room. It has a bookshelf up the wall filled with tattered covers and broken bindings of books that are undoubtedly from before the Dark Days. Snow is behind a shining wooden desk and beckons for us both to sit. Viktor lurks callously in the corner and snakes over behind me without either me or Finnick noticing and whips the coat away. I gasp and wrap my arms around myself to try and shield some of my body from the two sets of unwanted eyes looking at it. Finnick goes to jump up but I shake my head slightly at him, what use is it? Chiara's intentions were lovely, but we all knew they'd take it off of me.

"Now that's better," Snow smiles hauntingly. "Your stylist did exactly as specified."

Briana works for Snow? Well yes of course she does, but she's working with him?! I can feel myself about to cry but I force the tears away, now is not the time. Finnick is grinding his teeth next to me, on the verge of exploding but he knows it will get us both in trouble.

"I have a problem, Miss Cresta," Snow starts. He always has problems, and they're all to do with me. "Mr Odair next to you has a lot of clients who have been denied his... Services, recently."

_Services. _What a name. I feel angry at Snow, the Capitol, and those god awful women for doing this to Finnick. He doesn't deserve it.

"And he now has even more clients which cannot be handled in this one trip in your free day tomorrow. Capitol citizens do not like to be kept waiting, do they Mr Odair?"

Finnick exhales sharply in anger, pursing his lips tightly but not responding.

"And now that Mr Odair has neglected his clients he has brought me no choice but to give half to you."

"No!" Finnick growls, jumping out of his chair. "We had a _deal _Snow."

Snow looks calmly at Finnick who has now got his hands clenched on either side of the desk, knuckles white from the pressure. I don't care anymore, just let them have me.

_This is you punishment for killing Mari, Annie. _

Not the voice, not now. I close my eyes violently in an attempt to shut it out and Snow's voice somewhat thankfully distracts me.

"Mr Odair our deal specified that if you carry out your duties I won't hurt the girl, you have not played your part so I won't play mine." He justifies. I look up at Finnick and he looks like if he had a trident right now it would be lodged in Snow's chest.

"Finnick," I say quietly. "Let me go."

I push the chair out behind me and stand up, blinking away the tears already forming in my eyes.

"I'll see all the whores now! I'll do it! I'll take double of them next time!" Finnick shouts desperately. Snow seems to consider for a moment, glancing between my now tear streaked face and his desperate one.

"Very well. Viktor, fetch the list of his clients and the party attendees. In the meantime Finnick, you will get through every last one of those clients, or Miss Cresta will have to redo the whole list."

"Fine." Finnick spits.

"Finnick!" I wail, shaking my head at him. He looks scarily determined to do all of this, just to spare me from it.

"I'll see you later." He says softly, pressing a hand to my cheek before leaving the room. I follow straight after, calling his name down the corridor, into the walls, everywhere.

"Finnick! Finnick!" I call frantically. He's nowhere. Now I have to face the Capitol dressed like this, alone.

I burst into the ballroom relatively unnoticed and rush around frantically to try and find a familiar face. But of course, there is none. None at all. But then something of a miracle happens, nobody can mistake the dirty, intoxicated figure of Haymitch Abernathy leaning over a table. I rush over desperately and take the seat opposite, placing my head in my hands.

"Ah, there you are sweetheart. I was waiting for you." He slurs.

"Waiting for me?" I mumble, lifting part of my face out of my hands leaving a patch of black on my palms where the eye makeup was. He nods slightly, taking a swig of liquor from his glass.

"Ha, I guess pretty boy didn't tell you he'd called and _begged _me to _'please look after Annie while I'm gone'_" he says, making quotation marks over what Finnick said. So he realised this was going to happen, and begged Haymitch to come to the Capitol and watch over me. I mentally make a note of another thing to thank him for above the other 10,000 things he's already done for me.

"Haymitch?" I ask, choking back more tears. He looks at me to indicate I have his attention. "Did they do it to you? Make you do... All of that?" I ask quietly. His expression softens slightly but then re-hardens back to its usual rock hard steeliness.

"Of course they did. But I stopped at Odair's age, gave up and went to drink." He scowls. I feel a pang of sympathy for poor Haymitch; he has nothing left at all.

"I'm sorry." I whisper.

"Nothing to be sorry about. Brought it on myself." He grunts. I go to protest when an actual familiar, bony hand taps my shoulder. The face Chiara is so relieving I actually get up and hug her. She awkwardly pats my back and breaks away.

"Time to go, Annie darling!" she trills. "_Lovely _seeing you Haymitch!"

She ushers me out of the ballroom and we quietly leave back to the train. Once there I rip the 'dress' off and throw it across the room where it smacks against the wall and falls to the floor in a crumpled bile of black lace. I then crawl fully naked into the bed, aware Finnick won't be returning and cry my heart away into the soft cotton pillowcases.

* * *

A/n-

So many feels!

I was wondering if you guys would rather less detailed and shorter chapter amounts so the story goes quicker or keep the the 1000 word minimum thing and have the story move slightly slower? I'm doing loads of time skips soon but I just wanted to know!

-G :)


	25. Chapter 25

25: Bracelet

For hours and hours I lay awake in the darkness and try desperately to find a place of peace without Finnick, but realise its impossible. I can't function without him. I've become dependent on him to keep the little amount of my sanity left in me, and without him it leaves as quickly as he did. I thrash and scream to try and rid myself of the voice as it taunts me, jeers at me and tortures me from the inside. I won't leave and I find myself ripping chunks of hair out of my scalp again, leaving clumps of dark brown waves in my clenched hands. I rake my fingernails, already in sharply filed points down my forearms creating bright red, inflamed lines running from my shoulders to my wrists. I hunch in corners, stand up straight and curl in balls to try ridding myself of the voice but it doesn't leave all night.

I'm wild and manic by early morning, constantly screaming as tears run down my face and bald patches on my head begin to grow sore. I keep going until dawn, when I'm too exhausted to do anything and I clamber back into the bed and curl up into my own ball of hopelessness and lifelessness. Chiara knocks on my door at one point, asking me to join everybody at breakfast but I just submerge myself under the sheets and shake in anxiety and insanity. I stay like it all day, become clammy and sweating in the insulated heat. It's sad really, how my whole life now revolves around Finnick, he's like my motor or battery; I can't function without him.

I never hear him return, but I know he's back when I hear the electrical hum of a shower nearby. I spring out of the bed and wrap one of the bed throws round me like a towel and sprint down to Finnick's room, leaning against the closed door and waiting restlessly for him. I wait for at least a few hours, watching the winter sun move across the sky when I finally hear the bathroom door open. I leap up and stand back slightly, knotting the throw round my side so it doesn't fall down. After a few moments the main bedroom door opens and I see him standing in the doorway. His hair is still dripping wet and he's obviously been crying because his eyes are red and swollen. But that is nothing compared to his skin. Its fiery red and raw, like he's scrubbed away 4 layers of skin at the least. In some patches it's bleeding, like his hands and the top of his chest. Suddenly my plans to leap into his arms are hesitated; he doesn't look in the mood right now.

"Hey Sleeping Beauty," he says softly.

"I'm sorry, Finnick. So, so sorry," I whisper. He looks disbelievingly at me and shakes his head before holding out his arms. I fall gratefully into them, locking my hands around the back of his neck and leaning into him. "Stop comforting me, this is my fault." I say, backing away from him.

"None of this is your fault, Annie. If I had just gone to those stupid clients in the first place none of this would've happened."

"That's not true," I protest. I look up at him and see he is close to tears in shame at himself. I silently go to him and wrap my arms around him again, this time I'm the comforter. He doesn't cry but he sure is close to, sniffing and sighing into my shoulder. We stand there in the doorway for a while, me in just a blanket and him in just a towel. Anybody would think we're some kind of open couple. How ironic.

"Annie?" he mumbles into me.

"Yes?"

"Is standing in the hallway the best idea?" he asks. I smile slightly and pull off of him and move into the safety of his room where I fall into one of the armchairs as he goes about drying his hair and pawing through drawers for a shirt that isn't either ripped or too tight to be done up. After a few minutes of no luck he gives up and sits at the foot of his bed opposite me.

"I wonder what you have on under there," he says cheekily.

"Ha, ha, you're hilarious." I shoot back. He smirks and leans back slightly against the bed post. I can't help but stare at the marks on his hands that are now scabbing over, leaving deep red marks that make me feel ill to look at. It's like how he's glanced at the ones down my arms several times, or the bald patches on my head. I think its best I don't bring it up, for now anyway. The lack of sleep and food of any kind is beginning to weigh down on me as my stomach rumbles fiercely and I try to stifle a yawn. I take a strand of my hair and begin the plait it in the way Finnick's mother did my bracelet. My bracelet. I haven't seen it since District 1. I bolt out of the chair and turn to the door.

"My bracelet!" I holler behind me as Finnick follows. I run back to my room and start frantically shifting through drawers and cupboards, in the wardrobe, under my bed and on the bedside table. I'm reduced to tears in my desperate attempt to recover it and end up sobbing awkwardly as I throw things around, trying to find it.

"Where is it?" I wail, pushing the blankets off my bed and looking on the mattress.

"Hey, hey," Finnick says, taking my arms. I'm gasping for air and hiccoughing as Finnick leads me on to the bed. "Listen, I have _tons _of jewellery just like that back home, I can get you another, okay?" he says soothingly.

"No," I say shaking my head. "That one is special. It helped me in hospital and the Games!"

"Ok then, we can look properly for it. And anyway, once we're back home things will be fine and you won't need it." He smiles tapping my nose. I nod and we begin to carefully scan the whole room looking for it with no luck. I am nearly reduced to tears again when the final drawer is open and rummaged through but when Finnick reminds me we have the rest of the train we can search I decide to stay optimistic until then.

We spend the rest of the day and evening searching for the bracelet. Almost every carriage I've been in is combed by late evening and I feel like all hope is lost until Chiara wanders into the room. The plastic bubbles making up the strange swimsuit type outfit she's wearing create spectrums in the lights, and she's manually powdered her whole body from magenta to pure white just for one day, not even seeing anyone.

"Ah Finnick, you're back!" she trills, tottering over to us both. "Annie, darling, if you want I have a proper toga in my dresser?" she offers naively, referring to the towel covering me.

"No thank you, Chiara, I'm fine," I murmur, looking down at the floor. "Have you seen my bracelet?" I burst out.

"Your District token?" she asks. I nod sheepishly, aware she'll have no idea where it is, but it's nice to know. "Oh, yes of course! I'm _terribly _sorry sweetie; I wore it the other day! Your District token is all the rage now, anyone whose _anyone _is wearing it!" she sings. Relief floods my body to know it isn't gone forever. Chiara simply used it out of vanity. As she turns and struts from the room to fetch it I look at Finnick, suppressing a smile.

"Told you we'd find it." He says smugly.

"Of course, I forgot. You never get things wrong, you're..."

"_Finnick Odair!_" we say together, Finnick smirking and me smiling. Chiara wanders back in with my comforter in her hands and I take it gratefully, fastening it around my wrist where it belongs. I can feel the train starting to move, we must've spent so long looking for my bracelet the whole night has gone. Chiara bids us goodnight and goes back to her room. Finnick and I sit by the fire for a while, before I drift away into sleep in the safety of his presence.

* * *

It'll be ok. You won't hallucinate or hear voices. This is about Seger, not you.

I am standing by the doors of the Justice Building, waiting to address my District about the event that turned me insane. I can't even talk to Finnick or Mags about it, let alone the whole District. We left Briana behind in the Capitol, and used one of my own dresses. It's the dress that I wore at my last school dance, Mari had worn it too when my mother bought it for her 16th birthday. It's handmade in District 8's finest tailors and designed by a relatively unknown Capitol designer named Cinna. It's long and gold, the very top part being laden with gold and silver sequins and the waist downwards is golden netting, encrusted with glitter. It shimmers and ruffles as I slowly tiptoe to the centre of the stage, my hair falling over my face to disguise the tears streaming down my face. I find a point on the stage to focus on and stare so intensely at it until I see a field of flowers, lit by soft sunlight.

"I have a brother and a best friend. His name is Seger." I whisper into the microphone that amplifies my voice for the whole square to hear.

_Did you know this is where Mari was shot, Annie?_

Yes. And I was ignoring it until you brought it up.

_She was shot here because you murdered her._

Stop it, go away, please!

I jerk my head to the side to force the voice away, so I can get this speech over with.

"I never knew Seger was my brother until we were in the Arena, when he fought so hard to protect me, a girl he barely even knew. I will never know why he did that, why he valued my life above his own. None of us are saints; people have died because of us, either us killing them directly or indirectly," I whisper, letting the field of flowers swallow me up so I'm alone, and there isn't a whole audience watching me. Now I'm talking about him the rush of anger and bitterness from his death begins to surface after locked away in a chamber deep inside my head.

"But put that all aside, the nature of the Games and what it does to people, Seger was as close to an angel as you can get! He tried his hardest to keep me alive, even if it meant sacrificing himself!" My voice has risen now to a shout. That combined with the tears that are now plunging from my eyes and down my face make me look truly insane.

"He was a good person! He was he was he was! He wasn't evil or twisted! He didn't want to kill! He didn't!" I cry desperation and sorrow tinting my outcries.

"He didn't deserve to die!" I wail, the field abruptly leaving and placing back in reality, where I throw my head back in exasperation. "_He _should be the one on this stage right now, not me, _him_! Because he deserved to win! He deserved to live!" I bawl, pressing my hands against my eyes as I start sobbing into my hands.

"I'm sorry Seger." I choke almost silently, but the microphone still picks it up and throws it out at the audience. I look up at the sky, placing my right hand over my heart then turning my palm out towards it, fingers together. This is District 4's symbol to the dead, it's a traditional thing rarely used among us but it's the last thing I can do for him. I look down again to go back to the Justice Building when I see the whole crowd has done it too, including Seger's family. I see Cordelia mouthing words to the sky, I make out 'I love you' several times and figure she must be talking to him. All judgement gone I go down the Justice Building's steps and make my way through the crowd, skipping up onto the podium and embracing Cordelia. We both start crying into each other's shoulders and I whisper 'I'm sorry' as I pull away from her. We may not know each other, but we've both lost someone who is our everyone, and as I pull away from her I can see her eyes reflect mine. I hug his mother and father, slightly less willing to be touched by the mad girl. I don't care, they've lost him too.

As I glance up at the huge screen portraying his living face I observe it for the last time. I let the messiness of his sandy blonde hair, the shape of his eyebrows, the structure of his face and the sea blue of his eyes carve themselves into my memory, so I can never forget the best friend in the world.

* * *

A/n-

The feeeeeeeels! :'(

This chapter killed me to write, it took me two days to actually get through it. cry.

On a plus note the other day the Odesta wedding was filmed ! Screeeeaaammmm!

But I still think Astrid Berges-Frisbey would've made a way better Annie than Stef Dawson. Sorry Stef, it had to be said.

Smiles and happiness and rainbows,

-G :)


	26. Chapter 26

26: Confidence

I wearily drift into consciousness, keeping my eyes closed against the light of morning. I give myself some time to reflect on the past month since my Victory Tour ended. Once I'd been escorted back to the Justice Building I ran into some kind of unused, broken room and had a panic attack as the voice crept over me. Finnick had found me after a while and took me back to Mags' where he fed me sugar cubes and peppermint tea while I laid down in her lounge, bundled in blankets. I become vaguely aware that he isn't with me now. I have been sleeping with him since the Victory Tour. Not as in _sleeping with him_ in a relationship way, sleeping with him as in he has lain next to me as I sleep. I reluctantly open my eyes to see if he's left and nearly scream in shock when I see him and Mags hovering over me.

"Happy Birthday!" they both cry. Today is the 13th of January, my birthday. I completely forgot my own birthday. I sit up slightly and smile as Mags embraces me happily and Finnick places a plate with a croissant with a candle on it in my lap before hugging me also.

"Thank you," I say. Mags beams and whispers 'She's 18!' and Finnick light-heartedly rolls his eyes at her, amused at how exited she gets at special occasions. I lightly blow out the candle and start tearing pieces of the croissant off and eating them. Either Mags or Finnick must've gone to the bakery to get it this morning because it's still warm. I get through it quickly and I get out of the bed and follow the two of them to Mags' lounge.

In a corner there is a small pile of presents, wrapped in shiny blue paper with a bow on top. My eyes widen at the amount I've gotten, for the past few years birthdays and Christmas have usually consisted of a homemade present or something small from the market, not real shop bought presents.

"These are all for me?" I ask.

"Of course they are, dear!" Mags says. Every single one is for me, every item inside the boxes is especially for me. I walk shocked over to the pile and kneel down in front of them, joined by Finnick and Mags. I take the card that lies of top and open it. It looks handmade and has a beautifully painted landscape of the beach on it, and my name at the bottom. Mags' scripted handwriting fills the inside, stating how proud of me both she and Finnick are and for me to have an amazing birthday. I can't help but smile at the gushing of wishes from dear Mags as I set the card down and hug them both once again. I pick up the first present and read its tag, seeing it's from Mags. I open it carefully, taking care to not rip the paper and I'm met with a beautiful book, old and worn down with the printing faded and browning. I can just make out the title- 'The Book of Greek Mythology'. Mythology is banned throughout District 4 and most of Panem; Mags must have tried very hard to get this.

"I know you're named after a Greek Goddess, I figured you'd find it interesting," gushes Mags.

"Mags it's wonderful, thank you." I say softly. I place it carefully down next to me and open the rest. There is a sunny yellow porcelain mug with an 'A' engraved into it for my peppermint tea, a box of bright macaroons and a framed picture Mags took a few weeks ago of Finnick and I standing on the beach outside the boundary. I'm overwhelmed by the amount she has got me and I nearly cry, so thankful for everything she's done for me.

"Oh, Mags" I say, hugging her tightly. "Thank you so much!"

"You're very welcome sweetheart!" she smiles back. I turn back to the pile and see the presents Finnick has gotten me and start opening them. I'm met with a pale gold box with my name printed on it and slowly open it. Inside there is an array of things, I smile at the string of green and blue lights that I can hang over my bed, a box of chocolates shaped to spell 'Annie', the silver pin with '18' carved into it. But the one that stands out most is a golden key on a chain, sparkling slightly in the light.

"What's this?" I ask, holding it up after I thanked and hugged him for my gifts.

"I was hoping you'd ask that," he smiles. "Come on,"

He takes my hand and leads me out of the lounge and into the hallway, stopping at the closed door of the reception room.

"Ready?" he asks, placing his hands over my eyes, blinding me.

"Ready." I reply. He opens the door and we slowly go inside, tailed by Mags. My eyelashes catch on his palms as I blink. We reach what I think is about midway through the room and Finnick pulls his hands from my eyes.

"Tah dah!" he whispers in my ear as I gasp. At the end of the room is a grand piano with a small rosette bow stuck on the top. I played piano growing up, I used to do the music for school shows and won awards until the Peacekeepers took the school's one, and mine and Mari's one at home. I run over to it and run my hands along the smooth, shiny wood and a golden lock with the same pattern as the key.

"How did you know?" I ask breathlessly.

"One time when I went to see one of Maya's shows at the comprehensive before I was reaped, you were there. You were playing the piano so well I didn't know what hit me." He explains.

"Finnick, it's amazing, thank you!" I squeal, hugging him tightly as I nearly burst into tears.

"You deserve it," he mumbles into my hair. I can't stop beaming as I take in its glorious appearance, the key's chain tightly clutched in my hand as I use it to unlock the lid and lift it up, sliding my fingers over the cool porcelain keys. The stool is screaming my name and I sit on it, sliding it in towards the piano so my feet touch the pedals. My hands find their positions and I begin to play my favourite melody, 'river flows in you'. I know it off by heart and feel my whole body become content and calmed as I play, the mixture of major and minor notes making my ears beam in happiness.

When I finish both Mags and Finnick are staring at me open mouthed. I know the song is complex but nothing amazing. Mags even has a tear in her eye.

"Where did you learn that?" she asks throatily.

"Myself" I reply. I did no kind of other hobby so my mother forced me into music, I don't regret it.

"It's beautiful, Annie. You're amazing" she says. I smile sheepishly and look down, embarrassed by the overthrow of compliments that I've been showered with. I'm suddenly met with a thrill, and pang of courage and determination to do something, anything I've been too scared to do.

"Finnick," I say. "I want to go to Mari, Seger and my parent's graves today, and the market." I decide. Finnick's arms widen before he breaks into a smile.

"I'm not stopping you... After you get dressed." He winks, pointing out that I'm still in my nightwear. I nod happily and run up the stairs and find some simple clothes to wear, almost jumping on the spot from the buzz of confidence I've been greeted with. I jump back down the stairs and almost crash into Finnick as I round the corner to the kitchen. He laughs and takes my arm as we greet Mags goodbye and walk out into the cool, winter air.

We get a lot of stares as we walk around the market. Not many people recognise me, but a lot recognise Finnick. Girls squeal and sigh as we pass and I find myself annoyed at their obsession over him. As we stand at the florist stall I crane my neck to find the exact flowers I want. I get the white dahlias for Mari, the pink carnations for my mother, some blue delphiniums for my father and a dried green anemone for Seger. We give the wary stall owner his money and leave through the market the long way so I can confront my fear of being around so many people for longer. As we break out the crowd I can't help but smile in pride at myself and Finnick squeezes my shoulder as a well done gesture as we set off to the docks.

"What time does the next boat leave?" I ask.

"In about a minute!" Finnick says.

"We'd better be quick then!" I gasp. We set off running to the docks, laughing wildly at each other when one of us trips over as we scramble down the stony path. We physically jump onto the boat just as it pulls away and fall into the seats at the edges. I peer timidly into my hazy reflection in the disturbed water as we speed along to Insula Patis. I may be feeling courageous but nowhere near brave enough to get in the water. The ride is relatively bumpy and I'm thankful to get off the boat as we climb onto the sandy shore of the island. I go first to the place I know best, my parents' graves. We find them easily and I feel ashamed by the neglected flowers wilting by their joint name plate. I carefully replace them and kneel down in front of it, signalling Finnick to join me.

"Hello mama, hello dad," I start quietly. "I've missed you lots. I hope Mari is ok, and Seger. I wish you were still here, things have been so much different since I won the Games. I have Finnick and Mags, they've helped me so much, but it would be so much better if you were here too. I love you both so much." My final line is a whisper as my throat closes off and tears well in my eyes.

"You ok?" Finnick asks softly. I nod and wipe my eyes, taking his hand and leading him to Mari's headstone. I replace the flowers there too, inhaling and exhaling deeply before talking to her. I'm used to it with my parents, but not Mari.

"Hi Mari, I hope you're ok. It's been so hard without you here, everything's so different. I didn't want them to kill you Mari, I really didn't," I choke. "Finnick never broke his promise. He still looks after me all the time. So does Mags. President Snow wants me to do what you had to do, and Finnick has to do. Finnick stopped him though. You would've liked him, he's amazing. I miss you so much Mari, you don't know how much, I love you." My voice has deteriorated down to a mere whimper as I cry down to the floor. Despite being upset over talking to Mari, I still get a thrill from being able to talk to her. I kiss my index finger and place it on her name before getting up and taking Finnick's hand.

"You're doing so well, Annie" he reassures as we slip round headstones and flowers, trying to find the Tributes' corner. Seger's is the newest, shiniest nameplate there. The flowers there must've been placed recently, some yellow lilies and lavender. I place the anemone beside them and crouch down for the third and last time today to talk to another dead person I love.

"Hi Seger, I miss you. I still can't believe you're gone. In a way it's good, Snow was angry with me about my interview. You said some pretty bad stuff in the Games; he would've hurt Lia, or your parents. I hope heaven is a nice place. You need a nice place after what they did to you. I'll see you soon." I get up slowly and hug Finnick as a tear slides down my face and off of my nose.

"Do you need to go anywhere?" I ask quietly.

"I want to go see Maya, if you don't mind?" Finnick asks.

"Of course you can." I say, taking his hand as he weaves easily through the rows of graves to his little sister's. After all, he's been with me while I talk to everyone, he should be allowed to talk to Maya. He kneels down at her grave and pulls a small clump of pink tulips out of the bag we had, he must've got them while I wasn't looking.

"Hey baby, I hope you're ok, things have been pretty hectic lately. This is Annie," he says, gesturing to me. "You would've loved her, she's so kind and sweet and pretty. I went to the bakers this morning and they had your cake there, the one with the green icing and the seashell. I miss you lots my little angel, sleep tight." He whispers. I feel heartbroken at his grief filled eyes as stands. He straightens up and blinks them away, moment over. He exhales and we start walking back towards the boat, both of us sad yet content at the grievous task we've just overcome together.

* * *

It's early evening and Finnick, Mags and I are all crowded round the fire together, drinking tea and eating the birthday cake Mags gave to me when we got back from Insula Patis. I have my head on Finnick's shoulder as we huddle together. Mags looks over at us, satisfied as Finnick tilts his own head down on top of mine.

"Well, I'm off to bed!" she says, standing up.

"This early?" Finnick asks.

"Yes, this early Finnick. I'm not young and active like you two anymore!" she says smugly, tottering from the room. Finnick shakes his head lightly and laughs slightly, and we sit together, watching the flames dance and leap around.

"Well done for today, Annie. I'm so proud of you." He says after a while.

"Well if it wasn't for you I wouldn't be here to do it," I reply.

"I saved you for a reason, Cresta" he teases.

I turn my head to look at him and find that our faces are merely inches apart, and orange flecks from the fire dance in his emerald eyes.

"And what was that reason?" I ask, raising an eyebrow. He leans in slightly closer to me and I can't help but stare at his lips.

"I believe in you." He breathes. I smile as my eyes flutter down in embarrassment, then up again to look back into his eyes. He's watching me patiently, observantly and my eyes flit up and down.

"Finnick?" I ask.

"Mmhm?" He responds. A deep blush crawls along my cheeks as I fumble over my words, the words that have been nagging me for weeks.

"Am I allowed to kiss you now? Because I think I'll go even more insane if I don't."

Finnick grins and leans in even more so our foreheads are touching, his eyes sparkling as he looks at me.

"Gladly, if you say you're not insane," he whispers.

Unable to think of any other way to deny his request I cross my fingers and breathe

"I'm not insane."

Finnick laughs lightly, then finally encloses all the space between us as he brings his lips to meet mine.

* * *

a/n-

Fluffiness! Finally!

Ok guys so all of you decided you'd rather longer chapters, so I'm keeping with those !

Now it's nearly christmas I'll sort of share with you writing plans-

Tommorow is my sisters birthday so there probably will not be a chapter then, but will be if I have the time.

All time up until christmas eve will be fine, but Christmas eve, Christmas day and boxing day there wont be any, I'm sorry :(

Also from the 27th to the 29th I'm away in Hampshire (South England) for my aunts wedding, I'm maid of honour ooh! So I'm afraid there will most likely not be a chapter then either, unless the hotel has WiFi :(

After that though schedule should be normal, touch wood!

-G :)

PS- Thank you guys so much, this story has reach 10,000 views! Ahhh! Also I saw somebody shared it on Tumblr too, a big thank you to whoever you are! Keep being amazing guys, you're all my inspiration! x


	27. Chapter 27

27: Cliché

Euphoria is the first emotion that rockets through me as Finnick kisses me. I've kissed people before, like Kai Ingatestone on the beach last year and Harry Kilduff outside of school. But it felt so different to this. To me, a kiss was meaningless, just a symbol you're dating someone. It's only now I realise just how wrong I was.

Finnick is obviously more experienced than I am, it's like a routine is almost programmed into him. When he pulls away slightly I begin giggling like a child, my stomach fluttering with happiness.

"What?" Finnick asks.

"Nothing!" I chuckle.

"Annie?" he smiles, tilting his head to the side ever so slightly. I bite down on my lip to stop myself from laughing again as the corners of my mouth try to spread out towards my ears.

"It's just," I fumble. "You're a good kisser"

"I'm glad I've met your seal of approval." Finnick grins, bringing his mouth forwards again. This time I kiss him back properly, turning my body round to face him completely and pushing my body closer, not so in shock of what's happening- I'm kissing Finnick Odair. I feel his hands feather-lightly touch the back of my neck, guarded by my hair. I bring mine up to his hair, feeling how soft his bronze curls, haphazard and unruly, are against my fingers.

After a while we break apart, short on breath and smiling like we've just accomplished our life achievements simultaneously. We just sit there, smiling at one another like pathetic lovebirds, unable to make sense of the moment. I feel him doing the book thing again, the way he looked at me on the train all those months ago before my Games, reading my thoughts and feelings. Unable to do the same as him I just watch him, noticing new things. New things like the faint freckles that dot the bridge of his nose. The way his eyelashes graduate from black to bronze. The tiny flecks of gold in his emerald eyes. The shadows his cheekbones cast. My hands still remain lodged in his hair, as do his on my neck.

"Well, that was fun." He whisper-laughs after a while, his breath caressing my face

"Fun is a bit of an understatement," I mumble sheepishly, casting my eyes down to the floor.

"Touché," he smiles. "You don't know how long I've wanted to do that."

I grin bashfully, biting down on my lip again to stop myself bursting into laughter. Finnick looks delightedly at me as I try to control myself. I haven't wanted to fully laugh this much in months, and now suddenly I'm in fits of giggles?

"Let's get you sorted out, Little Miss Sunshine" he gleams, pulling away from me and scooping me off of the ground and into his arms.

"Finnick!" I squeal as he carries me into Mags' kitchen, placing me on one of the stools at the breakfast bar before turning on the kettle and leaning over the countertop to me. I look quizzically at him as he observes me intently.

"What?" I ask.

"Nothing," he dismisses, shaking his head slightly. "You look different today,"

"In what way?"

Finnick takes my mug, some peppermint teabags and a bowl of sugar cubes from the cupboard. Setting them down on the side by the kettle before he turns back to me, a small smile playing on his lips.

"You look... Happier, more carefree," he starts. "And even more beautiful," he adds, winking at me.

"You're so cliché, Finnick. You know that right?" I groan, placing my hands on either side on my face so they cover my temples. Despite his sappy remark I'm still unable to stop the smile breaking on my face.

"Yep, but you know you love it." He winks. I roll my eyes at him slightly, sighing lightly in amusement. The kettle clicks as the water bubbles and steam billows from the spout. He pours the tea out, making sure to add an amount of sugar cubes I can't even comprehend into it before handing the mug to me. I take it gratefully; wincing from the overload of sweetness that floods my mouth when I take the first few first sips the tea much to Finnick's amusement.

"How do you handle this?!" I ask bewilderedly, getting up off of the chair that keeps spinning around. I stand up instead, hands on the counter.

"It takes some getting used to," he admits. "But once you've started, you can't stop... Sort of like kissing you." He winks again.

"Oh god" I laugh, closing my eyes and shaking my head at all of these ridiculous remarks of his. Suddenly he's grabbed my hand and has spun me round so I'm facing backwards into him. I tilt my head back to look at him and find his face centimetres from mine. I stay for a few seconds unsure what to do, just staring at him. My eyes move down his face and rest at his lips, revelling in how perfect they are. Instinctively I go up onto my tiptoes and peck them lightly. I unwind myself from his grip and turn round to face him properly.

"I'm tired, I'm going to bed," I tell him, before turning around. "Race you!" I holler, bounding off towards the stairs. Finnick laughs before following me as we scramble up the stairs and down the hall, trying to trip one another up. I just about reach the bedroom first, flinging myself down onto the bed and laughing.

"I let you win." Finnick insists,

"Yeah, ok," I laugh face down into the bed. I feel myself bounce slightly when Finnick falls down next to me as the mattress shakes. I move myself backwards so my head is on the pillow and roll over to face him. He is watching the night sky through the skylight contently and I nestle myself into him, tilting my head so I can see the millions of stars glittering in the inky blue stretch of darkness. I feel my eyes dropping down as I try to make sense of today, everything that's happened.

I've gone to the market, faced my fear of being in the public. Yes, I got stared at, people made comments, gasped, and even outright asked if I was Annie. It was hard, but I did it, I went to a stall and bought flowers, I gave the shopkeeper the money and smiled slightly, just like before the Games.

I went to Insula Patis too, I went to see Mari for the first time since her funeral. I feel guilty, very guilty I haven't. I've been selfish and too self-absorbed to even consider it. I haven't seen my parents either until today. That's even worse. But I did it. I even went to see Seger. I miss him a lot, but seeing him was nice, almost like part of him was there with me.

But above all of it, I kissed Finnick. Three times. That's the hardest thing to process, how our relationship will have now changed forever because of tonight. I don't know what to make of it, am I his girlfriend? Am I his lover? Or are we just friends playing about? I don't want that, that was the only kiss that made me feel something other than lips against mine. To think that one month ago in District 2 Lyme suggested we were together, and I thought it was impossible. It's going to be complicated; if Snow finds out we're in huge trouble. We're probably not even together really, just, well.

The thoughts spin round and round on repeat through my mind as my eyes close even more, resisting against my hyperactive mindset. I can feel myself drifting away into unconsciousness, a night either free or plagued with nightmares whether it's been a good day or not.

"Happy Birthday, Annie" Finnick whispers as I finally close my eyes completely and he presses a kiss to the crown of my head. I smile contently and curl even more into his side, his hand on the small of my back as I drift away, still smiling, into sleep.

He need not worry, this has been a birthday above all others.

* * *

A/n-

HAPPY CHRISTMAS/HOLIDAYS/WHATEVER YOU CELEBRATE FOR TOMORROW GUYS!

So it turns out I was super busy yesterday AND today, so here's a sneaky chapter to last you through christmas day to around New Years (hopefully before!)

Now I'm pretty new to all the kiss and relationship stuff, so seriously, let me know if things are getting too soppy!

Have an AMAZING christmas or other holiday, you all deserve it and I will hopefully be writing another A/n soon! :D

-G :)


	28. Chapter 28

28: Package

I awake still smiling like a blithering idiot. Finnick and I have not moved positions all night but I find that my arm has ended up draping over his chest. Although it must be mid morning Finnick is still fast asleep. He'd sleep until the Earth exploded if he was allowed to. Mags or myself usually have to wake him ourselves but even then he takes an eternity to get out of bed.

I carefully un-attach myself from him and slip out of bed, still fully clothed in what I wore yesterday. I rub my eyes and stretch, arching my back and straining my arms. The last time I didn't properly give myself time to wake up I fell down the stairs and caused Finnick to nearly die laughing. I wander into the bathroom and begin cleaning my teeth and running a comb through my haphazard hair before running downstairs to see Mags. I turn into the kitchen and shiver slightly from the coolness of the tiles on my bare feet. Mags is leant over the cooker, stirring up another of her amazing recipes. I lean carefully over her shoulder and see her placing salmon into what will soon be an omelette.

"Good morning, Mags!" I say chirpily, sitting on a stool around her counter.

"Morning dear!" she replies, stirring the omelette round. "Good sleep?"

"Great sleep!" I grin. Mags turns her frying pan over onto the plate and swivels her head round.

"I bet you did," she says smugly. I blush and look down, biting my lip. Mags knows. Is she angry with me? Mags places my plate gently in front of me and places a finger under my chin, tilting it up. I look worriedly into her eyes and her serious expression.

"Thank you," she says, breaking into a smile. I narrow my eyes in confusion at her words. Mags laughs and lets my chin go. "For finally kissing the boy, the tension between the two of you was unbearable, I was about to jam your faces together myself!" she chuckles. I can't help but laugh with her. We had turned so obvious that even Mags could no longer deal with us. I begin to eat the omelette, still laughing.

"We were that bad?" I ask. Mags has returned back to the cooker to make Finnick's breakfast and I see her nod.

"_That _bad," she says, a grin in her voice.

"Oh no," I say, my voice a mixture of a laugh, smile and groan as I place my hands between my head. Mags chuckles by the stove as she cracks a countless number of eggs into the pan. Well at least it's happened now, I just don't know what will happen from now, and that worries me. I finish the omelette and stand up, beginning to wash up my plate and cutlery.

"Leave it dear," Mags insists. "You go wake Finnick up, this'll be long done by the time he gets his sorry self down here!"

"That's true," I agree. "I'll be back by tonight," I tell her, skipping from the kitchen. I hear Mags laugh as I round the corner. I skip up the stairs and quietly enter the bedroom. Finnick is still fast asleep, limbs sprawled out and easily covering the space of the double bed. I go round to the side where he is closer to me and lean over so I'm right next to him.

"You know," I whisper loudly into his ear. "I'm beginning to question who the real Sleeping Beauty is."

Finnick heavily opens his eyes and I smile at how filled with sleep they are, the emerald shade of his irises cloudy yet still so bright. He grins and laughs slightly, flicking a stray curl from his forehead.

"Seeing as it's your name _I _made up for you," he challenges, moving his head to mine. "You," he says, pecking my nose. I scrunch it in fake disgust and smile, moving away and throwing the blanket off him and opening the curtain, letting the low winter sun blaze into the room.

"Get up, you," I say, laughing as Finnick groans and covers his eyes with his hands, shielding them from the light. "Mags is slaving away down there getting your breakfast ready!"

"Breakfast?!" he says excitedly, uncovering his face and sitting up slightly.

"Yes, breakfast," I giggle. "Get up or you'll miss it!" I scold lightly.

Finnick rolls his eyes and I imitate him. It's like looking after a child when he first wakes up. I can smell the scent of the food wafting through the open door and apparently Finnick can too, because his eyes suddenly open wider and his back straightens.

"Ok, ok!" he surrenders. "I'm getting up!" he insists as I give him a warning look. I nod, satisfied, as he actually stands up. He yawns heavily and I lean against the wardrobe and cross my eyes stubbornly. I look around happily so he knows I'm not going and he can't go back to sleep. He probably would, Mags or me would give in and bring the food to him. Tomorrow I might just jump on him and haul him downstairs. He sighs exasperatedly and trudges into the bathroom. I hear him yawn exaggeratedly several times and smile to myself. He comes out after a few minutes. His hair is still messy but not bedraggled and he looks more awake.

"Get changed, I'll wait out in the hall," I instruct him. He nods and I grin smugly now that he's following what I say. I wander into the hall and wait for him to come out, running my hands along the floral pattern of the wallpaper. He exits slowly a short while later in fresh clothing. It dawns on me that I only have a small amount of clothing here that Mags picked up when I needed a dress for the last part of the Victory Tour. I'm going to have to go home sooner or later.

"Annie?" Finnick asks as my eyes distance as I begin to slip into my own world. I instantly pull myself back to reality at his voice and look enquiringly at him. He grins mischievously and I eye him warily. "Race you!" he shouts, bolting for the stairs just as I did yesterday. I laugh and chase after him and we clamber down the stairs clumsily and loudly. I try several times to duck under his arms but he can sense me there and blocks my path. Once we get to the downstairs corridor I manage to squeeze in line with him as we turn into the kitchen.

"I won!" Finnick declares, jumping up onto Mags' countertop.

"You did not!" I say. Mags hits Finnick's leg and he laughs, sliding off the counter and falling onto a stool instead.

"Well whoever won, you woke half the District up while doing it!" Mags tuts. We both laugh and I take some cutlery from the drawer, placing it in front of Finnick before taking the stool next to him.

"Thank you, my darling Mags!" Finnick says as she places his plate by him, attempting to buy her affection back. Mags rolls her eyes and laughs, turning to clean up all the cooking utensils.

"Strange that Annie got you up so quickly," she starts. "I wonder how she persuaded you?" she adds knowingly. I smile and look down at the marble and Finnick laughs.

"She threatened me, actually," Finnick says.

"I never!" I gasp, turning to look at him. He snorts and goes to lean back, nearly sending the stool flying towards the floor. My shriek of shock from the expectation of a broken neck turns to one of hysteric laughter as he falls back forwards. I cover my face with my hands and laugh hysterically at him, shoulders heaving.

"Ok, she didn't _actually _threaten me," Finnick rephrases, over the shock of nearly falling off the stool.

"It would've worked," Mags says, turning from her cleaning. "If she threatened you with either no breakfast or kisses he'd be up like a shot!"

Finnick laughs again and I smile sheepishly.

"I can't believe my two little Victors are finally together!" Mags beams. She's never going to let this go, is she?

* * *

Mags has just got back from the market and has bought two bags of fruit favoured dragee sweets from the confectionary stall. She places them on top of the piano that Finnick and I are sat at, sharing the stool as I play and he watches. I look up at them and lift my hands off the keys.

"Thank you Mags!" both me and Finnick say simultaneously.

"You're both welcome," she smiles. "Carry on playing Annie, I'm just going to do some gardening." We both nod and she leaves the room. Mags will garden in any condition, even in the freezing January air. I go to start playing something else when Mags turns back into the room.

"I forgot, this came for you this morning!" Mags says, placing a small wrapped package in front of me. I look curiously at it and take it in my hands, sizing up its weight.

"Open it," Finnick says. I nod and undo the top, taking out a piece of paper and unfolding it. I faintly recognise the writing as I read through it.

**_Dear Annie,_**

**_Have a fabulous Birthday, darling! I look forward to meeting you again in the summer!_**

**_~Chiara._**

"It's from Chiara," I smile, looking at Finnick. His eyes widen and he grins at me.

"What has she got you?" he asks, amused. I peer cautiously into the package and turn it over. A small, pearlescent violet bottle falls on to my hand. Through the translucent glass I can see liquid.

"Perfume," we both say together, my voice pleasant and Finnick's full of dread. The women in the Capitol reek of it.

"It's ok I'll-" I start, going to place it on the floor.

"No, open it, it's ok," Finnick says quietly. I look at him and see he means it, his face is determined. I nod and go to pull the lid off to spray it. Suddenly the sound of the telephone rings through the house.

"I'll get it," I say, hopping up and moving quickly to near the front door. The carpet is soft underneath my feet as I go to fetch the phone. I wrap my hands around the white, plastic receiver and hold it to my ear.

"Hello?" I ask. My heart drops and starts beating rapidly when I hear his voice.

"Ah, Miss Cresta, I'm glad I got hold of you. I called your own phone but you never answered." President Snow says smoothly.

"No, I'm round Mags'," I stammer.

"Clearly," Snow says. "I heard it was you Birthday yesterday, am I correct?"

"Yes," I say quietly.

"Well I hope you enjoyed yourself," he says lightly. "I called to wish you a happy Birthday, and to advise you," He says. He doesn't wish me a Happy Birthday, he wishes I was dead. Fear pulses through every inch of my being as he speaks.

"Warn me about what?" I ask apprehensively.

"Just because you're in the Capitol it does not mean the Capitol does not know what you're doing," Snow says darkly.

"What do you mean?" This is scaring me now.

"I mean that you and Mr Odair are two Victors, _not_ two lovers." He tells me. I slowly start hyperventilating and sense Finnick coming up to me. He gently takes the receiver from my trembling hand and places it against his ear, pulling me closer to him.

"Hello?" he says firmly. His face darkens and he scowls at Snow's voice. How does he know? Are there tabs, cameras, spies?

"Yeah, good luck with that." Finnick seethes, slamming the receiver back on its hook.

"How does he know?" I ask shakily.

"Snow knows everything, for all we know there are muttation cats in the Victors Village looking through the windows, or Jabberjays sitting in Mags' garden," Finnick sighs. It's true, some of the mutts the Capitol comes up with, even the furniture could be watching us.

"What will he do?"

Finnick pauses for a while, softly stroking the back of my head.

"I don't know," he says softly.

When do we ever know?

* * *

A/n-

Finally! We're back! I'm so sorry guys, this Christmas and New Year have been so hectic! I had no idea how busy I'd be! But we've got another chapter, phew! Hope you all had a lovely holiday, roll on 2014!

-G :)


	29. Chapter 29

29: Swimming

Why? Why does Snow have to ruin everything?!

He's like a ball of negativity and bad fate swirling and sweeping through people, leaving behind a downfall that's so hard you come crashing down like you're going from cloud nine to rock bottom. Even Finnick, who seems so knowledgeable when it comes to predicting Snow's actions doesn't know what will happen. Can he even hurt us anymore than he already has? He's killed both of our families, forced Finnick into prostitution, and threatened me with it. He can't undo the deal he made; it would fall too hard on him.

I breathe shallowly as Finnick holds me, trying to control the shivers that are flowing recklessly through my body even though the house is warm. I don't know what I'm feeling now, a concoction of anger, fear and anxiety roll around my head. If Finnick wasn't lulling me I'd be having a panic attack, instead I'm stuck in the transition between a panic attack and normality. I've always been known for being peaceful, never being angry or aggressive towards anyone or anything. But now is an exception. I feel hatred towards Snow. I don't think I've ever felt real hatred, but now I do I know how it feels. I hate him. Hate him hate him hate him. I fiddle with the bracelet round my wrist and tense up. I don't like being angry.

"It's going to be fine, there's nothing he can do," Finnick reassures me. I nod and sigh, pulling away.

"Yeah," I agree tiredly. "But I wish he'd just leave us alone,"

"He's never going to. He'll try his hardest to be a nuisance," Finnick says exasperatedly. "But it's not like he's got an entire nation to run." He adds bitterly. I smile ever so slightly and nod, it's true. The time he could spend helping Panem become a better place is spent spying on us.

"He really is a bad ruler, isn't he?" I say. Finnick smiles grimly and nods. Panem has been in dictatorship for 70 years now and he's hasn't, and probably doesn't want to, do anything to change it.

"How about we aggravate him more?" Finnick suggests lightly, a hint of mischief in his voice.

"I think that's a wonderful idea," I grin, leaning up and kissing him again. Once again, happiness rockets through me as we collide. I have to go on my tiptoes to reach him properly because he's tall and I'm short. Thankfully his head is leaned down though, and I don't embarrass myself with my bad balance. I still can't believe I'm kissing him. Technically we're lovers now and just the word makes me tense in excitement. I smile against his lips and feel him do the same, only for me to gasp and pull away as I hear Mags' voice.

"Oh no, don't mind me!" she says gleefully, practically skipping into the kitchen. "Just washing my flower pots!" she sings from in the kitchen as the sound of water flowing starts. One of my hands is on Finnick's shoulder and I can feel them shaking with laughter.

"It's not funny!" I hiss quietly, although I can't help but smile because Mags can't get enough of it.

"It is, she was probably watching us like a pervert." Finnick chuckles, louder than he should have. My mouth falls open and I pull my hand to it as Finnick does the same. My other hand is in his hair and his is on my waist. We stand there in silence for a few seconds when I see Mags storming round the corner.

"I heard that!" she says, clipping Finnick on the ear with a wooden spoon. I can't help but laugh as he turns round. "I don't want to hear anything like that in my house ever again Finnick Poseidon Odair, do you hear me?!" she scolds. I giggle into my hand as Finnick rubs his ear disdainfully.

"Oh and Annie dear, carry on kissing him or he'll moan all day!" Mags chimes, beaming as she totters back outside. Finnick turns his head round, mouth wide open in a look that says 'are you serious?!' and I start giggling. It then increases to real laughs as Finnick shakes his head disapprovingly.

"That's favouritism, you know," he says matter-of-factly.

"Yeah, ok," I laugh. His expression softens and he runs a hand down the side of my face.

"You're even more gorgeous when you laugh," he states. I grin and peck his cheek. "That's it?" he whimpers, his eyes saddening.

"Your puppy eyes won't work on me," I smile, taking his hand. "Can we go outside?"

"In this weather?!" he asks. It is freezing outside, it's January after all. The air holds a chilly haze to it and the wind whips around the District, coming on strong from the sea.

"Yes, in this weather," I clarify. I take my coat from the hook by the door and wrap it round me. "Come on, or am I going alone?" I know he'd come with me anyway but this gets him out quicker.

"Fine," he huffs, grabbing his jacket. I open the door and a strong draft gusts in, making me flinch. Finnick looks knowingly at me and just mimic him. I'm fully aware how cold it is but I want to go round the District with him, just to defy Snow that bit more.

We step outside and the icy gale rushes past me. I narrow my eyes as they water and sting and take Finnick's hand as we venture out into the cold. It wouldn't be that bad if it wasn't for the sea wind coming in.

We trek out of the housing and away from the beach, out towards the fields. They're outside the boundary and there's probably no way out but the boundary is on a nice hill anyway. It takes a while and my teeth are chattering wildly once we arrive. There are no gaps in the fence to climb through, little to my surprise. District 4 is high on security, during the Dark Days we had a lot of runaways.

I lean against Finnick's shoulder and shiver, refreshed by the icy wind. It's nice being this far out, nobody around. I begin shivering again and Finnick takes his jacket off and wraps it around my shoulders.

"No, its ok," I insist, shrugging it off.

"Take it Annie, you're freezing," he says.

"Wont you be cold?" I ask. He's only wearing a t-shirt and his tanned arms seem to not be bothered by the cold.

"I'm fine, keep this on," he says. I give in and we sit and talk together in complete peacefulness. We talk about summer and what we'll do when the weather is hot. Finnick tells me all about his swimming, how before he was Reaped he had a coach and was going to compete in the championships but was Reaped.

"Go back," I say.

"Back swimming?" Finnick asks.

"Yeah, we have a pool and nobody's stopping you," I muse. We do, when it's too cold to swim in the sea the Capitol gave us the 'privilege' of an indoor pool.

"You won't want to go," he says.

"I'll sit at the edge and watch you," I decide. I'm not ready to be in water yet but I can be near it.

"Are you sure?"

"Sure as I'll ever be."

Finnick grins out on to the horizon. I could see in his eyes how much he misses it and I'm not going to stop him going back.

"How about tomorrow?" I ask.

"That's quick," he says.

"May as well, no different to doing it next year. And, if you go, I promise to try go in the sea in the summer." I contemplate. Finnick turns and smiles.

"Deal."

* * *

I wake up the next morning feeling like my throat has been scratched by a lethal wild cat. I can't breathe through my nose and my head hurts. I try to sit up but I feel like there's a weight in my head so I fall back on to my pillow, waking Finnick.

"Are you ok?" he asks worriedly.

"Depends what your version of ok is," I croak, my voice hoarse and squeaky. Finnick sits up and pushes my hair back, feeling my forehead.

"Ann you're boiling," he breathes. I shake my head and go to get up but he keeps me down. "Not today, wait there and I'll be back,"

And just like that he's up and going downstairs, awake and moving like he never fell asleep.

Maybe there are ways to get him up.

He returns with my mug of peppermint tea and two pills. Mags trails anxiously behind him. He sits back next to me and sets the mug in my lap and the pills in my hands.

"Let me look at her!" Mags says, bustling over. She places her hand over my head and presses places over my neck, looking concerned. "It's a bad cold you have there dear, take those pills and don't strain yourself. I'll close these blinds, can't have light making the headache worse..." she mutters to herself. She's like how my mother used to be when I was ill as a child, she used to act like it was a national emergency. I have a lot to thank Mags for, she's the closest thing to a mother I have now.  
And I won't hesitate to say she's doing an amazing job at it.

* * *

A/n-

Hi :) I was ill today so I could write! I'm gonna try keep to daily chapters but it may have to downgrade to one every two days, I'm so busy this new year! I doubt school will be better!

Hope you have a great week back at school/work guys!

-G :)


	30. Chapter 30

30: Flashbacks

"I still can't believe you let yourself get sick," Finnick laughs, wrapping another blanket around me to help my fever break.

"The wind did," I croak in protest. He just grins and falls down next to me on the futon, wrapping his arm round the bundle of covers that encase me. "We're still going swimming." I add.

"Not on my watch you aren't." Mags has tottered in with her arms full of flowers that she has to get imported from District 11. I look deploringly at them. I've never liked the regime of Districts working for the Capitol, let alone other Districts. Mags sees and I break eye contact immediately, pretending to be completely fascinated with the leafless tree in the middle of the Victors Village. "Don't you worry, dear," Mags says, setting the flowers down. "Seeder got them, she grows them herself,"

Seeder is a Victor from 11, I remember her from the Victory tour, and she's lovely. I nod and tilt my head back behind the futon's backboard, my eyes heavy. Finnick runs a hand over my forehead and up towards my hair.

"Fever's broken," he informs Mags. It certainly has, I'm boiling under these blankets. Finnick stands and grins wickedly. I eye him suspiciously and he winks. He rolls his shoulders and tosses his head about, then stands up straight.

"And now," he drawls in an excellent Capitol accent. "I will reveal what beauty lies underneath the sheets!"

I grimace and hide my head under the blankets, trying not to laugh. I suddenly jump at the whip of cool air as the blankets fly away and crumple around the reception room carpet.

"Finnick!" Mags says reproachfully. I laugh and reposition myself so I'm laying horizontally over the whole three chair cushions. Finnick absent-mindedly lifts my feet up and sits down, letting them fall back on to his legs. I wish we could go swimming. I'd never go in the water but I'd like to watch.

"I feel better now." I decide, my voice still scratchy but waved off when I sit up straighter, flicking my hair back defiantly. Finnick smirks and Mags shakes her head.

"No. You're staying right here," she says firmly. I pout and look at her pleadingly. "Annie, I said no," she repeats. I sigh heavily and purposely make my eyes tear up. At the same time Finnick gives Mags his pleading look, when his mouth frowns and his eyes go all sweet and shiny. It occasionally works on me and almost always Mags. Seeing both of us begging her to let us out makes her expression soften and she sighs exasperatedly.

"Fine!" she huffs. We both jump up- mine is more of a stumble- and Finnick bolts for the door. I follow excitedly, this time getting a scarf, gloves and hat for the journey. Just as Finnick swings the door open Mags calls "If you're both ill tomorrow I'll be round Tulia's house with a nice, _relaxing_ cup of tea!"

We chuckle and cross the path to Finnick's house where he runs in and grabs his swimming gear he used all so long ago. I wait in the hallway, the house cold and uncared for over these months since my Games. He runs down like a child on their birthday, a bag slung over his shoulder.

"Let's go!" I sings, taking my hand and nearly running from the door. He almost drags me down to the town and into the pool and I stumble obediently behind him, my head still pounding. I brush it away, refusing to let it bother me. I sit on a bench by the changing cubicles and take my shoes and over-clothes off as I start to sweat in the warmness. I throw off my shoes too, feeling how cool the tiles are against my toes.

Finnick bounds out happily wearing his swimming shorts. I smile contently at seeing him so excited just to be in the water. He goes to the poolside and I trail behind, perching at the poolside far enough from the water so I won't be splashed. He dives smoothly and lingers under the water for a huge amount of time. I see his silhouette under the ripples of the empty pool as he turns and just floats down there, before coming up for air. He erupts through the surface and shakes his head like a dog, sending droplets flying everywhere. He grins at me and I smile back as he throws himself over on his back and starts swimming properly, novelty of simply being surrounded by water long gone. I guiltily try to erase the image of his shirtless torso from my mind, annoyed that I was so attracted to it. I'm just as bad as those girls in the District. Except he is my... My what? I still can't accumulate the right word for it. I'm going to ask Finnick later.

Finnick moves like the water is air, somehow being so graceful although on land he could be classed as clumsy and uncoordinated as I am, except when he's with his trident. He still trains on the beach lots, he either goes at night or early in the morning.

My muse is interrupted by a young girl toddling to the poolside with her mother. She spots me and runs over while her mother is distracted arranging towels. She stands in front of me, no older than 4 years old, and looks happily at me.

"You're Annie!" she sings. I smile slightly and nod, the little girl fearlessly talking to the mad girl. "I'm Marella, and I'm 4, and I saw you do your swimming and I want to do it too!" she trills. Suddenly her mother has rushed over, mumbling a light apology to me before dragging little Marella away, hissing at her to not talk to people like me. I don't blame her, no parent wants their child talking to a psychotic mad girl, do they?

The thought of her being inspired to swim by my Games makes me feel sick, and terrified, because I can feel a flashback forming. I press the heels of my palms over my ears and breathe deeply for a few moments to regain composure. Not now.

Finnick rises from the end of the pool, propping his elbows on the edge.

"You ok?" he asks. I nod encouragingly and he winks and shoots back into the depths of the water. I watch Marella dabble in the shallow corner of the pool near me, splashing and squealing excitedly. She notices me watching and wades over so she's near me.

"Do you want to come in?" she asks.

"No thank you," I reply softly.

"Ok," she says. I see her mother approaching behind. "But I'll give you some water anyway!"

No, I don't want it, she can't splash me. I'll go into meltdown.

"It's ok..." I begin anxiously, but I'm disrupted by the splashing of water as she throws her hands in the air, just as her mother scoops her up. The drops fly towards me and I watch in horror as they land on my feet, arms and legs.

Then I'm plunging into a flashback.

I'm in the waves again. They twist and turn me. Blood is everywhere, scarlet, blood. Seger's blood. Water and blood water and blood water and blood. I cant get up for air, they're pushing me down. Down down down. I can't breathe, I can't I can't I can't. There's Aziah. He has a sword. Come to kill me. Good, let him. Kill me kill me kill me. Better than drowning underwater like this.

Mari. I see Mari. She's there, under the wave. She has my shoulders, telling me to fight. No. She's dead. Mari is dead. Forever. She's never coming back. Ever.

There's Mags. Trying to help. She can't. Useless. I'm dead anyway. Dead like Mari.

There's Finnick. He's begging me to stay. I cant stay. He wants me to look at him. He's not there. He wants wants wants what I cant do. He says it's ok. It's not. It never will be. Ever. Because I'm dead.

Dead dead dead.

"Annie," He says. "Annie _it's not real_,"

I plunge out of the hallucination to his voice. I'm shaking, my arms are bloody again. Blood. Blood blood blood. I shriek and cover my ears and shut my eyes. Get away. Stop stop stop the blood.

"It's fine, you're here, with me," he says soothingly. His voice is comforting, muffled by my covered ears.

"Finn I was dying, I'm dying!" I gasp, opening my eyes and looking frantically at him.

"You're alive and safe here," he whispers, wrapping his arms around me. I sob hysterically into his shoulder, my tears making his skin go sticky. I feel eyes on me and glance up through bleary vision to see a crowd of would be swimmers have gathered to witness my public breakdown.

Another day in the presence of the mad girl from District 4.

* * *

A/n-

Hi! My non-committed attitude is so bad I'm really sorry :(

I felt that we needed to see what Annie does when she has triggers (blood, water) and how she has breakdowns, because I've only vaguely outlined it. So, here!

I can't believe it's chapter 30! Oh my goodness! Thank you guys SO MUCH for supporting this story, you're all my inspiration to keep writing, your reviews make my day 3

Love you guys!

-G :)


	31. Chapter 31

31: Drugs

Blood. That's all I can think about, all I see. Everywhere. Anything red is blood. Blood blood blood bleeding bleeding bleeding into everything.

_Lovely to speak to you again, Annie._

No! No no no no no! Not the voice, I thought it had gone, never coming back! Why is it here!? Although Finnick's arms are safe and strong as he carries me I feel unsafe. The voice is taking over again, attacking and blinding me. Insane insane insane.

I bury my face in Finnick's chest and cover my ears as tightly as I can. My hands hurt but it keeps the voice away.

_Does it, Annie?_

Will it away, will it away. That's what the psychologist said. Only you can make it go, he said. Of course you're strong enough, he said. But I'm not, I'm not I'm not I'm not. The voice whispers the Victors' Song from Insula Patis. It's haunting and scary and I can't block it out. Why wont it stop? Make it stop!

"There's a cold dark corner  
in the back of your room,  
it's us speaking  
and saying we're coming for you."

No! I'm alive, I'm safe, it can't hurt me it's not real.

"As you lie on your bed  
in the fetal position,  
your eyes are closed  
hoping and wishing,"

I'm not there, I'm here. Outside with Finnick, we're going home. It can't hurt me, it's not real!

"Maybe that one day,  
Your dreams will come true,  
and you don't have to be here,  
so down and blue"

I'm fine. I am fine. Aren't I? I'm fine! That's not my dream! It can't hurt me, _it's not real, _Annie. _Not real_!

"The corner is here,  
talking for a reason,  
you're going to die,  
and be sent to the sea soon."

I'm not going to die. The voice can't hurt me. It can't. Can it though? Can it?! No. I'm ok. I'm alive. I'm safe and healthy. It's ok. It is. It _is_!

"As the corner gets closer,  
and takes you in"

_Stop it! _I'm trapped. I can't get out. The voice has taken me, snatched me from reality and dragged me down so far below the waves I can't get back up before I drown. I'm drowning in the hallucinations and voices.

"Your soul will burn,  
just as ours did."

No. Mine's drowning. It's thrashing around in your depths of madness, destined to dwindle from the beginning.

"Your bones shall lie there,  
turning to dust,"

So this is what it's like to be lost.

"Sooner or later,  
you'll be one of us."

Lost. Drowning. Dying. Forever and ever. I know when I can get out of a fit, I know when I can escape. Now I can't. I've let myself be dragged too deep, too far down and now I'm trapped. Caged up in my own nightmare.

All because of a few drops of water.

* * *

I'm unresponsive. I know I'm being talked at, begged at, pleaded at and even shouted at by Mags and Finnick. But I can't get out to communicate with them, I'm consumed by myself. I didn't think that was possible, losing yourself, in yourself. Apparently so. The last time I had this was when we got back from my Games. Games. Seger. Decapitated. Blood. Victor. Death.

Then comes the moment when I submerge into reality, gasping and thrashing and screaming just like I've surfaced from a tidal wave, only to be dragged back under again by my mind. It's plagued with fuzzy and blurred images of anything, some I recognise and others are foreign to me. All the while my eyes cloud over as I stare blankly at the wall. I can't eat, sleep, drink, anything. Unless it's coaxed or even forced into me by my desperate family.

It's frustrating, infuriating even, to be held captive by your own mind. You know full well that you can escape, get out and be real. But you just can't, there's part of you that won't let yourself do that and it holds you down. It's terrifying.

Suddenly something clicks inside of me and I fall forward, gasping as my vision un-blurrs and my other senses come springing to life. I tumble into a mess, choking and sobbing and hyperventilating all at once, yet smiling in relief that I've returned to Earth. Finnick rushes in before I can make sense of what's even going on and holds my shoulders, watching me intently.

"You back, princess?" he asks. I nod meekly and he sighs in relief, pulling me into a tight embrace. My eyes are only half open as I try to push my tears back into my eyes, but the well and overspill, a single droplet rolling off my eyelashes and running down my cheek.

"How long was I gone?" I whisper.

"Three days," he replies softly. Three whole days locked away. I just feel emptiness, no real emotion though I'm crying and want to scream, sob, laugh and shout all at once.

"I'm sorry, Finn" I say thickly. How he hasn't given up or had enough of me yet is beyond me.

"Don't be, it's not your fault," he soothes, moving away to brush some hair from my face and wipe his fingers under my eyes. I look helplessly at him and he smiles slightly, almost sadly.

What I need is something to numb the sadness, the helplessness, the emptiness. I need something to push it away, block it from my mind.

"Finn, I want some drugs," I burst out accidentally.

"What?" he asks incredulously as I slap my hand over my mouth. "Anne you're not getting any drugs, you don't need them,"

"Yes, I do," I whisper. My eyes sting again and his eyes flood with pain. Seeing him so upset is heartbreaking.

"I can get the psychologist over..." he starts.

"I don't like the psychologist, he makes me feel like an invalid," I whine.

"Ok... Well, I could get Murphy's wife Aubrey over, she's a healer..."

"Finn, I don't want any doctors or healers or psychologists," I cry.

Finnick sighs in exasperation, running his hand through his hair and closing his eyes momentarily.

"Anne, please don't be difficult," he begs, taking my hand. "We can't get the drugs without a doctor to supply them for you, and even then they wouldn't give you them,"

"What about morphling?!" I ask enthusiastically.

"There is no way you're using morphling," he says sternly. I frown at him. "You've seen what the stuff does to people,"

"I won't get out of hand!" I insist.

"Annie, you don't need drugs, they're going to do you more good than bad. End of story, ok?" he says firmly. I scowl at him and he raises his eyebrows challengingly.

"Finn..." I start.

"Nope," he interrupts.

"But..."

"No,"

"Finnick!"

"Annie!"

"Why...?" I begin angrily. But Finnick cuts me off by kissing me abruptly. I'm caught by surprise at first, my eyes widening and body tensing but I immediately relax. I know he's charming his way out of it, but I can ignore it this time. The closeness of bodies and electricity between us comforts me after all this time withdrawn.

"If you ever took drugs and got carried away," he murmurs against my lips after a while. "It would kill us both,"

"I know," I reply back. It would, of course it would, but the impulse is so strong I'd be willing to risk it.

"I win then," he grins.

"I never said I agree with you," I shoot back.

"You so did," he laughs softly, kissing me lightly again.

"I never," I say, pulling away and standing up. "I'd like to see you win this,"

"Win what?" he asks.

"Race you!"

* * *

A/n-

Hi!

As well as being really busy I found writing this particular chapter super hard, so I'm sorry if the quality isn't up to scratch!

Being back at school is killing me slowly, so is having to wake up early!

But I hope you guys had a good first week back!

-G :)


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